Where’s my TRIBE?!
steffani

Where’s my TRIBE?!

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family.  Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” Jane Howard

We know we need a tribe right?  This is not a new concept.  Jim Rohn taught us that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.  Then why don’t we consciously put effort into our own tribe?  How can we find this clan, network, family?  I’m here to share with you 4 steps that will help you start beating that drum with your new tribe. 

I remember the day I realized that I needed to find my tribe.  Years ago I read The Harvard Grant Study.  It’s a study that spanned over 75 years studying the physical and emotional habits and experiences of 268 Harvard college men. It basically explained that the connections you have with the people closest to you will not only determine how happy you are, but will also determine your level of wealth and success, the longevity and quality of your marriage, your level of health and wellness and how happy and fulfilled you live your life.  That’s pretty much everything.  And it all comes down to the quality of your relationships.  That hit me hard.  I looked around at my closest relationships and realized that 90% of them were not chosen they were convenient.  They consisted of co-workers, neighbors, teammates, gym friends, family members.  And they were fine, even somewhat fulfilling, but were they taking me everywhere I wanted to go in life?  Bottom line was no.  Could they be better?  Hell yes.  So I set out to find my tribe and see how that might enhance my life.  It didn’t take long to find them, and WOW was it a game changer.  I am now determined to create more tribes for women who like myself refuse to settle.  Here are the steps I took that lead me to my tribe. 

Step 1:  Set the right intention

No one finds what they want by setting an intention on what they don’t want.  So first things first, I set out to meet transformational leaders.  I wanted to surround myself with game changers.  People moving humanity forward in some way.  People dreaming big and living big.  If you set an intention to meet nice people, you’ll meet nice people.  Be specific. If you want to meet other parents who love hockey and are into philanthropy, set that intention.  Get clear on who you want to surround yourself with to enhance your life and the Universe will conspire to make it happen.  When I set that intention in February of 2012, I almost immediately heard about a conference called Afest.  I looked it up and WOW, that was my dream tribe.  They met every criteria I set in my intention.  This tribe was made up of dream big entrepreneurs, transformational leaders in every way, game changers and badass visionaries.  These people were living extraordinary lives in all areas.  I wanted IN.  And the Universe responded.  Later that year I attended my first Afest.  I’ve now been to 5 Afests in beautiful, tropical locations all over the world, and I have to say what keeps me going back is not the experience, it’s the tribe. Since knowing this tribe I created accountability groups and masterminds with some of these amazing people and because of those I’ve started 2 new businesses.  I’ve had more epic experiences and raised my quality of life more than I ever thought possible.  And most importantly I know that no matter where I am in the world I can find an Afester who’s got my back.  All of this started with a clear intention. 

Step 2: Look near and far

We tend to look for like minded people in our own backyard and that’s very possible, but thanks to social media and the internet we can find our tribe anywhere on the planet.  Stay open to how your tribe might show up and don’t be surprised if you meet a tribe member on the beach in Mykonos or at your local grocery store.  You have to stay open and search near and far.  Consider joining a Facebook group focused on your interests, look at your local bookstore, church or library for events that light you up inside.  Also try www.grouponlive.com, www.dabble.com   and www.meetup.com great recourses for local events covering a variety of interests. 

I recently attended a documentary film event at my local movie theater.  The documentary was about different school systems.  I arrived late and it was already dark.  The movie was very moving and really spoke to me.  When it ended I stood up applauding and when the lights came on I saw about 60 other people standing and clapping.  I looked around with a big smile and thought “ahhhh, here’s my local tribe”.  You never know where you might find them.

Step 3: Put yourself out there

How is anyone supposed to know that you’re into healing with essential oils if you never tell anyone?  We have to find a way to go deeper, be vulnerable and share our interests with others.  Sure it’s easy to attend an essential oils party and share with them but how can you find others when not in that environment?  My husband and I went on a cruise down the Rhine River with his work and we didn’t know anyone else on the trip.  Instead of just keeping to ourselves, which was our first instinct, I set an intention to meet some like minded people.  I found myself sitting next to the same women a few times, we had polite conversation and then something whispered to me to go deeper.  So I asked her what she was passionate about.  And that simple question opened the floodgates.  We started talking about life, love and happiness.  We talked about books we loved. We had a lot in common and we practically had an identical library at home.  It enhanced our trip in immeasurable ways to connect with someone on a deeper level.  Someone who speaks a similar language.  And thanks to social media we’re still in touch to this day.  So be vulnerable, go deeper, put yourself out there and you’ll meet more of your own. 

Step 4: Focus on what you believe

As I mentioned earlier this idea of a tribe sparked interest in creating my own tribe.  And thus, OPRF Mom Squad was born.

This Mom Mastermind is  a call to action for Mom’s who are ready to live a life they love again.  But it’s not based solely on things we have in common.  It’s based on what we BELIEVE.   If you look for people who have similar beliefs you’ll find an even deeper connection than if you look for those with similar interests.  You’ll find multiple ways to move your lives forward together.

Here’s a few of the basics that we believe in our OPRF Mom Squad: 

We believe that with the right mindset anything (and everything) is possible

We believe that we are 100% responsible for your reality

We believe in radical self love and self care

We believe a tribe of like-minded women is essential to extraordinary living

We believe it’s our job to safeguard our happiness

We believe in taking daily ACTION to be the best Mom we can be

We believe in finding as much joy along the journey as possible

We believe everything you need exists WITHIN you…it just needs the right supportive squad to bring it out

If you’d like to join this tribe of unstoppable Moms fill out this form and let’s get started….. We officially start Jan 4th and space is limited.

If you’re ready to meet your tribe and you follow these 4 steps be sure to buckle your seat belt.  And be prepared if you set out on this journey to leave what no longer serves you behind.  With a solid tribe on your side you’ll make a lot of powerful positive changes in your life.  Your current life might be unrecognizable in just a few months.  And you’ll see what the Harvard Grant Study proves, that life is better with a tribe. 

How Can I Love You Better?
steffani

How Can I Love You Better?

Quick question…

How often do you show your partner you love them?
How often do you show your kids that you love them?
Do you do it THIS time of year but not every day? 
Do you talk about it openly? Do you know what they need to feel loved?

For me the magic of the holiday season is a great excuse to love on people more.  I give more hugs for no reason.  I tell my friends and family I love them and wish them well and happy.  I write letters of gratitude and give gifts of thanks.  Easy to do this now.  What if we did this ALL the time.  And what if we dove DEEPER into love over the holidays.

Thich Nhat Hanh says in his book Touching Peace that we should look deeply into our loved ones eyes and say “please tell me how I can love you better.”

If you’re a woman talking to a man I’m sure you know the nature of how he might respond. And it will most likely have to take place in the bedroom. Instead of just shrugging this off, really listen for the answer and see how you can meet your family’s needs.

When I asked my husband this question his first answer had something to do with me in a maid costume. Then, when I pushed him for more, he had a few practical suggestions.

“Support me when I have to work a lot. Help me find time to get out and play hockey. Don’t ride me when I’m tired and dismissive, it’s nothing personal.”

Wow. Is that all?

Seriously….aren’t those great suggestions? Are you telling me that if I do those things you’ll feel more LOVED? Then I’m in! Not a problem.

When I asked my friends they said nothing at first then they told me that I can call them more, and I can send them a holiday card. How easy is that? I would love to love them better in that way. When I asked my sister she said, “you can spend more time with me. You can support my dreams.” My other sister said, “you can be more patient with me.” What wonderful information for me to learn about my family.

What if we asked our kids “How can I love you better?” And really listened to the answer. They might have some great suggestions. The answers might have to do with more flexibility or more freedom and maybe that’s OK. They might want to spend more time with you, and that’s OK too. Or they might need you to be more patient with them or kinder with your words. (um, raises hand…) But wouldn’t it be great to know how you can love someone better? Why not ask them and see for yourself?

I dare you, this holiday season, ask your Mom, ask your sister, ask your children. Be so bold to ask your husband or wife and see the beauty it brings.

I hope this holiday season finds you FILLED with more happiness than your heart and hands can hold.

How can I love you better?

Steffani

Prepare for the New Year: 4 Simple Steps to Manifest Anything
steffani

Prepare for the New Year: 4 Simple Steps to Manifest Anything

We all want to create the life of our dreams, right?

With the New Year right around the corner we’re all focusing on making this our BEST YEAR YET.

So here are the basics…..

If you are familiar with the basics of the law of attraction, then you know how to use it. You know that thoughts become things. You know that your thoughts place an order and you know that what you focus on you’ll get more of. It’s that simple, right?

So why isn’t it working?  Feels a little empty I know.

Even if we KNOW our thoughts become things there are still things we WANT.  Why aren’t we ALL living the life of our dreams?

Sometimes we try and try to manifest a certain thing…. a certain relationship…..a certain weight……a new job……more money……a speaking gig at your favorite conference (ok maybe that’s just me). But why hasn’t it happened yet?

Here’s a great tool that will help you.

I created these 4 simple steps to help you go deeper.  To help you finally manifest your dreams, desires and goals and watch them leap into your life. You’ll experience the jubilation of that dream come true and you’ll more thoroughly enjoy the journey.

I created these 4 simple steps to help you go deeper.  To help you finally manifest your dreams, desires and goals and watch them leap into your life. This is the behind the scene secret to the law of attraction.

Are you ready for change? For the 2017 of your DREAMS? Then buckle up and let’s get started….

Step #1. Get excited and KNOW that it will come!

The first and probably most important step in this 4 step process is GET EXCITED! Really get excited! Let’s pretend that I’m a world renowned psychic and I just looked into your very near future and told you that your most treasured dreams, your most sought after goals are happening to you right now. They’ve been ordered and they’ve been shipped. They’ll be arriving shortly. What would you do? Would you celebrate? Would you jump for joy? You would par-tay! You would get excited. You would think holy cow it’s actually happening. So get in that feeling place get excited and KNOW that it will come. Have faith, stay strong and celebrate its arrival.

Step #2. Change your thoughts by any means possible.

So this step is very important and usually a little challenging for people. You see, you can’t expect great things when you’re thinking lousy thoughts. So if you have any negative or contradictory thoughts to that big manifestation you’re working towards you MUST change those thoughts. How do I change those thoughts you ask? Well, there are a lot of options here. Choose one that works for you. You can first try and stamp “cancel” on the thought when it comes up. Use this great phrase shared with me by my friend and teacher Andy Dooley. “Stop cancel clear, I have nothing to fear, all my love is here.” You can repeat powerful affirmations, write affirmations daily, read affirmations daily. You can read books that inspire you, surround yourself with people who inspire you. You can do things you love. Redirect your thought to something you love. You can also try the very effective and profound work of Byron Katie which teaches you to inquire on the stressful thought, ask four questions and then turn it around. Look into more ways to change those negative thoughts and change them by any means possible. Your thoughts MUST align with your dreams. So think good thoughts, stay positive and remember those thoughts are creating things in your life.

Step #3. Be grateful for where you are and appreciate every little success.

Soak in gratitude. Bathe in appreciation. Be overwhelmingly grateful for exactly where you are. After all there is a lot to be thankful for isn’t there? You have everything you need at this perfect moment in time. Be grateful for every little success. For the fact that you’re here, you’re breathing, you’re smiling, you’re manifesting. You have created the right and perfect life that you have around you right now. And if you want to enhance that perfect life, you have to be grateful for it. Celebrate every success, appreciate every success. From that parking space to the smell of coffee soak it all in and FEEL grateful.

Step #4. Do what makes you happy and let it flow.

Now, here’s the fun part, sit back, smile and allow it all in. The key to allowing that manifestation into your life right now and for good is to FEEL GOOD! It’s that easy. Be happy. Do what you love. Do every little thing that makes you happy and you’re bound to feel good. When you’re laughing, when you’re smiling, when you could do what you’re doing all day then you’re in the flow. There’s nothing that can stop you. You’re powerful beyond measure. And in that happy state of mind you’re manifestations are moving at the speed of light. You’ve done it. It’s here. Sit back and enjoy it!

Mike Dooley author of the great book Infinite Possibilities says “Thoughts Become Things!” And Wayne Dyer eloquently teaches “you create your thoughts, your thoughts create your intentions, your intentions create your reality.” Get excited, change your thoughts, be grateful and be happy. You’ll find joy in the journey and you’ll be living the life of your dreams!

I will be hosting some virtual and live 2017 Planning Parties.  Email me if you’d like to attend.  steffani@myhappilife.com And I have a 4 part audio series diving deep into this process even more.  The first 5 people to email me will get that $47 program for free.  Tis the season.

Wishing you ALL your dreams come true

Steffani