Yesterday I Broke Down in Tears
steffani

Yesterday I Broke Down in Tears

It was a long day with the kids.

Zoe got mad and threw something that hit me in the face.

That’s what triggered it but not why I cried.

I cried because sometimes it’s really hard to parent my kids.

My story is…

  • They’re explosive.
  • Fighting happens. Often.
  • School gives them a hard time.
  • They never stop moving. Or taking. Or whining.
  • They are very needy.

And that is just exhausting.

That’s the story that took over as I cried in my room.

Self-defeating thoughts included:

“This is too hard.”

“I’m not good at this.”

“They’re so hard to parent.”

“Why can’t this be easier?”

Those were the feelings that swept over me.

But not for long.

I know not to believe and buy into the thoughts that don’t serve me. I can use them as fuel to make positive change. In this instance, to create some boundaries with Zoe around how she treats people.

But I can’t let stressful thoughts spiral out of control. Or they’ll start to define me. They’ll define us.

“It’s the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

Aristotle was right. When we know how to let the thoughts that don’t serve us pass us by, we can find more peace. And love the people closest to us.

This is powerful work we’re up to.

Feel it. Honor it. But then don’t believe it.

Choose the thoughts that empower you and support your growth. They’re always available.

Need help? Join me for the Badass Life Intensive.

I wasn’t always this happy….
steffani

I wasn’t always this happy….

There were plenty of times in my life when I wasn’t happy at all.

There was a time

  • in college when I wasn’t happy…
  • in my adult life when I was living in the city that I wasn’t happy…
  • when I was married and I wasn’t happy…
  • when I had kids and I wasn’t happy…

It goes on and on.

But I learned a little trick.   

What I did each time when I wasn’t happy is this:  I took on my happiness like it was a full-time JOB and it became progressively easier.  

I did everything I could to

  • create a happier life…
  • get into a happier state…
  • have happier days…

so that I could FEEL BETTER.

Once I was feeling better, I was able to become more GRATEFUL.  And being more grateful, helped me enjoy life more.  It all created an upward spiral.

Sometimes it takes work to get happy. It’s not always easy. It’s not always natural.

People think that I have a really easy, happy life. But they don’t understand all the work that came into being this happy.

Creating a Happiness Recipe 

There is one simple tool I use with all of my clients and we often revisit it.  We simply list the things that can be done every day that make us happy.  What can you do to shift easily into a happy state?  What’s on your Happy List?

Here are a few things on my list:

  • Listening to uplifting music
  • Eating dark chocolate
  • Feeling the sun on my skin
  • Exercising
  • Being out in nature
  • Walking my dog
  • Calling a friend
  • Being near water
  • Taking a long shower
  • Listening to an audiobook or podcast
  • Being on a beach
  • Driving my convertible
  • Drinking red wine
  • Visualizing/meditating/breathwork

Everyone’s Happiness Recipe is going to look different. You just have to know what works best for you.  What is it that shifts you into a happier state?

Then, all you have to do is more of that.  DAILY.

And watch the magic unfold in your life.

What’s on your Happy List?    Join me in the Badass Mom Society and share!

http://www.facebook.com/groups/badassmomsociety/

 

 

Today I was SUPERMOM!
steffani

Today I was SUPERMOM!

My Super Power is – Being a Mom!

Today I had some play dates and ran errands with them. I got dinner on the table and watched a fun movie, had a tickle fest, and rode bikes to get ice cream.

And… I yelled at them. (Like screamed my head off) And sent them to their rooms. Together and separately … and said “oh my fucking God” under my breath about 50 times in just a few hours.

You see this is what it’s like to be a parent … and I don’t care if you judge me!

No, I’m not proud of it. And yes I’m always striving to do better. But I also know how NORMAL it is.  I get that we’re ashamed of it. But raising kids is not easy. If you can do it without raising your voice or flying off the handle you need to write a book, raise my children and become President of the world.

Because, seriously, that’s nearly impossible.

If you’re raising young kids. Especially if they’re as active and explosive and bold and fearless as mine, and you yell sometimes … I want you to know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! and on top of that, you’re doing a DAMN GOOD JOB!

Are the kids alive? Are you alive? Great job momma! Seriously. We’re way too hard on ourselves.

I find a lot of relief in finding the balance between accepting myself, forgiving myself and striving to do better. I’m ok with that, and so far so are my kids.

So maybe we can be not proud but also not ashamed. And maybe we can cheer each other on when we’re super moms. Maybe we can teach our kids in the process how to radically accept themselves and that shit’s gonna hit the fan sometimes and how to move through it and laugh and forgive and go out for ice cream.

What I do know is every day is a new day. And every day we are here is precious. No regrets!

Can you relate mommas?

To connect with me and other like-minded moms, join us in the Badass Mom Society on Facebook.

http://www.facebook.com/groups/badassmomsociety/