Why We Need To Work On Ourselves
steffani

Why We Need To Work On Ourselves

We all know we need to work on ourselves. It’s common knowledge but not always common practice. It’s important to understand WHY we need to work on ourselves and WHY we often don’t.  Jim Rohn the famous entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker has a great quote about why we should… 

“Your level of success will rarely exceed your level of personal development, because success is something you attract by the person you become.”

If it’s true that our success will not exceed our personal growth then our success in life is dependent on the work we do on our foundation.  It’s dependent on the energy, attention and focus we put into our inner world and our inner world will create more success and a fulfilling life experience in our outer world.  What’s more important than that?

Just imagine what your life would be like if you had a strong solid foundation. By foundation I mean the 6 pillars of our personal life.  

  • Our health and fitness 
  • Our emotional resilience 
  • Our mindset 
  • Our character traits and values 
  • Our religion or spiritual connection 
  • And who we show up as in the world 


Imagine what life would look like if you were in the best shape of your life physically, mentally and emotionally.  If you felt great in your own skin and loved your body.  If you had all the energy you desired.  Imagine what it would be like if you felt incredibly emotionally resilient.  You never got triggered at small things or even at big things. If you felt like nothing could rattle your cage. If you felt unshakable at your core. If you had the mindset of a monk – calm and peaceful all the time. If you longed for nothing more and your character traits and values supported those desires. Imagine what life would look like if you did all that you said you would do. If your habits were designed to fuel your life in powerful positive ways.  And most importantly, if you were showing up in the world for yourself, for your family, for the people you love as your best and highest self. And you were happy… truly, deeply, unwaveringly happy no matter what your circumstances.

That’s what working on ourselves can do for us. But here’s the thing….

We don’t do it. We certainly don’t do it daily.  We don’t give it the energy, attention and focus it needs.   Why don’t we?  Because we’re waiting. We’re waiting until things get worse. We’re waiting until the shit hits the fan so to speak.  Until tragedy strikes. Until things get really, really hard. Until we just can’t bear it anymore.  

Well guess what? Life is always going to throw us challenges. It’s always really hard. Tragedy will strike and we won’t be ready for it.  We need to work on ourselves when things are good. We need to do the inner work DAILY so we can stay ahead of the game. So we can be prepared for the challenges and the curveballs that life can and will throw our way.  

We all want a life that’s successful and fulfilling.  We have to do the work now.  We can’t wait for tragedy to strike or for things to be perfect.  We have the power to shape our outer world when we focus on our inner world.  

Isn’t that dream life worth it?  All that you pictured you can have when you work on your solid foundation, isn’t that juicy enough?  It should be.  We need to work on ourselves like our life depends on it.  Because it does.  And we deserve it.  And our family deserves it. 

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living a heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.” 

― L.R. Knost

We do the work on ourselves so we can be our best selves.  And it’s so worth it.  

How I Apply the Magic Formula of Determination + Accountability
steffani

How I Apply the Magic Formula of Determination + Accountability

Today’s situation… I had workout clothes on since 7 am, trying desperately to squeeze in a workout ALL day. I reached out to 15-20 (literally) babysitters to watch the kids so John and I could go out to dinner. I juggled work, play, kids, dog, lunch, parks, cousins, sugar highs, tired kids, etc. At one point I couldn’t  remember the last time I ate.  This is a VERY typical Saturday. Or any day. 

One thing I’ve learned in my journey of personal growth and expansion is… 

Determination + Accountability = Magic formula 

With determination I can get my workouts in. I am ALWAYS ALWAYS finding ways to hold myself accountable or have others hold me accountable. In this case I have an accountability group that I told I would workout hard 5 times this week. So now I HAVE to workout today. I already missed one day. Tomorrow is no guarantee. I need the drive and I need the accountability. So I squeezed in a workout: 25 minutes of running, jump squats and push-ups while running an errand. Perfection. 

AND….

I found a sitter on attempt number 21 about an hour before our dinner reservation. 

I. Was. Determined. And I was held accountable by that same group. I told them I would plan a fun date night by the end of the week.  I feel Iike these 2 things in combination are highly underrated.  I could have given up on sitter request number 8 or when dinner plans were only 2 hours away but I didn’t.  I kept texting John and our friends that I was “getting closer”. 

Listen, I want to be held accountable for things that will move my life forward. I’ve danced around going on weekly date nights for years. I said I wanted to but didn’t do it. I tried for a while but then let stuff with the kids get in the way. But I know all too well how much it enhances our relationship. 

So excuses be gone.  I want YOU to hold me accountable for a weekly date night. And we can all witness as my relationship improves. Who’s with me? Want in?

Determination + Accountability = Magic

Do You Allow Others to Determine Your Mood?
steffani

Do You Allow Others to Determine Your Mood?

When you allow the insignificant actions of other people to determine your mood, you lose.  You give your power away.  I hear from my clients on a daily basis that “someone” threw their day off.

 

“My Mom is so passive aggressive.” 

“My husband is so negative.” 

“My kids’ words are so hurtful.” 

“My sister is so judgmental.” 


And then we shrink.  We forget our power and we fall back into old patterns and behavior.  And guess what……??? We do exactly what we’re shaming them for doing.  We act passive aggressively. We get negative and judgmental.  We’re hurtful with our words about them. We’re being a smaller version of ourselves. And we’re also feeling superior and kind of like a victim and the hero all at once.  Our ego is in heaven.  But it’s not enough just to have this insight and hope we’ll do better next time.  Hope is not a plan.

We need to create new patterns and behaviors. 

We need to create a new personality. One that won’t get rattled by the insignificant words or actions from someone else.  That new personality can be unshakeable.  Only then can we design a new reality.  One that will lead to our dream life.

We think it’s easy, but it’s not.  It takes work.  It takes new tools.  It takes accountability.  These new patterns and behaviors don’t make themselves.  We are continuously tested and pushed. But listen, isn’t this life worth it?  

The work pays off when we find more inner peace.  When we have more joy-filled days.  When we don’t get triggered, we control our reactions and all of that leads to more happy moments and special memories.  

If we don’t do the work we’re missing out.  Life is too short to live it in judgment of other people.  There’s a better way.  

Where are YOU giving away your power?