When Dreams Come True We Create a New Normal
steffani

When Dreams Come True We Create a New Normal

When dreams come true . . . .

I had a big revelation yesterday about the way we adjust our lives to suit our dreams.

I spent the day at Mindvalley.   An amazing company based in Kuala Lumpur that I’ve always dreamed of visiting.  And now I know people there, and I was hired to come teach a program to their team.   Years ago this wouldn’t even have been on my radar.   I would have never even dreamed I’d be here hanging out and teaching a program.

As I sat there, in Vishen Lashinis office I had a moment.   I DREAMED of being here.  And now I’m here.   This should be a big deal.   But it’s not anymore.

It’s amazing how we evolve and suddenly what once were dreams now become amazingly normal.   Our “new normal”.   We adjust and shift and BAM, new normal.  We launch a rocket of desire, then it happens, new normal.

Check out this quick little video to hear details . . . .

What has become your new normal?

Let’s celebrate these new normals together.

Loving this life and travel,
Steffani
How to recover from an EPIC mom fail …
steffani

How to recover from an EPIC mom fail …

Hello friends,

Recently I booked a special trip with my 8 year old son Jack.  We were going to Cancun, Mexico to meet up with friends of mine and help on a service trip.  We were spending 3 days helping to support a Dad with 3 boys and rebuild their house and their lives.

We were SO excited.  Jack was excited to finally join me on some of my favorite work.  And I was excited for Jack to meet some of the most inspiring people in my life and some of my favorite friends.  For him to be in that energy was a dream come true for me.

I woke up at 5 am, bags were packed, grabbed our passports and O! M! G!   My sons passport was expired!!!!!!

Holy SHIT!

Worst Mom EVER.
Worst day EVER.

Have you ever had one of those epic mom fails?  Probably not as big as this one.  This makes missing Zoe’s first recital because you got the day wrong look like peanuts.  Or leaving the hockey equipment at home when you arrive at an away game look like a slight oversight.  Totally forgivable.

This. THIS was a fail of EPIC proportion.

At first I was just going to stay home with him.  Forget the trip all together. How could I possibly go WITHOUT him?  This was planned for US, not just me.  But I was bringing important equipment down for the experience.  More people shouldn’t have to suffer from my fail.

As the reality of the situation hit me I started to shut down.  I went to the airport, found the nearest bathroom and wept.

Why is this happening?
Did I make the right decision?
How could I let this happen?
Will he ever forgive me?
Will my husband ever forgive me?
How can I recover from this?

I wiped my tears, settled down on my flight and made a plan.

Here’s how I chose to recover from this EPIC Mom Fail:

#1.  Stay in the present moment. 
Thinking about what SHOULD have been or could have been was not healthy.  I had to try and stay in the present moment.

#2. Close your eyes and forgive. 
Beating myself up about it wouldn’t help anyone.  It would only make me frustrated, upset and irritable.

#3. Let it go and TRUST the Universe has a bigger plan. 
Elsa is a genius.  When I let it go I started to see why this was meant to be.  As the days unfolded I realized how much more I could do with Jack not there.  It didn’t make up for the missed experience with him but it did profoundly impact these boys lives in a much bigger way than I could have with Jack along.

#4. Safeguard your happiness.
When I first arrived, even with this plan, I was sulking.  All I could do was look around and think about how much better it would be with Jack there.  How much fun he would have.  How it would impact him.  I had to shake it off and do things to bring myself joy.  A walk on the beach.  Morning yoga.  Laughing with friends.  A margarita the size of my head.  Whatever it takes.  Focus on your happiness because it’s your JOB and your job only.  No one else will.

#5.  Make a new plan. 
I talked with Jack and asked him “what can I do to make this up to you?”  We had an overnight in the city, he got a hamster (ewwww, major sacrifice) and there was a visit to Chuckie Cheese (even bigger sacrifice!!!!)  Jack forgave me.  And we’re excited to plan another trip to go on together.

I hope you don’t ever have a Mom fail of epic proportion.  But if you do follow these steps and you’ll hopefully get on the other side of it a little faster.

Share with me, what was YOUR epic Mom fail? Because we’re all in this together and I could use the camaraderie. 🙂

Loving this life, fails and all,
Steffani

Tips for Easy Travel with Kids
steffani

Tips for Easy Travel with Kids

Hahahaha.  Ok so it’s not actually possible to travel with kids peacefully and easily.  (But I do have a great tip to get you closer to it…)

When you travel with a 5 year old and an 8 year old or any age kids for that matter, there can and will be a LOT of ups and downs.

I tend to have temporary amnesia every time we travel.  I forget any of the chaos and mayhem and only remember the beauty and bliss.  Sort of like childbirth.  You forget how painful it is until you have another child.  It’s a love-to-travel coping mechanism.

I enter into every vacation thinking it will be amazing.  Lots of quality time with the kids.  A beautiful romantic connection with my husband.  More fun than you can ever imagine.  Perfect weather.  Sunny beach days.  Great food.  Interesting new friends.  I could go on and on.  I’m very optimistic.  I always set some positive intentions.  (A powerful practice, the alternative does not end well, trust me…)

We just returned from Mexico and this trip was no different.  Booked a beautiful room at our favorite hotel, warm sunny weather.  What could go wrong?!

Well as you know when you’re traveling with kids anything and everything can go wrong.  The kids might whine and fight.  A LOT.  The taxi might take FOREVER.  You might get booked into the wrong room and have to move.  Your son could get sick and you could spend 3 hours in the ER on day 2.  Only to see him suffering for the next 4 days until you leave.

Yea.  We’ve all been there.  Being away from home, and traveling always sounds more glamorous than it is.  And we as humans tend to focus on the negative.  It’s somehow written in our DNA.  The first thing we do is tell the dramatic tale of how Jack got sick and it ruined our vacation.  We feel more comfortable sharing the hardships than the highlights.

Well I’m not buying into the bullshit rule that says that you have to share the drama.  Or even the reality.  I will find a way to highlight what went WELL.  I’ll share the triumphs, the laughter, the sweet moments we shared.  All the amazing memories we created.

We had the best New Year’s Eve we’ve ever had as a family.
Stumbled upon a fun show and beach dance party.
My daughter and I had a late night fun adventure on the beach.
When the kids went to sleep we got to ring in the New Year, just the 2 of us.  Watched some fireworks over the ocean. Romance – check.

On New Year’s day we had a late night beach fire ceremony.  As a family we wrote down things that no longer served us, that we’d like to leave in 2016.  Jack being sick was on all our lists.  And things we wanted to create in 2017.  I loved reading their lists.  What beautiful intentions these kids can set.  Lighting the list on fire in a homemade fire pit and then shouting our intentions to the wind and ending with a family Hakka ceremony.  Now how can I let that get overshadowed by a few bumps in the road.

It’s all about where you put your focus.  Do you focus on what went wrong, the fighting, the sickness, the delays.  Or what went right, the morning breakfast buffet with food we all loved, the quiet time by the pool, the Zoomba water aerobics, the jogs on the beach with my love.  Backflips in the pool.  The kindness of strangers.  New friends from England.  Feeding the fish in the pond and counting 16 turtles, the swim up bar where the kids ordered hourly chocolate smoothies.  The grilled lobster tail for dinner.  Reading a full book cover to cover.  Jet skiing, beach walking, swimming in every pool on the grounds.

Honestly when you focus on what went RIGHT, on all the GOOD.  What is there to complain about?  Life happens.  How do you choose to respond to it?

As we got in the taxi to the airport I asked my kids to tell me their 3 favorite moments of the vacation.  We came up with 25, at least.

We can sit and reflect on the stress and the problems.  And create a story of a nightmare vacation, where things went wrong and we may never go back.

OR we can focus on all the moments of beauty and connection.  The quality time that wouldn’t have happened at home.  The new experiences that expanded our horizons.  The growth and the laughter.  The smiles and the joy we shared.  The swimming and the dancing and falling asleep in each other’s arms.  That’s what I’ll focus on.  And soon we’ll forget that Jack got sick.  I might remember how nice the doctors were and how taken care of we felt.  It won’t be a bad memory.  But a good one.  More of that please.

So here’s how to travel easily and peacefully with your kids.  Focus only on the easy parts.  Focus only on the peace not the stress.  There are as many moments of those when you look for them.  And the more you look for them the more you’ll create them.  And you’ll head into blissful amnesia before your next trip.

Oh the places you will go… Where will you go next?

Loving this life and travel,
Steffani

PS:   My new Happi Mom Squad started YESTERDAY.  There is 1 space still available for this 6 month long mastermind.  If you’re ready, really ready to focus on your happiness so you can raise happiness, email me and join us!