Core Values #2: Personal Power
steffani

Core Values #2: Personal Power

I hope you saw my post yesterday introducing core values and how important they are when it comes to living our best lives.  Today I want to share my second core value with you and how I EMBODY and show up with these core values.  Yesterday I talked about radical acceptance.  If that’s not a concept you get yet, check out that post.  Today I want to talk about something totally different…

Core Value #2…. Personal Power

Four years ago I had a spiritual awakening.  To make a long story very short it was basically a dream, or some kind of divine guidance, that told me I already had it all.  In so many words it said the following….

You already are all you need to be.
You already have it all.
You are all you desire to be.
You’re gifted.
You’re talented.
You are light.
You are love.
You are energy.
You are infinite.
You are everything.
You have the power within you to move mountains.
You can and you will manifest everything you’ve ever wanted.
Just by being you, you are powerful, beyond measure. 

 

I woke up with this KNOWINGNESS.  With what felt like a secret and with an awakening like “Oh yea….that’s right. I am the light.  I just forgot for a while.” With that spiritual awakening fresh in my awareness, I started acting differently.  I started walking around in my own power. I started showing up as ALL THAT I AM. I started unapologetically loving my life and doing what I love.  In that order.

I really started showing up more for myself first, and my family, social situations and on social media. Everyone started to notice.  They thought I had re-branded or that I was on medication or something. Really! Like something is wrong with people who are owning their shit – people who are standing in their power with confidence and certainty.  I was high on my own supply – on my personal power supply. 

 

AND… personal power for me has a flip side. 

core values

It’s not just about owning our own personal power and light.  (Because, PS and DUH, this isn’t reserved only for me, OBVIOUSLY you are the light too.) It’s also about owning our shit.  It’s taking 100% responsibility for EVERYTHING, even our shortcomings, our character defects, our fears and limiting beliefs, the way we play small, our triggers and our meanness.  ALL OF IT. 

 

Personal power to me means owning it ALL: the good, the bad, the ugly and the conscious and enlightened parts of us. 

 

So how does personal power help me show up in life?  Showing up and embodying our core values is the next step in our evolution.  And for me, personal power shows up as COMMITMENT. Committing to being my true authentic self.  Committing to showing up as my BEST self. Committing to owning my personal power and BEING that in life.  Committing to owning my shit and working on that in life. Commitment is the showing up word. 

 

Do you feel like you own your personal power?  Can you kick it up a notch?  I know I can. We are ALL powerful beyond measure! 

 

Mom, You don’t have a behavior problem
steffani

Mom, You don’t have a behavior problem

You don’t have a behavior problem. Listen. I know it feels that way. I know it looks and sounds like the one thing you need is for your son or daughter to “behave”. But I promise you, you don’t have a behavior problem.

You don’t have a homework problem.

Or a sibling fighting too much problem.

Or even a backtalk problem.

Yea. From an outside point of view, I see how it can look that way. And how it might feel that way to you. But that’s not the problem. Your kid’s behavior actually has nothing to do with it. It can feel that way. Oh boy, can it feel that way.  It’s so frustrating. It’s so hard. It’s so messy. It can raise our stress level from 1-10 instantly. But I promise you. It’s not your kids’ behavior that’s the problem.

The problem is you. Bottom line is… you haven’t done the work.

I know that sounds harsh but hear me out. When we don’t work on our foundation, on feeling mentally, emotionally and physically strong and when we don’t have our thoughts mastered, our feelings on point and our triggers in check, then we haven’t done all we can do to show up in the world as the best parent we can be.

It’s not their fault. It’s ours. Our kids respond to our behavior and their behavior is a language.  Am I saying that when our kids explode and are whiny and needy and talkback that it’s our fault? Yes. I’m saying that and MORE. The women that I work with prove one major thing to be true:

When we do the inner work and build a strong, solid foundation, we find the inner peace. The presence. The JOY.

And guess what? No one else changed. Just us.

When we do the work on US, we change our perspective and therefore our reality. When we do the work we can then build anything we want on that solid foundation. We get strong. And aware. And proactive. We start consciously creating a life we really truly wholeheartedly love.

It’s not pretty. It takes work. It’s ugly at first. It’s messy in the middle. But it’s gorgeous at the end. And in the end, we see our kid’s behavior in a completely different light. It’s just a language. Telling us what we need to work on.

Are you ready to do the work? Message me

Why Moms Need to Travel …
steffani

Why Moms Need to Travel …

I know this will ruffle some feathers. We’ve all witnessed the soccer field conversations where Moms wear their loyalty like a badge of honor and try and one-up each other about who has gone longer without leaving their kids.  I hate that game, I always lose instantly. I love to travel alone.  And I have two young kids.  So I’ve heard it all.

The judgments.  “How can you leave for that long? Kids need their Mommy”. (Said by my Mom MANY times by the way.)

The passive aggressive comments. “Oh, I could never leave my kids.  I would just miss them too much.” (Oh and I apparently am not as loving is that what you mean?)

And the Moms who long for it.  “God I would love to do that.  Teach me how.”

I’m not here to convert anyone.  Or tell anyone how they should parent.  I’m just here to share my beliefs and to inspire the few who might be longing for more to take action on that desire and book a trip.

I believe that Moms should travel.  IF they’re longing for it.   IF it interests them. IF there are things that they’re really excited about and places they’re dying to visit.

Here’s why I travel…..

I travel to be a better person. 

I mainly travel to conferences and personal growth experiences.  So I mean that very literally. But even when I’ve traveled just purely for pleasure I feel like I grow as a person and as a Mom.

I travel to have time to deeply look at my life.

When I’m away I have new mental clarity for the vision I have for my life.  I always end up texting my husband some deep, meaningful messages filled with gratitude and big dreams and he always comments….”  you’re in your travel state of mind.” He’s right. Because when I’m away and not dealing with all the logistics of parenting I have room to dream.

I travel to sleep through the night without getting up ONCE.

Not much to explain here.  If you have kids….you get it.

I travel to explore new cultures and have new experiences.

My life is enhanced by new experiences and I don’t consider a new store opening or a new movie coming out a NEW experience.

I travel to meet new people who are very different from me.

I have a friend named Juraj from Slovakia. He’s the smartest man I’ve ever know. And really positive. Really happy. Really healthy. We just click. I met him and his amazing girlfriend Jana at a conference years ago.  It’s one of the most beautiful friendships I’ve ever had. We’ve traveled together. My kids adore them. I couldn’t imagine my life without friends like this.  And I feel like I can only meet them when I travel.

I travel to allow my husband the chance to be fully in charge.

When we were new parents, we had a therapist tell us once. “Let your husband have one day a week by himself with your son.” It was the best advice we could have been given as new parents.  It really helped me to let go, and him to step up.  When I travel, I arrange A LOT, spreadsheets, sitters, rides to hockey games.  But my husband also has to do a LOT without me. And that is a good thing.

I travel to be more grateful. 

When I’m away, I long for what I have.  I’m always SO EXCITED to come home. I can’t wait to tackle my kids and fill their bodies with kisses. I can’t wait to tackle my husband and fill him with kisses. I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed and drive my car and take a steam shower.  I love my life and am even MORE grateful for it when I come home from any length trip.

Mainly I travel to come back a new ME.    

A new and improved version of myself. Whether it’s an overnight in the city with my girlfriends or 9 days in Kuala Lumpur to teach a program, I return anew. How can I not? New experiences = New reality.

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder.  I say distance makes me a more patient, tolerant and loving mom.  It helps me have more reverence for this life I’ve created.  Even my son’s bedwetting, even my daughter’s potty mouth, even my Mom’s judgmental comments about my travels. I embrace life in a different way when I get home. And that alone makes it all so worth it.

Now, who wants to travel with me?

Steffani