Stay Sane Over the Holidays
steffani

Stay Sane Over the Holidays

I hope you’re finding a LOT of peace and ease these days especially with the holidays approaching.  Here in the U.S., we have Thanksgiving SOON and that can always bring up some sticky, heightened drama, high anxiety, and a lot of other negative emotions and experiences.  Not exactly what you want to experience during the holidays. This should be a time to celebrate life and be present with your family, right? Well, it doesn’t always go that way.  

Check out this FB Live I did recently where I share 3 key shifts that will help you have a better holiday experience.  

If you want the cliff notes version here it is: (but there are a lot of great questions and some gems in the video, check it out if you have time.) 

With these heightened emotions and lots of expectations, we can feel personally injured during the holidays.  We tend to ‘should’ all over people. They ‘should’ want to be here. My Mom ‘should’ be more organized. My sister in law ‘should’ have told me in advance.  Etc. Etc.  

I had a major adjustment to our Thanksgiving plans just 2 days ago.  And through that experience, I realized I had to use all my personal growth tools to help me out of it.  Here’s what I came up with.  

#1.  Don’t take anything personally and don’t let any negative stories about yourself or others spiral out of control.  

#2.  Release your unreasonable expectations around what the holidays should look like and the MEANING you choose to place on them.  

#3.  Have radical acceptance for what IS showing up. 

It’s not the circumstance that brings you stress it’s your thoughts that the circumstances should be different then they are.  

Most importantly what we really need to do is come from a place of love.  Love all those around us. And show up as our best selves. When you allow all this in, you’ll be present, you’ll be more patient and you’ll find a lot more joy.  

For practical ways how you can do this watch this video training.  I have a lot to share on the ‘meaning’ we chose to place on things and how we can change the meaning.  

You are ridiculously in charge of your inner peace.  You are ridiculously in charge of your emotional well being.  You are ridiculously in charge of your holidays. Take charge now. 

Keep your eye out for my first ever Black Friday sale for your soul. 🙂 

Grateful for you!

It’s ok to cry.
steffani

It’s ok to cry.

I hope you know, it’s ok to cry.  Actually, I think it’s crucial. We often hold back our tears and see them as a weakness.  I learned years ago when I first started out on this personal growth journey that it’s a strength.  

 

I’ll never forget the women sitting next to me in a circle who looked at my tears and said: “I wish I could feel like you do,”  That’s when it hit me that it’s ok to cry. It’s ok to feel. It’s not just ok it’s necessary for us to move through our feelings and get to the other side of them.  

 

Now, I’m not ashamed to cry.  

 

I cry every day….

 

I don’t cry every day out of sadness or anger or upset.  Sure I have as many challenges as anyone else in this life.  I have stresses and frustrations and family members who are ill.  But still, that’s not why I cry.

 

Every day I cry for a different reason. 

 

I cry because this life is pure magic.

I cry out of gratitude for every breath.

I cry for beauty.

I cry at art.

I cry when I see moments of kindness.

I cry when I hear beautiful music.

I cry when I sing.

I cry when I reflect on life in the shower.

I cry when I say goodbye to a friend.

I cried eating a blueberry muffin at Starbucks once.  It was a really really good muffin! 

I cry at commercials.

I cry watching my kids sleep.

I cry when I travel – when I fly through the air and look out the window. 

I cry when I walk into a church.

 

My husband jokes that I cry at mall openings.  I have never cried at a mall opening. But I have cried at the opening of the Olympics.  And the closing ceremonies. And my son’s soccer game yesterday.

 

Basically, I cry when I feel connected.  I cry when I FEEL this life. When I feel alive. 

 

Unapologetically I cry.  And I look forward to the moments in my day, those vulnerable, beautiful, tear-filled moments where my heart feels so full I can hardly breathe. When I sip air in through my nose and my eyes well up with tears only to be sucked back in moments later when I compose myself, it is a moment of sheer bliss.  A moment of REAL life. To feel alive. And grateful. And connected. 

 

I’ve never counted how many times I’ve cried in a day.  But I might start now. And I invite you to start with me.  Can we FEEL alive and connected 2 times, 5 times,10 times a day?  I’m willing to try.

 

This is LIFE.  This is really living. 

 

My wish for you is that you feel all your feelings today.  All the joy and all the sorrow. All the beauty and the pain.  I hope you feel it and move through it. If I can support you in any way, I’m here.  Let’s cry together. 

 

To join me on this journey start by taking this Best Life Quiz to discover what’s holding you back from living a life you wholeheartedly love and one you FEEL every day.  

 

The Key to Body Confidence
steffani

The Key to Body Confidence

I’ll just get right to it.

Don’t compare your 47 with other people’s 27. 
Don’t compare your 47 to your 27 either.

What I mean by that is, the key to having body confidence is loving and accepting your body AS IT IS, RIGHT NOW. In all its’ glory and imperfection. With all its’ lumps and bumps and wrinkles.

I think we get down on our bodies because we’re in constant comparison. With others AND ourselves.

What used to work for me 20 years ago doesn’t work for me anymore. What I could do 20 years ago I can’t do anymore.

And that’s OK. It sure should be ok, it’s been 20 years. And a 47-year-old body that’s had 2 kids should look different than a 27-year-old body. It’s just a fact.

Now I need to be careful with that. I don’t need to accept my body looking worse than I want it to. I don’t need to listen to the bullshit rules out there, like that we gain weight as we get older or that we get weaker or lose flexibility. I don’t need to buy into all that. I just need to fully accept the body that I have in this moment.

At OTF today we ran a PR 1 mile. When I heard we were doing that I got a little nervous. I had flashbacks to my days running races and working with a running coach. I’ve never been a ‘runner’ or very fast, but I used to work at it and now I don’t. It hurts. For me running a fast mile feels like a near-death experience.

But I ran one today. 20 years ago my fastest mile was a 6.40. And wow. I was so proud of that. Holy shit. That was REALLY fast for ME.

Today I thought I’d push myself and try and run as fast as possible. Could I run a 7.30? Maybe an 8:30? All I knew was that I would run as fast for 1 mile as my legs and heart could carry me.

I ran an 8.05. And wow. I was SO proud of that. Holy shit. That was really fast for 47 year old me.

No judgment. No comparison. Just radical acceptance. I have no idea what other people ran it in. I really don’t care. I never even think to look.

Because for me the key to body acceptance is not comparing myself to anyone else or to a younger version of myself.

This is what my body can do NOW. This is how hard I work to constantly improve it. This is why I’m so proud of THIS body.

Now here come the Big Questions/ Bold Answers ladies…..

Do you wish you had more body confidence?
What contributes to your body confidence?
And can you teach me how to take a better selfie? 😆