Just Say No
steffani

Just Say No

A big Ah Ha hit me years ago: In order to live and love even bigger, I may need to let go of some things that I love.

It’s easy to let go of things that don’t serve you. Things that you hate. That feel awful. But it’s hard to let go of things that you love. That DO serve you in some way. That are rewarding. But ahhh, that’s the catch.

Sometimes those things keep you too comfortable. They help you settle for a life that’s not ALL THAT. A life that you like but don’t love. That’s good but not great. It’s tricky.

For me getting comfortable held me back. Comfort can kill a dream for sure. What I realized was letting go of some things that I love helped me get MORE. It helped me move from Steffani 1.0 to Steffani 2.0.

I let go of a job that I loved to start my own coaching business. I let go of a house in the city that I loved to move into our dream home in the burbs. And now I say NO to things that I love because what used to satisfy and delight Steffani 1.0 doesn’t work any longer.

I’ve said no to speaking gigs. And no to travel. And no to book clubs and invitations and vacays and volunteer ops. Because if they’re not aligned with the newest version of me I’m doing myself a disservice. I’m fueling Steffani 1.0 while trying to elevate my life. That doesn’t work.

It’s not easy to say no. Especially to things you love. But I’m getting better at it. The newest version of me deserves it.

What do you need to say no to?  

If you are looking for guidance and others who are on the same quest as you, join my group on Facebook.

 

Find Your Dreams
steffani

Find Your Dreams

I found my dreams today. 😊👍🏻❤ A box from my meditation area that I haven’t opened in 5 years. It had my vision boards and Buddha’s and candles and letters and angel cards and a tree of wishes and dreams. What a find!! 😊👏🏻❤😍

It’s amazing to look back at all this. And think about all that I have now that I started creating back then.

  • My business.
  • My book.
  • The school and teachers my kids have.
  • This house.
  • Our lake house.
  • My tribe of friends from around the world.
  • Luxury tropical vacations.
  • An all-expense paid trip to Kuala Lumpur.
  • Teaching in the Hall of Awesomeness at Mindvalley.
  • A Lifeclass with Oprah and Dr Shefali.
  • The new community I live in.
  • Getting paid to attend Afest and Genius Network.
  • My new besties.
  • The health and fitness of my dreams.
  • Romantic trips with John.
  • Fun epic new experiences.

It’s all in here. And I’m living IT ALL.

I’ve been studying this process of consciously creating my dreams for almost 30 years. It clearly works. I’ve been teaching it for 25 years. Because it works!

It doesn’t happen overnight. You have to do the f’ing work. Take ruthless daily action. Then it looks like it happens overnight. 😆😊 And people think you’re lucky. Or spoiled. Or like someone handed it to you on a silver platter.  It wasn’t….

I earned it. I created it. So can you.

If you have a dream. I can help you get there. Contact me. 😊👍🏻😍

Why Workshops DON’T Work and What Does
steffani

Why Workshops DON’T Work and What Does

I’m a personal growth JUNKIE. 

If I could actually add up all the workshops, conferences, speakers and retreats I’ve been to over the course of my life, you’d be concerned.  And you should be.

There’s no end to the madness.  I just attended what feels like my 800th  workshop this past weekend.

I sat, in a hotel banquet room, with 33 other participants for fourteen hours a day for five straight days.

We got very little sleep.  No sunlight.  Only hotel food.  And little to no exercise.

This event was a struggle for me.

I couldn’t sit still.  I found myself constantly planning my next brief escape.  Looking for any excuse to get out of the room.  To go the bathroom.  To refill my water.  To get some coffee.  (I don’t even drink coffee) To scour the hotel for dark chocolate.

I’ve been attending events like this for the last 25 years.  MANY per year.  All over the world. 

And I’m setting a declaration right now that this will be my LAST.    

Sure these events serve a purpose.  And 25 years ago I LOVED every minute of them.  I was happy to sit in that banquet room.  To meet other like-minded people.  To soak up the wisdom of some guru or follow some format and structure to help me in some area of my life.

Do they work?  Yes….
Is there a better way?  HELL YES!

What I realized at this event is that I now crave something different.

Of course, I’ll always be learning.  I’ll never stay stagnant and stop growing.  So there will be events I attend in the future.

But the events I’ll go to have to be different.

Here are some things they MUST have:

A beautiful atmosphere.
Excellent people.
Healthy food.
Time for exercise.
Time for reflection.
Unique processes.
Tons of value.
Teachers I admire.  And who are living a truly inspiring life.
An element of giving back.
Continued engagement.
Accountability.
Epic experiences.
And dark chocolate. 

Honestly, if an event doesn’t have all of these things I’m not going.

And I vow to you now that any events I host going forward will contain all of this and more.

Life is too short to spend more than a few hours in a hotel banquet room.

Our time here is SO precious.

When I look back over all the workshops I attended over the years, the most memorable ones were NOT spent in hotel banquet room all day long.  It’s just not conducive.

Who learns that way?

I know I don’t.  I learn from experience.  From connection.  From conversation. 

Not from a multitude of information being thrown at me under forced air vents and fluorescent lighting, all while I struggle to stay awake.

When I did attend events like that the magic of the event usually happened in the hallway.  Or over dinner.  Or from the friendships that were formed along the way.

I think it’s time we raised our standards.  And appealed to ALL learning types.  Why not portray the life we’re actually promising?

And another ‘problem’ with these events is they don’t create change.

A one-time event whether it’s a few hours or 5 days doesn’t create change if there aren’t elements in place to create that change.  For me, that element has to be continued engagement and accountability.  If there’s no one to check in with me to see if I’m doing all that was taught to me, will I actually do it?  Most likely not.

I’ll get back home and life will happen and I won’t have time to implement it all. 

I can tell you from decades of experience as an attendee and from hosting dozens of my own events.

There’s a better way. 

I encourage you to set some of your own guidelines for events you’ll attend in the future.  What are some of your MUST haves?

A great atmosphere?
Speakers of high integrity?
Quality food?
Uplifting people?
A beautiful atmosphere?
An element of freedom?
Accountability?
Dark chocolate?

Define what it is for YOU.  Because YOU are what matters.  No amount of suffering through an experience that’s not custom designed for you will serve you. 

next level life mastermindIf you ARE looking for a quality experience that has all the elements that I mentioned above and more then I invite you to apply for my Next Level Life Mastermind.

This is not a one-off event. (Because those don’t work) It’s a 6-month long accountability program that has 2 luxury retreats and more transformation than would ever imagine possible.  It’s the coaching, the community and the accountability you’ll need to take your life to the next level.  If it feels like a hell yes… apply here.

To your BEST life,
Steffani