What Do You Want To Be Known For?
stefadmin

What Do You Want To Be Known For?

Many years ago (23 to be exact) I was living in the city and I met these Irish kids who moved in across the street from me for the summer.

Eighteen of them moved into a 3 bedroom apartment! It was close quarters obviously but they all got along. They were loving and kind to each other. They were always checking in and supporting each other. They had a sense of compassion that I had never seen before.

I fell in love with each and every one of them. I liked them. I liked the way they lived their lives. I liked the way they lead with their hearts.

I hired many of them to work for me and helped others find jobs. My brother and I gave them extra furniture and pots and pans that we didn’t need. They became like family. Every year for about 5 years they would send more Irish over to us and I would hire them, help them find apartments, and take care of them like they were my own kids.

They made me a better person by being such good people.

I was reflecting recently after one of the Irish girls was in town with her Mom about why that time in my life was so special. I think they helped me to shape the person I wanted to become and through their kindness I was even more kind. Through their love I was more loving. Through their compassion I was more compassionate and through their grace I learned grace. They were the best friends I’ve ever known. They taught me friendship on another level that most Americans don’t ever get to experience.

Last night I was watching the last episode of a show I LOVED called Better Things and the daughter said this to the Mom.

“You’re nice. You’re a good person. You make people feel comfortable. You help people. I like you. I like the way you live your life.”

And I cried.

That’s what I want to be known for: for being nice, for being a good person, for making people feel good, for helping and for living my life true to those values.

What do you want to be known for? #soulhappy

Why PRAYING Doesn’t Work
stefadmin

Why PRAYING Doesn’t Work

The difference between a prayer and a manifestation.

I have been exploring my spirituality for decades.  I think we all have, in one form or another.  Through loss and through life, we are always feeling into what this life experience is and what’s underneath it all.  What is the PURPOSE of life?  Why are we here? 

I’ve been exploring it, but I have always KNOWN it.  I always felt it – that deeper calling, that resonance, that BELIEF and that grace. 

Even as a kid I knew there was something bigger than me that was guiding me forward.  In the 70’s and 80’s we called it ESP.  I felt and I knew I had whatever that was.  Extra Sensory Perception – or a 6th sense – intuition – an ability to tap into another dimension.  I feel it is available to everyone.  It’s just that some of us are more open to it and have a more heightened awareness of it. 

With this knowingness life feels easier at times and a lot harder at times.  Sometimes it’s comforting.  Sometimes it’s confrontational.  Sometimes it’s weird and sometimes it’s wonderful.  But it was always, ALWAYS there to pull me forward and to help me in the darkest of times.  Times like when my sister died, when my Dad left, when the divorce was final, when I saw how broken our family was and when I took that leap out into the real world without a safety net.  There was always a power greater than me that I could lean on. 

I never really prayed except for one time when my sister was in a coma.  I prayed for her to stay here and to get better.  I prayed for her not to die.  When she did die,  I never prayed again.  It never felt right to me.  It felt like I was begging and pleading for something that was beyond my control. I was.


difference between prayer and manifestationI remember when things shifted from praying, or not praying into placing orders.  I was in college, getting my degree in theater, and I decided I wanted a certain part in a play.  I wanted it really badly but the odds were stacked against me.  There was a senior girl who always got the leads.  But I had such a strong desire so I asked for it.  I didn’t pray for it.  I announced it.  It was more of a “I will have this!” and not a “please can I have this.”  I demanded it.  I expected it.  I declared it. I wasn’t going to back down from it.  I auditioned with a KNOWINGNESS that I was getting that part.  During the audition I was pretending I was playing the part on stage.  I wasn’t auditioning for it.  I was BEING it. 

And I got it.  I didn’t even need to look at the sheet of paper with the parts announced.  I knew it.  With every fiber of my being I knew it. 

This was a different type of prayer.  Today I know it was a manifestation and I can see how and why it was so effective. 

I decided that I wanted it.  I knew I could have it.  I declared it. I acted as if it already happened.  I was BEING it, before I even got it.  I expected it, beyond a shadow of a doubt.  I KNEW it was mine.  And…. I let it go.  I never sat for a moment in the possibility that I wouldn’t have it but I also let go of any attachment to it.  I ALLOWED it in through my detachment. 

This is how manifesting works.  It is different from a prayer for me, it’s a knowingness, an expectation and a decision.  We align with it and allow it in and it’s ours.   

If you want help with manifesting stay tuned for a chance to jump in on the new round of my group coaching program.

Why We Need To Work On Ourselves
steffani

Why We Need To Work On Ourselves

We all know we need to work on ourselves. It’s common knowledge but not always common practice. It’s important to understand WHY we need to work on ourselves and WHY we often don’t.  Jim Rohn the famous entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker has a great quote about why we should… 

“Your level of success will rarely exceed your level of personal development, because success is something you attract by the person you become.”

If it’s true that our success will not exceed our personal growth then our success in life is dependent on the work we do on our foundation.  It’s dependent on the energy, attention and focus we put into our inner world and our inner world will create more success and a fulfilling life experience in our outer world.  What’s more important than that?

Just imagine what your life would be like if you had a strong solid foundation. By foundation I mean the 6 pillars of our personal life.  

  • Our health and fitness 
  • Our emotional resilience 
  • Our mindset 
  • Our character traits and values 
  • Our religion or spiritual connection 
  • And who we show up as in the world 


Imagine what life would look like if you were in the best shape of your life physically, mentally and emotionally.  If you felt great in your own skin and loved your body.  If you had all the energy you desired.  Imagine what it would be like if you felt incredibly emotionally resilient.  You never got triggered at small things or even at big things. If you felt like nothing could rattle your cage. If you felt unshakable at your core. If you had the mindset of a monk – calm and peaceful all the time. If you longed for nothing more and your character traits and values supported those desires. Imagine what life would look like if you did all that you said you would do. If your habits were designed to fuel your life in powerful positive ways.  And most importantly, if you were showing up in the world for yourself, for your family, for the people you love as your best and highest self. And you were happy… truly, deeply, unwaveringly happy no matter what your circumstances.

That’s what working on ourselves can do for us. But here’s the thing….

We don’t do it. We certainly don’t do it daily.  We don’t give it the energy, attention and focus it needs.   Why don’t we?  Because we’re waiting. We’re waiting until things get worse. We’re waiting until the shit hits the fan so to speak.  Until tragedy strikes. Until things get really, really hard. Until we just can’t bear it anymore.  

Well guess what? Life is always going to throw us challenges. It’s always really hard. Tragedy will strike and we won’t be ready for it.  We need to work on ourselves when things are good. We need to do the inner work DAILY so we can stay ahead of the game. So we can be prepared for the challenges and the curveballs that life can and will throw our way.  

We all want a life that’s successful and fulfilling.  We have to do the work now.  We can’t wait for tragedy to strike or for things to be perfect.  We have the power to shape our outer world when we focus on our inner world.  

Isn’t that dream life worth it?  All that you pictured you can have when you work on your solid foundation, isn’t that juicy enough?  It should be.  We need to work on ourselves like our life depends on it.  Because it does.  And we deserve it.  And our family deserves it. 

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living a heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.” 

― L.R. Knost

We do the work on ourselves so we can be our best selves.  And it’s so worth it.