Building Your Life On a Solid Foundation
steffani

Building Your Life On a Solid Foundation

At the end of 2019 I was speaking at a retreat in Scottsdale, Arizona.  This retreat was designed for six, seven and eight figure female entrepreneurs to come together and to take their lives and their businesses to the “next level”.  I was honored to be a keynote speaker on the last day teaching some advanced concepts around goal setting.  I was told these women “had it all”.  So I was customizing my workshop accordingly.  But when I was participating in the 4 days leading up to my workshop I found something very different from what I was expecting. While having meals with these ladies, going on hikes with them and participating in the workshops there was one word these ladies used more than any other word…. 

Exhausted. 

These ladies were all exhausted.  They were overwhelmed and drained.  Sure they had created a lot of financial freedom in their lives but that financial freedom wasn’t buying them the inner peace and the happiness they were all desperately seeking. The reason why might be very simple but it’s not always common practice.  

They were exhausted because although they spent time, energy and attention on their career and financial life, they never dedicated any time, energy or attention on their foundation.  They worked on their business, but they never did the work on themselves. 

Most people are trying to build their lives on a weak foundation. 

Trying to build their relationships, their careers, their financial independence, their environments, their experiences on top of weak pillars. 

The foundational pillars that I see lacking most often are the foundational pillars in our personal life. 

  • Our health and fitness 
  • Our emotional resilience 
  • Our mindset 
  • Our character traits and values 
  • Our religion or spiritual connection 
  • And who we show up as in the world 

When we put energy, attention and focus into these 6 pillars we can build not only a career we love but a life we love. But it takes work.  It takes daily work on ourselves.   It takes getting in the right state and thinking the right thoughts.   Feeding our mind, body and soul the right things so we can show up in the world as everything but ‘exhausted’.   When we work on ourselves we are ready for any of the challenges that life can and will throw our way.  And we’re more present to the moments we all live for, the peace, the joy, the reverence for life and all its beauty and all its imperfections.  

Jim Rohn put it best when he said “Your level of success will rarely exceed your level of personal development, because success is something you attract by the person you become.” He was encouraging his students to build a solid foundation.  Because he knew that foundation is what would lead to their ultimate success.  

How I Apply the Magic Formula of Determination + Accountability
steffani

How I Apply the Magic Formula of Determination + Accountability

Today’s situation… I had workout clothes on since 7 am, trying desperately to squeeze in a workout ALL day. I reached out to 15-20 (literally) babysitters to watch the kids so John and I could go out to dinner. I juggled work, play, kids, dog, lunch, parks, cousins, sugar highs, tired kids, etc. At one point I couldn’t  remember the last time I ate.  This is a VERY typical Saturday. Or any day. 

One thing I’ve learned in my journey of personal growth and expansion is… 

Determination + Accountability = Magic formula 

With determination I can get my workouts in. I am ALWAYS ALWAYS finding ways to hold myself accountable or have others hold me accountable. In this case I have an accountability group that I told I would workout hard 5 times this week. So now I HAVE to workout today. I already missed one day. Tomorrow is no guarantee. I need the drive and I need the accountability. So I squeezed in a workout: 25 minutes of running, jump squats and push-ups while running an errand. Perfection. 

AND….

I found a sitter on attempt number 21 about an hour before our dinner reservation. 

I. Was. Determined. And I was held accountable by that same group. I told them I would plan a fun date night by the end of the week.  I feel Iike these 2 things in combination are highly underrated.  I could have given up on sitter request number 8 or when dinner plans were only 2 hours away but I didn’t.  I kept texting John and our friends that I was “getting closer”. 

Listen, I want to be held accountable for things that will move my life forward. I’ve danced around going on weekly date nights for years. I said I wanted to but didn’t do it. I tried for a while but then let stuff with the kids get in the way. But I know all too well how much it enhances our relationship. 

So excuses be gone.  I want YOU to hold me accountable for a weekly date night. And we can all witness as my relationship improves. Who’s with me? Want in?

Determination + Accountability = Magic

Why Moms Need to Travel …
steffani

Why Moms Need to Travel …

I know this will ruffle some feathers. We’ve all witnessed the soccer field conversations where Moms wear their loyalty like a badge of honor and try and one-up each other about who has gone longer without leaving their kids.  I hate that game, I always lose instantly. I love to travel alone.  And I have two young kids.  So I’ve heard it all.

The judgments.  “How can you leave for that long? Kids need their Mommy”. (Said by my Mom MANY times by the way.)

The passive aggressive comments. “Oh, I could never leave my kids.  I would just miss them too much.” (Oh and I apparently am not as loving is that what you mean?)

And the Moms who long for it.  “God I would love to do that.  Teach me how.”

I’m not here to convert anyone.  Or tell anyone how they should parent.  I’m just here to share my beliefs and to inspire the few who might be longing for more to take action on that desire and book a trip.

I believe that Moms should travel.  IF they’re longing for it.   IF it interests them. IF there are things that they’re really excited about and places they’re dying to visit.

Here’s why I travel…..

I travel to be a better person. 

I mainly travel to conferences and personal growth experiences.  So I mean that very literally. But even when I’ve traveled just purely for pleasure I feel like I grow as a person and as a Mom.

I travel to have time to deeply look at my life.

When I’m away I have new mental clarity for the vision I have for my life.  I always end up texting my husband some deep, meaningful messages filled with gratitude and big dreams and he always comments….”  you’re in your travel state of mind.” He’s right. Because when I’m away and not dealing with all the logistics of parenting I have room to dream.

I travel to sleep through the night without getting up ONCE.

Not much to explain here.  If you have kids….you get it.

I travel to explore new cultures and have new experiences.

My life is enhanced by new experiences and I don’t consider a new store opening or a new movie coming out a NEW experience.

I travel to meet new people who are very different from me.

I have a friend named Juraj from Slovakia. He’s the smartest man I’ve ever know. And really positive. Really happy. Really healthy. We just click. I met him and his amazing girlfriend Jana at a conference years ago.  It’s one of the most beautiful friendships I’ve ever had. We’ve traveled together. My kids adore them. I couldn’t imagine my life without friends like this.  And I feel like I can only meet them when I travel.

I travel to allow my husband the chance to be fully in charge.

When we were new parents, we had a therapist tell us once. “Let your husband have one day a week by himself with your son.” It was the best advice we could have been given as new parents.  It really helped me to let go, and him to step up.  When I travel, I arrange A LOT, spreadsheets, sitters, rides to hockey games.  But my husband also has to do a LOT without me. And that is a good thing.

I travel to be more grateful. 

When I’m away, I long for what I have.  I’m always SO EXCITED to come home. I can’t wait to tackle my kids and fill their bodies with kisses. I can’t wait to tackle my husband and fill him with kisses. I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed and drive my car and take a steam shower.  I love my life and am even MORE grateful for it when I come home from any length trip.

Mainly I travel to come back a new ME.    

A new and improved version of myself. Whether it’s an overnight in the city with my girlfriends or 9 days in Kuala Lumpur to teach a program, I return anew. How can I not? New experiences = New reality.

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder.  I say distance makes me a more patient, tolerant and loving mom.  It helps me have more reverence for this life I’ve created.  Even my son’s bedwetting, even my daughter’s potty mouth, even my Mom’s judgmental comments about my travels. I embrace life in a different way when I get home. And that alone makes it all so worth it.

Now, who wants to travel with me?

Steffani