Happiness Non-Negotiables
steffani

Happiness Non-Negotiables

Over the last 10 years, deep in my own personal growth work, I’ve finally designed exactly what I need in order to keep my happiness in check. 

My “happiness non-negotiables”. 

Here are mine:

#1. Regular daily exercise. I’m sure you know why this is the first one for me. It not only releases endorphins that help you feel amazing but it also makes you feel like a badass. There’s nothing that compares to pushing your body physically beyond where you thought you could. 

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#2. A healthy, connected, inspiring morning routine. The way I “prime myself” every morning makes a huge difference in how I go about my day. And how prepared I am to face any challenges that can, actually that will, come up. Meditation. Gratitude. Affirmations. Music. Lemon water. Visualization. All of that in one bundle is a non-negotiable for me. 

#3. Working on my thoughts. I’ve been playing this game for almost 30 years. Yep. Three decades of work on my mindset and my thoughts. And I’m not done. I will never be done. Figuring out how to consciously direct your thoughts. And to consciously course-correct your thoughts is the biggest game-changer of all. And therefore a massive non-negotiable for my happiness. The Byron Katie work is it for me!

#4. Me time. I might still be technically “happy” but I feel really OFF without any me time. Time totally alone. To self reflect. Not to work. Not to complete a project. But to catch up with ME. To let my mind catch up with my soul and my life. 

#4. Lots of water and healthy food. I don’t always nail this. But when I do I feel AMAZING. I can feel so out of sorts

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 when I eat a lot of processed foods or too much sugar or even caffeine. The jittery edgy feeling is not fun. So this is a big one too. What we put into our physical bodies definitely helps determine our inner state and internal happiness. 

#5. Connection. Similar to me time in the sense that I can go without it, but I just won’t feel fueled properly. If I’m spending too much time with kids and no adults, if I don’t have deep intimate conversations, game over. 

What are your happiness non-negotiables? Comment this post. I would love to hear from you!

Stay Sane Over the Holidays
steffani

Stay Sane Over the Holidays

I hope you’re finding a LOT of peace and ease these days especially with the holidays approaching.  Here in the U.S., we have Thanksgiving SOON and that can always bring up some sticky, heightened drama, high anxiety, and a lot of other negative emotions and experiences.  Not exactly what you want to experience during the holidays. This should be a time to celebrate life and be present with your family, right? Well, it doesn’t always go that way.  

Check out this FB Live I did recently where I share 3 key shifts that will help you have a better holiday experience.  

If you want the cliff notes version here it is: (but there are a lot of great questions and some gems in the video, check it out if you have time.) 

With these heightened emotions and lots of expectations, we can feel personally injured during the holidays.  We tend to ‘should’ all over people. They ‘should’ want to be here. My Mom ‘should’ be more organized. My sister in law ‘should’ have told me in advance.  Etc. Etc.  

I had a major adjustment to our Thanksgiving plans just 2 days ago.  And through that experience, I realized I had to use all my personal growth tools to help me out of it.  Here’s what I came up with.  

#1.  Don’t take anything personally and don’t let any negative stories about yourself or others spiral out of control.  

#2.  Release your unreasonable expectations around what the holidays should look like and the MEANING you choose to place on them.  

#3.  Have radical acceptance for what IS showing up. 

It’s not the circumstance that brings you stress it’s your thoughts that the circumstances should be different then they are.  

Most importantly what we really need to do is come from a place of love.  Love all those around us. And show up as our best selves. When you allow all this in, you’ll be present, you’ll be more patient and you’ll find a lot more joy.  

For practical ways how you can do this watch this video training.  I have a lot to share on the ‘meaning’ we chose to place on things and how we can change the meaning.  

You are ridiculously in charge of your inner peace.  You are ridiculously in charge of your emotional well being.  You are ridiculously in charge of your holidays. Take charge now. 

Keep your eye out for my first ever Black Friday sale for your soul. 🙂 

Grateful for you!

The #1 Skill You Need In Parenting
steffani

The #1 Skill You Need In Parenting

Have you ever thought about PROJECTION?  How you may project your ideas, opinions, feelings or unreasonable expectations onto others.  Especially our kids?!  

Well you might not have thought about it that way. Or maybe you have. But either way, we do it.  

We use our past experience and our childhood to ‘predict’ how our kids are FEELING. And we try and manipulate their reality to shape the story we have of what it should be.  

Sounds crazy I know. But we do it… ALL THE TIME.  

Check out this video where I share the #1 most important skill you need in parenting.  And how we PROJECT all over the place. 

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If you’re not ‘into’ video.  Here are the cliff notes…  

When we project our values, opinions, feelings, and expectations onto our kids we always come out disappointed. The key to changing this is to PAUSE. Stop and reflect on what you’re doing and how that’s affecting your child’s experience. And your own. I share a few examples of how I used the pause approach in my own life to help you see where it can be highly effective.  

Similar to the PAUSE is the #1 most important skill you need in parenting. And that is to learn how to STOP. To stop yourself in your tracks and respond instead of reacting.  

I know it sounds hard or damn near impossible to do that at the moment when your kid just told you to ‘go F yourself”. But it is possible. It’s not only possible it’s necessary. For us to stay sane and for them to stay alive.  

More stories about how this is possible and some great questions from some awesome Mamas in the training video. 

I’d love to hear what comes up for you.  Have you been projecting?  Do you need to pause more?  Have you learned the amazing magic of STOPPING in your tracks and responding versus reacting?  Leave me a comment. I’d love to connect with you.