Suffering in silence…
steffani

Suffering in silence…

We’ve been going through a hard time as a family lately. (Public school issues mainly.)

I know my blog posts are normally only rainbows and butterflies. But I also know we all experience the highs and lows in life. We can never escape it. It’s gonna happen. We’ll lose loved ones. Fight with friends. Get kicked off a team. Have something lost or stolen. Break a bone. Or worse, have our heart broken. Especially as parents, we see injustice in the world. Far too often.

This. Is. Life. It’s bound to happen.

When I experience these things, which I do, ALL THE TIME. I tend to pull away from sharing. Not because I’m afraid or ashamed to share the shit and the trials and tribulations. But because I turn inward. And I have a habit of suffering in silence. Thinking no one will get it. Thinking that I may come off as negative or weak. Fearing that it will only make things worse if I speak of my troubles and stresses.

So today I put my coaching hat on and told myself what I would tell one of my clients.

Don't suffer in silence
Zoe and I

DO NOT SUFFER IN SILENCE. Ask for the help you need.

Speak to your fears. Name and claim your stressful thoughts. And find someone to help you THROUGH them.

Don’t suffer in silence. Do the work it takes to get you on the other side of this tunnel. Ask for the help you need to see the light. Use all your tools and lean on your tribe so you can find your way and make it to the other side.

We don’t need to suffer in silence. And in my opinion that never works. If anything it only causes us to stuff it down and experience it again tenfold.

There are so many practices we can use to move THROUGH our suffering.

The Byron Katie Work (one of my faves that I do with all my clients but have a hard time doing for myself when I’m really in the soup.)

EFT or Tapping (simple and easy, search it on Youtube. but then you still have to DO IT)

Therapy, counseling, coaching (Duh)

Talk to a friend (Not just any friend. Not a friend who will just agree and say “wow yea that SUCKS” but a TRUTH friend who will show you how you can do better, help you turn your thoughts around and hold your hand until you’re on the other side.)

A 3 part solution I share with my clients in times like these:

(reminding myself of them now so I’ll use them)

Step 1. Focus on the END RESULT of what you DO want. Stop dwelling on and thinking about what you don’t want.

Step 2. Give it away to a higher power. We’re not alone here. Stop acting like it.

Step 3. Safeguard your happiness. Do everything and anything that brings you JOY. Laugh, make love, dance, have FUN because no amount of suffering ever got us on the other side of the tunnel.

Have you ever found yourself suffering in silence? What do you do to get through it?

Xxxx,

What our kids need/WE need most
steffani

What our kids need/WE need most

I SEE YOU.  I HEAR YOU.  YOU’RE VALUED.

This, in the end, is all our kids want from us.

They want a Mom who can be present enough to see them for who they are.  To listen to their truth.  (And sometimes their lies) and to love them for who they are.  Unconditionally. Even when they’re being “bad”.  Even when they’re making poor choices.  Even when they’re exploding or having meltdowns.

Our kids want this.  Our kids NEED this.  But we don’t give it to them.  

Why?

Because we don’t even give it to ourselves.

We don’t see ourselves and because we’re so filled with shame and self-judgments the only thing we have to offer our kids is a shell of ourselves.

Sure we can fake it.  And make everything look ok on the outside.  Put our game face on and make dinner while scrolling through social media and put our kids to bed sometimes peacefully and usually only after 2 glasses of wine.

Yea.  That works.  But not for long.

Because it will all come crashing down.  Like it has before.  It might show up differently every time.  It can be disguised as gaining weight over the holidays. Or shopping far too much and racking up the credit card bill.  Or not paying attention to our marriage and letting our sex life slip away while fighting more and dating each other less.

But once we come to see our own PERSONAL POWER and really SEE ourselves for who we are – powerful souls having a human experience – we can shape our lives any way we want. Admit it.  You know that’s in there.

Once we come to recognize, admit to and see our power then game over.  All the pain and suffering can end and we take our power back.  Only then can we GIVE it to our kids.  Only then can we truly transform our lives and stop living a different existence on the inside than on the outside.

Once I came face to face with my power.  It changed my life forever.  

It changed my marriage forever.
It changed my family forever.
It changed my business’s forever.
It changed my future forever.

But what changed? How was I able to access my higher self and start showing up in the world as who I really wanted to be?  

I started loving ME.
I started coming to know ME.
I started to forgive myself.
I started to understand myself.
I started to connect with that divine voice inside of me.
I started changing my stories and writing new ones.
I started creating a new personal reality.

So where do you start?

There are many places. But my invitation to you is to join me for my 5 Essential Shifts Livestream Series.  It’s 100% free.

These 5 shifts will help you:

~Uncover what’s not working, so you can finally shift that SH!T
~Discover your power (yep it’s there)
~Finally BELIEVE you are worthy and deserving of all life has to offer
~Get rid of the guilt and anxiety that’s been plaguing you for decades (admit it, it’s still there)
~Stop blaming anyone else, yes that includes your husband, even if he doesn’t help out much
~End the bad habits that have kept you, overweight, broke and feeling under-appreciated
~And to finally, dare I say it, LOVE yourself and your life exactly as it is 

Here’s the great news.  You are in control of your life.  You just forgot for a while.  And I’m here to remind you, and to give you the keys that will unlock the door to your best life.  I hope you’ll join me.

We’re popping up a Facebook group just for this live training.  So we can get real, raw and vulnerable.  (Don’t get scared….this leads to tremendous breakthroughs)

Click here to sign up and start your journey back to YOU.

How to Feel Overjoyed, Totally Fulfilled and BLISSED out.
steffani

How to Feel Overjoyed, Totally Fulfilled and BLISSED out.

It’s already MAY!  Wow. This year is flying by.

 

If you’re like me you’re starting to feel that pull to DO MORE.  To be more productive.  To make more memories. To make more money.  To do more good. To have more fun. To go on more adventures and have more epic experiences with the people you love.  

Basically to focus on WHAT MATTERS MOST.  The years will keep flying by.  When can we actually find the time to do all this.  And to feel overjoyed, totally fulfilled and BLISSED out.  Is that even possible?

 

If you’d like to step up your game this year and re-align with what you REALLY want out of life… I’ve got something that’s gonna ROCK your world!

 

I have put together a FREE 5 part Live Stream Series, 5 Essential Shifts to the Business, Body, Relationship & Life You Love, and YOU’RE INVITED!

 

I’m not teaching you the 5 steps to create a 6 figure business.  Or sharing the essential apps you need to be more proactive and CRUSH your Mom game.  

 

What I will be sharing are the SHIFTS that need to happen FIRST in order for you to step into your next level life.  In order for you to up your game so you actually CAN focus on what matters most.  

 

See, the shifts have to come first.  It’s your mental state, the internal shifts, then your thoughts words and stories, then your strategies that make up your reality.  Your current reality is a reflection of the internal beliefs you have.

 

In this 5 part Live Stream Series, I’ll share with you the 5 essential shifts you need to take your life from ordinary to extraordinary… Even with all of the obstacles at home, even though you have no additional time in the day to work on YOU. I get it. I’m in the same boat.

 

Join me in truly uncovering what’s not working, so you can finally shift that SH!T!

 

Together, we can end the bad habits that have kept you, overweight, broke, and feeling under appreciated… And finally, dare I say it, LOVE yourself and your life exactly as it is. (While still creating all you WANT.)

 

Let me help you to discover your power!

 

I wish I knew about these 5 essential shifts before I had kids…

 

I hope you’ll join me!