I Broke Down In Tears

I Broke Down In Tears

Yesterday I broke down in tears. It was a long day with the kids. Zoe got mad and threw something that hit me in the face. That’s what triggered it but not why I cried. I cried because I fell into an old pattern. An old story that used to creep up on me all the time. That story is…”it’s really hard to parent my kids.” 

And here’s all the evidence I’ve built up behind that story:

They’re explosive. 

They fight a lot. 

They have a hard time in school. 

They never stop moving. Or taking. Or whining. 

They are very needy. 

And just exhausting. 

That story took over as I cried in my room. With a lot of self defeating thoughts. 

“This is too hard.”

“I’m not good at this.”

“They’re so hard to parent.”

“Why can’t this be easier?” 

“I’m a terrible mom!”

These feelings swept over me. But not for long. I’ve been doing this work for too long to let this old pattern reemerge. I know not to believe and buy into the thoughts that don’t serve me. I can use them as fuel to make positive change. In this instance to create some boundaries with Zoe around how she treats people. But I can’t let stressful thoughts spiral out of control. Or they’ll start to define me. They’ll define us. 

“It’s the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

Aristotle was right. When we know how to let the thoughts that don’t serve us pass us by we can find more peace and love the people closest to us. 

This is powerful work we’re up to. Feel it. Honor it. But then don’t believe it. Choose the thoughts that empower you and support your growth. They’re always available. 

Believe in yourself, but not in your thoughts.  I believe in you,

 

How You Can Get Through These Hard Times With More Stability And Strength.

How You Can Get Through These Hard Times With More Stability And Strength.

It’s not easy to ride this roller coaster of emotions. Sharing a few tips here how you can get through these hard times with more stability and strength. Plus a suggestion… check in with your friends. Especially your extrovert friends. This is hard on us all and it might be harder on your strong friends then you think. Go easy on yourself and others.

I also wanted to share a process I’ve been using to boost my mornings. I call these 8 Power Questions. I write them in my journal every morning or in the notes on my phone after gratitude and meditation. Here are the questions: 

Morning

  1. A ‘big message’ I need to remind myself of and keep uppermost in my mind today is…
  1. The 3 goals/objectives I am most committed to completing today are… 
  1. Today I’m most committed to experiencing myself as… 
  1. What is most likely to get in the way/pull me off track from accomplishing my goals and feeling how I want to feel is…
  1. My plan for when that ☝☝☝☝ happens is…
  1. ONE action I could take today to stretch myself and get a LITTLE uncomfortable is…
  1. ONE action I can take to get outside and/or find some joy today is…
  1. I will know that today had been a successful day because…

(What would you have had to have done, experienced or felt?)

Try these out in the morning and see if it sets your day up for success and stay tuned for an evening process… 

Please let me know if there’s anything I can do, from my home to yours, to support you on this journey.

Come from love. Stay safe. Stay healthy. Stay positive. This too shall pass. #wevegotthis

 

Finding joy,

Steffani

Happiness Non-Negotiables

Happiness Non-Negotiables

Over the last 10 years, deep in my own personal growth work, I’ve finally designed exactly what I need in order to keep my happiness in check. 

My “happiness non-negotiables”. 

Here are mine:

#1. Regular daily exercise. I’m sure you know why this is the first one for me. It not only releases endorphins that help you feel amazing but it also makes you feel like a badass. There’s nothing that compares to pushing your body physically beyond where you thought you could. 

happiness

#2. A healthy, connected, inspiring morning routine. The way I “prime myself” every morning makes a huge difference in how I go about my day. And how prepared I am to face any challenges that can, actually that will, come up. Meditation. Gratitude. Affirmations. Music. Lemon water. Visualization. All of that in one bundle is a non-negotiable for me. 

#3. Working on my thoughts. I’ve been playing this game for almost 30 years. Yep. Three decades of work on my mindset and my thoughts. And I’m not done. I will never be done. Figuring out how to consciously direct your thoughts. And to consciously course-correct your thoughts is the biggest game-changer of all. And therefore a massive non-negotiable for my happiness. The Byron Katie work is it for me!

#4. Me time. I might still be technically “happy” but I feel really OFF without any me time. Time totally alone. To self reflect. Not to work. Not to complete a project. But to catch up with ME. To let my mind catch up with my soul and my life. 

#4. Lots of water and healthy food. I don’t always nail this. But when I do I feel AMAZING. I can feel so out of sorts

happiness

 when I eat a lot of processed foods or too much sugar or even caffeine. The jittery edgy feeling is not fun. So this is a big one too. What we put into our physical bodies definitely helps determine our inner state and internal happiness. 

#5. Connection. Similar to me time in the sense that I can go without it, but I just won’t feel fueled properly. If I’m spending too much time with kids and no adults, if I don’t have deep intimate conversations, game over. 

What are your happiness non-negotiables? Comment this post. I would love to hear from you!