Building Your Life On a Solid Foundation
steffani

Building Your Life On a Solid Foundation

At the end of 2019 I was speaking at a retreat in Scottsdale, Arizona.  This retreat was designed for six, seven and eight figure female entrepreneurs to come together and to take their lives and their businesses to the “next level”.  I was honored to be a keynote speaker on the last day teaching some advanced concepts around goal setting.  I was told these women “had it all”.  So I was customizing my workshop accordingly.  But when I was participating in the 4 days leading up to my workshop I found something very different from what I was expecting. While having meals with these ladies, going on hikes with them and participating in the workshops there was one word these ladies used more than any other word…. 

Exhausted. 

These ladies were all exhausted.  They were overwhelmed and drained.  Sure they had created a lot of financial freedom in their lives but that financial freedom wasn’t buying them the inner peace and the happiness they were all desperately seeking. The reason why might be very simple but it’s not always common practice.  

They were exhausted because although they spent time, energy and attention on their career and financial life, they never dedicated any time, energy or attention on their foundation.  They worked on their business, but they never did the work on themselves. 

Most people are trying to build their lives on a weak foundation. 

Trying to build their relationships, their careers, their financial independence, their environments, their experiences on top of weak pillars. 

The foundational pillars that I see lacking most often are the foundational pillars in our personal life. 

  • Our health and fitness 
  • Our emotional resilience 
  • Our mindset 
  • Our character traits and values 
  • Our religion or spiritual connection 
  • And who we show up as in the world 

When we put energy, attention and focus into these 6 pillars we can build not only a career we love but a life we love. But it takes work.  It takes daily work on ourselves.   It takes getting in the right state and thinking the right thoughts.   Feeding our mind, body and soul the right things so we can show up in the world as everything but ‘exhausted’.   When we work on ourselves we are ready for any of the challenges that life can and will throw our way.  And we’re more present to the moments we all live for, the peace, the joy, the reverence for life and all its beauty and all its imperfections.  

Jim Rohn put it best when he said “Your level of success will rarely exceed your level of personal development, because success is something you attract by the person you become.” He was encouraging his students to build a solid foundation.  Because he knew that foundation is what would lead to their ultimate success.  

How I Apply the Magic Formula of Determination + Accountability
steffani

How I Apply the Magic Formula of Determination + Accountability

Today’s situation… I had workout clothes on since 7 am, trying desperately to squeeze in a workout ALL day. I reached out to 15-20 (literally) babysitters to watch the kids so John and I could go out to dinner. I juggled work, play, kids, dog, lunch, parks, cousins, sugar highs, tired kids, etc. At one point I couldn’t  remember the last time I ate.  This is a VERY typical Saturday. Or any day. 

One thing I’ve learned in my journey of personal growth and expansion is… 

Determination + Accountability = Magic formula 

With determination I can get my workouts in. I am ALWAYS ALWAYS finding ways to hold myself accountable or have others hold me accountable. In this case I have an accountability group that I told I would workout hard 5 times this week. So now I HAVE to workout today. I already missed one day. Tomorrow is no guarantee. I need the drive and I need the accountability. So I squeezed in a workout: 25 minutes of running, jump squats and push-ups while running an errand. Perfection. 

AND….

I found a sitter on attempt number 21 about an hour before our dinner reservation. 

I. Was. Determined. And I was held accountable by that same group. I told them I would plan a fun date night by the end of the week.  I feel Iike these 2 things in combination are highly underrated.  I could have given up on sitter request number 8 or when dinner plans were only 2 hours away but I didn’t.  I kept texting John and our friends that I was “getting closer”. 

Listen, I want to be held accountable for things that will move my life forward. I’ve danced around going on weekly date nights for years. I said I wanted to but didn’t do it. I tried for a while but then let stuff with the kids get in the way. But I know all too well how much it enhances our relationship. 

So excuses be gone.  I want YOU to hold me accountable for a weekly date night. And we can all witness as my relationship improves. Who’s with me? Want in?

Determination + Accountability = Magic

I Broke Down In Tears
steffani

I Broke Down In Tears

Yesterday I broke down in tears. It was a long day with the kids. Zoe got mad and threw something that hit me in the face. That’s what triggered it but not why I cried. I cried because I fell into an old pattern. An old story that used to creep up on me all the time. That story is…”it’s really hard to parent my kids.” 

And here’s all the evidence I’ve built up behind that story:

They’re explosive. 

They fight a lot. 

They have a hard time in school. 

They never stop moving. Or taking. Or whining. 

They are very needy. 

And just exhausting. 

That story took over as I cried in my room. With a lot of self defeating thoughts. 

“This is too hard.”

“I’m not good at this.”

“They’re so hard to parent.”

“Why can’t this be easier?” 

“I’m a terrible mom!”

These feelings swept over me. But not for long. I’ve been doing this work for too long to let this old pattern reemerge. I know not to believe and buy into the thoughts that don’t serve me. I can use them as fuel to make positive change. In this instance to create some boundaries with Zoe around how she treats people. But I can’t let stressful thoughts spiral out of control. Or they’ll start to define me. They’ll define us. 

“It’s the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

Aristotle was right. When we know how to let the thoughts that don’t serve us pass us by we can find more peace and love the people closest to us. 

This is powerful work we’re up to. Feel it. Honor it. But then don’t believe it. Choose the thoughts that empower you and support your growth. They’re always available. 

Believe in yourself, but not in your thoughts.  I believe in you,