Happiness Non-Negotiables
steffani

Happiness Non-Negotiables

Over the last 10 years, deep in my own personal growth work, I’ve finally designed exactly what I need in order to keep my happiness in check. 

My “happiness non-negotiables”. 

Here are mine:

#1. Regular daily exercise. I’m sure you know why this is the first one for me. It not only releases endorphins that help you feel amazing but it also makes you feel like a badass. There’s nothing that compares to pushing your body physically beyond where you thought you could. 

happiness

#2. A healthy, connected, inspiring morning routine. The way I “prime myself” every morning makes a huge difference in how I go about my day. And how prepared I am to face any challenges that can, actually that will, come up. Meditation. Gratitude. Affirmations. Music. Lemon water. Visualization. All of that in one bundle is a non-negotiable for me. 

#3. Working on my thoughts. I’ve been playing this game for almost 30 years. Yep. Three decades of work on my mindset and my thoughts. And I’m not done. I will never be done. Figuring out how to consciously direct your thoughts. And to consciously course-correct your thoughts is the biggest game-changer of all. And therefore a massive non-negotiable for my happiness. The Byron Katie work is it for me!

#4. Me time. I might still be technically “happy” but I feel really OFF without any me time. Time totally alone. To self reflect. Not to work. Not to complete a project. But to catch up with ME. To let my mind catch up with my soul and my life. 

#4. Lots of water and healthy food. I don’t always nail this. But when I do I feel AMAZING. I can feel so out of sorts

happiness

 when I eat a lot of processed foods or too much sugar or even caffeine. The jittery edgy feeling is not fun. So this is a big one too. What we put into our physical bodies definitely helps determine our inner state and internal happiness. 

#5. Connection. Similar to me time in the sense that I can go without it, but I just won’t feel fueled properly. If I’m spending too much time with kids and no adults, if I don’t have deep intimate conversations, game over. 

What are your happiness non-negotiables? Comment this post. I would love to hear from you!

Stay Sane Over the Holidays
steffani

Stay Sane Over the Holidays

I hope you’re finding a LOT of peace and ease these days especially with the holidays approaching.  Here in the U.S., we have Thanksgiving SOON and that can always bring up some sticky, heightened drama, high anxiety, and a lot of other negative emotions and experiences.  Not exactly what you want to experience during the holidays. This should be a time to celebrate life and be present with your family, right? Well, it doesn’t always go that way.  

Check out this FB Live I did recently where I share 3 key shifts that will help you have a better holiday experience.  

If you want the cliff notes version here it is: (but there are a lot of great questions and some gems in the video, check it out if you have time.) 

With these heightened emotions and lots of expectations, we can feel personally injured during the holidays.  We tend to ‘should’ all over people. They ‘should’ want to be here. My Mom ‘should’ be more organized. My sister in law ‘should’ have told me in advance.  Etc. Etc.  

I had a major adjustment to our Thanksgiving plans just 2 days ago.  And through that experience, I realized I had to use all my personal growth tools to help me out of it.  Here’s what I came up with.  

#1.  Don’t take anything personally and don’t let any negative stories about yourself or others spiral out of control.  

#2.  Release your unreasonable expectations around what the holidays should look like and the MEANING you choose to place on them.  

#3.  Have radical acceptance for what IS showing up. 

It’s not the circumstance that brings you stress it’s your thoughts that the circumstances should be different then they are.  

Most importantly what we really need to do is come from a place of love.  Love all those around us. And show up as our best selves. When you allow all this in, you’ll be present, you’ll be more patient and you’ll find a lot more joy.  

For practical ways how you can do this watch this video training.  I have a lot to share on the ‘meaning’ we chose to place on things and how we can change the meaning.  

You are ridiculously in charge of your inner peace.  You are ridiculously in charge of your emotional well being.  You are ridiculously in charge of your holidays. Take charge now. 

Keep your eye out for my first ever Black Friday sale for your soul. 🙂 

Grateful for you!

Mom, You don’t have a behavior problem
steffani

Mom, You don’t have a behavior problem

You don’t have a behavior problem. Listen. I know it feels that way. I know it looks and sounds like the one thing you need is for your son or daughter to “behave”. But I promise you, you don’t have a behavior problem.

You don’t have a homework problem.

Or a sibling fighting too much problem.

Or even a backtalk problem.

Yea. From an outside point of view, I see how it can look that way. And how it might feel that way to you. But that’s not the problem. Your kid’s behavior actually has nothing to do with it. It can feel that way. Oh boy, can it feel that way.  It’s so frustrating. It’s so hard. It’s so messy. It can raise our stress level from 1-10 instantly. But I promise you. It’s not your kids’ behavior that’s the problem.

The problem is you. Bottom line is… you haven’t done the work.

I know that sounds harsh but hear me out. When we don’t work on our foundation, on feeling mentally, emotionally and physically strong and when we don’t have our thoughts mastered, our feelings on point and our triggers in check, then we haven’t done all we can do to show up in the world as the best parent we can be.

It’s not their fault. It’s ours. Our kids respond to our behavior and their behavior is a language.  Am I saying that when our kids explode and are whiny and needy and talkback that it’s our fault? Yes. I’m saying that and MORE. The women that I work with prove one major thing to be true:

When we do the inner work and build a strong, solid foundation, we find the inner peace. The presence. The JOY.

And guess what? No one else changed. Just us.

When we do the work on US, we change our perspective and therefore our reality. When we do the work we can then build anything we want on that solid foundation. We get strong. And aware. And proactive. We start consciously creating a life we really truly wholeheartedly love.

It’s not pretty. It takes work. It’s ugly at first. It’s messy in the middle. But it’s gorgeous at the end. And in the end, we see our kid’s behavior in a completely different light. It’s just a language. Telling us what we need to work on.

Are you ready to do the work? Message me