If you want MORE I totally get it…

If you want MORE I totally get it…

First of all…it’s OK.

It’s OK to want MORE.  Even as a mom with amazing kids it’s OK to WANT MORE. Now that that’s out of the way… (step aside mom guilt) I have MORE to say.

You also don’t need to settle for LESS.
Yep.  I said it.  STOP SETTLING.

Stop settling for less joy
Stop settling for overwhelm
Stop settling for a relationship that’s not as romantic as you want it to be
Stop settling in a space where you yell every damn day
Stop settling for a job you don’t love
Stop living in a  house you don’t love
Stop eating food you don’t love
Stop living a life where you’re settling for less than you DESERVE

Ut oh, now we’re opening up a whole new can of worms…here come the unworthy thoughts and feelings. I get it. You are not alone!

But deep down inside I WANT MORE.  And even deeper down I KNOW I DESERVE MORE. If you know that too.  Then it’s time.

It’s time to expect MORE!  

MORE out of life!
MORE from your health.   
MORE from your relationships.
MORE from your parenting.
MORE from yourself.
MORE LOVE.
MORE laughter.
MORE balance.

See, we KNOW we are in control. But this Mom journey sometimes has us feeling WAY out of control.

And its time to take back control.

Because WE create our THOUGHTS.
Our THOUGHTS create our INTENTIONS.
And our INTENTIONS create our REALITY.

It’s that simple. Not easy. But that simple. In my Next Level Life Mastermind, we take back control.

Of our THOUGHTS Of our EXCUSES
Of our WORDS
Of our negative SELF-TALK
Of our REACTIONS
Of our LIMITING BELIEFS
Of our STATE
Of our FEELINGS
Of our LIVES Of our HAPPINESS!

Because THIS is the type of Mom that we want to BE.
THIS is the type of Mom our kids deserve.
THIS is the type of mom who’s living a life we’re all striving for.
THIS is the type of Mom the world needs more of.

In the Next Level Life Mastermind sisterhood, together, we commit to fulfilling our giant, soul-driven missions, and we firmly hold a vision for each other that  EXCEEDS our wildest dreams in every area of our life.

Not only do we believe we can have it all.  We believe we can have it all… and MORE.

Apply Here

4 Tips to Find Your Tribe

4 Tips to Find Your Tribe

I have always craved sisterhood. It fuels me and sets my soul on fire. I feel like it might be my deepest purpose in life, to create and facilitate a strong tribe of like-minded Badass women.

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” ~Jane Howard

I remember the day I realized that I needed to find my tribe. Years ago I heard about The Harvard Grant Study from Jon Butcher at Lifebook. It’s a study that spanned over 75 years studying the physical and emotional habits and experiences of 268 Harvard college men.

It basically explained that the connections you have with the people closest to you will not only determine how happy you are but will also determine your level of wealth and success, the longevity and quality of your marriage, your level of health and wellness and how happy and fulfilled you live your life. That’s pretty much everything. And it all comes down to the quality of your relationships. That hit me hard.

I looked around at my closest relationships and realized that 90% of them were not chosen they were simply convenient. They consisted of co-workers, neighbors, teammates, gym friends, family members. And they were fine, even somewhat fulfilling, but were they taking me everywhere I wanted to go in life? Bottom line was no. Could they be better? Hell yes.

So I set out to find my tribe and to see how that might enhance my life. It didn’t take long to find them, and WOW was it a game changer. I am now determined to create more tribes for women who like myself refuse to settle.

Here are the steps I took that lead me down a beautiful path to find my tribe.

Step 1:  Set the right intention

No one finds what they want by setting an intention on what they don’t want. So first things first, I set out to meet transformational leaders. I wanted to surround myself with game changers. People moving humanity forward in some way. People dreaming big and living big.

If you set an intention to meet nice people, you’ll meet nice people. Be specific. If you want to meet other parents who love hockey and are into philanthropy, set that intention. Get clear on who you want to surround yourself with to enhance your life and the Universe will conspire to make it happen.

When I set that intention in February of 2012, I almost immediately heard about a conference called Afest ( www.afest.com)I looked it up and WOW, that was my dream tribe. They met every criterion I set in my intention. This tribe was made up of dream big entrepreneurs, transformational leaders in every way, game changers and badass visionaries. These people were living extraordinary lives in all areas. I wanted IN. And the Universe responded.

Later that year I attended my first Afest. I’ve now been to 8 Afests in beautiful, tropical locations all over the world, and I have to say what keeps me going back is not the experience, it’s the tribe.

Since knowing this tribe I created accountability groups and masterminds with some of these amazing people and because of those I’ve started 2 new businesses.  I’ve had more epic experiences and raised my quality of life more than I ever thought possible. And most importantly I know that no matter where I am in the world I can find an Afester who’s got my back. All of this started with a clear intention.

Step 2: Look near and far

We tend to look for like-minded people in our own backyard and that’s very possible, but thanks to social media and the internet we can find our tribe anywhere on the planet.

Stay open to how your tribe might show up and don’t be surprised if you meet a tribe member on the beach in Mykonos or at your local grocery store. You have to stay open and search near and far.

Consider joining a Facebook group focused on your interests, look at your local bookstore, church or library for events that light you up inside. Also try www.grouponlive.comwww.dabble.com and www.meetup.com great recourses for local events covering a variety of interests.

I recently attended a documentary film event at my local movie theater about different school systems. I arrived late and it was already dark. The movie was very moving and really spoke to me. When it ended I stood up applauding and when the lights came on I saw 60 other parents standing and clapping. I looked around with a big smile and realized here’s my local tribe. I found them in a dark movie theater at 4 pm on a Saturday and I fell in love. You never know where you might find them.

Step 3: Put yourself out there

How is anyone supposed to know that you’re into healing with essential oils if you never tell anyone? We have to find a way to go deeper, be vulnerable and share our interests with others. Sure it’s easy to attend an essential oils party and share with them but how can you find others when not in that environment?

My husband and I went on a cruise down the Rhine River with his work and we didn’t know anyone else on the trip. Instead of just keeping to ourselves, which was our first instinct, I set an intention to meet some like-minded people.

I found myself sitting next to the same women a few times, we had polite conversation and then something whispered to me to go deeper. So I asked her what she was passionate about. And that simple question opened the floodgates.

We started talking about life, love, and happiness. We talked about books we loved. We had a lot in common and we practically had an identical library at home. It enhanced our trip in immeasurable ways to connect with someone on a deeper level.  Someone who speaks a similar language. And thanks to social media we’re still in touch to this day.

So be vulnerable, go deeper, put yourself out there and you’ll meet more of your own.

Step 4: Focus on what you believe

This idea of a strong solid tribe sparked my interest in creating my own tribe. If being a part of a tribe could enhance my life so much what would creating my own tribe designed specifically to turn up the dial in my own life do?

So my business partner Allie and I set out to create a movement of unapologetic, unstoppable women who refuse to settle for a life they don’t love. And we started with what we believe.

If you look for people who have similar beliefs you’ll find an even deeper connection than if you look for those with similar interests. You’ll find multiple ways to move your lives forward together.

Here’s what we believe and what the Badass Mom Society is based on: 

We believe a tribe of like-minded women is the secret code to extraordinary living
We believe that with the right mindset anything (and everything) is possible
We believe in radical, unapologetic self-care
We believe that when we nourish our relationships it nourishes our lives
We believe it’s our right to live well (and prosper)
We believe that you should never settle for anything less than what you deserve
We believe that you should wildly embrace exactly who you are
We believe every inch of your life should feel extraordinary
We believe that fun and play are essential to an incredible existence.
We believe that you are FULLY responsible for the outcome of your life
We believe in adventure. In pushing your edges.
We believe in higher living and a higher power.
We believe everything you need exists WITHIN you…it just needs the right supportive sisterhood to bring it out, shine it up, and set it free.

If you believe the same you can join us here.

If you’re ready to meet your tribe and you follow some of these suggestions and then buckle your seat belt. It’s sure to enhance your life. With a solid tribe on your side, you’ll make a lot of powerful positive changes in your life and you’ll leave what no longer serves you behind. Your current life might be unrecognizable in just a few months. And you’ll see what the Harvard Grant Study proves, that life is better with a tribe.

Xxx,

3 Tips To Eliminate Holiday Overwhelm

3 Tips To Eliminate Holiday Overwhelm

I hope you’re having a great holiday season already. It’s going by so fast. I’m decorating my house and my friends helped me. Thank God for my friends because I wouldn’t know what to do. I would just have a bunch of red Christmas pillows and that’s it.

Instead, thanks to my friend Liz at Two Story Farm House, I have all these gorgeous things and my mantel with beautiful pompoms hanging. I mean, who knew that you could hang pompoms from your mantle and it would look so cute! I’m putting up some really cute stockings and more stuff to come. It’s amazing!

Decorating for the holidays for me is like a month long because decorating isn’t easy and I needed more things. I needed more things that I really love and to get rid of some old things that I didn’t love.

So I wanted to talk quickly about some tips and tools of how you can shift out of over-whelm and really enjoy the holidays more.

These are some really simple things, but for me, they’re still kind of smack on the head, ‘Oh my God, why didn’t I do that sooner?’

Tip 1: Get Everything Into Your Calendar.

Every. little. detail. Goes into your calendar.

For example, my husband texted me and said we should order some things for Christmas Eve dinner. So I put it in the calendar for Monday at 11:00 AM.

Every. little. thing.

  • We’re dropping off some gifts at this wonderful organization today.
  • We have a family that we bought gifts for and we’re delivering them today between five and nine.
  • Take my daughter to ballet at 5:15.

So putting everything on the calendar is a big important thing.

I know it sounds silly, but I even put in my calendar when I want to reach out to my sister in law and invite her to Christmas Eve.

When things live in our head, it can feel so overwhelming. That’s where so much overwhelm comes from. So putting everything in your calendar or on paper really helps.

I have notes in my phone about people that I need to call or dinners that I want to schedule or my gift list – everything.

Overwhelm is a state of mind, but it also comes from all of the things being only up in your head.

Tip 2: Get in the Right State Every Morning.

I know I talk about this a lot, but it’s been a process for me to learn over many years. But now it’s something that I don’t miss.

Get in the right state every morning by listening to music and doing a meditation, doing some affirmations, doing a gratitude list or whatever fills you up.

During the holidays it’s so much more important to do things in the morning that get you in the right state.

You want to show up as your best self instead of frazzled and busy. I mean, if you’re a mom, you’re taking on 90-95 percent of the work, maybe 98 percent of the work. You’re doing it all so your state matters.

So do everything you can first thing in the morning to really fill you up and get into the most peaceful state possible. Then you can be ready for any of the challenges that might come your way.

Tip 3: Ask for help.

Outsource that shit as much as you can.

  • I asked my friends to come over and help me decorate and Liz showed up with things from her store and helped me decorate.
  • I asked my friend Andy to come over and help me decorate and she helped put things together.
  • I’m asking my friends to do some shopping for me.
  • I’m asking my assistant to help me with buying some of the gifts.

There’s so much that we can ask for help with and outsource.

I know we all want to be supermom. I know we all want to say that we’ve done it all, but why?

I mean if I can, I will. I love hosting things and having everyone bring something because then I have the house to host. I can have drinks and appetizers and everyone brings something. I can handle that.

On Christmas Eve I’m actually going to cook. I’m going to ask my friend Jen, who’s my most amazing chef and friend, what to do. Right? I’m going to ask her for help. I’m not going to try and do it all by myself.

Ask for help with shopping.

Ask for help with your parties.

Ask for help with everything.

I hope you’re having an awesome holiday,

Steffani

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I have a Happier Moms for the Holidays Challenge going on right now. There are hundreds of women signed up. We have six days worth of short videos with a challenge each day all around the same topic of how you can get out of overwhelm and step into what really matters most to create your happiest holidays ever.

So I hope you will join me for that. It’s totally free.