Why Moms Need to Travel …
steffani

Why Moms Need to Travel …

I know this will ruffle some feathers.

We’ve all witnessed the soccer field conversations where Moms wear their loyalty like a badge of honor and try and one-up each other about who has gone longer without leaving their kids.   I hate that game, I always lose instantly.

I love to travel alone.  And I have two young kids.  So I’ve heard it all.

The judgments.   “How can you leave for that long?   Kids need their Mommy”. (Said by my Mom MANY times by the way)

The passive aggressive comments.  “Oh I could never leave my kids.  I would just miss them too much.”  (Oh and I apparently am not as loving is that what you mean?)

And the Moms who long for it.  “God I would love to do that.   Teach me how.”

I’m not here to convert anyone.   Or tell anyone how they should parent.   I’m just here to share my beliefs and to inspire the few who might be longing for more to take action on that desire and book a trip.

I believe that Moms should travel.  IF they’re longing for it.   IF it interests them.   IF there are things that they’re really excited about and places they’re dying to visit.

Here’s why I travel…..

I travel to be a better person. 

I mainly travel to conferences and personal growth experiences.   So I mean that very literally.   But even when I’ve traveled just purely for pleasure I feel like I grow as a person and as a Mom.

I travel to have time to deeply look at my life.

When I’m away I have new mental clarity for the vision I have for my life.   I always end up texting my husband some deep, meaningful messages filled with gratitude and big dreams and he always comments….”  you’re in your travel state of mind”.   He’s right.  Because when I’m away and not dealing with all the logistics of parenting I have room to dream.

I travel to sleep through the night without getting up ONCE.

Not much to explain here.  If you have kids….you get it.

I travel to explore new cultures and have new experiences.

My life is enhanced by new experiences and I don’t consider a new store opening or a new movie coming out a NEW experience.

I travel to meet new people who are very different from me.

I have a friend named Juraj from Slovakia.   He’s the smartest man I’ve ever know.   And really positive.   Really happy.   Really healthy.   We just click.  I met him and his amazing  girlfriend Jana at a conference years ago.   It’s one of the most beautiful friendships I’ve ever had.   We’ve traveled together.   My kids adore them.   I couldn’t imagine my life without friends like this.   And I feel like I can only meet them when I travel.

I travel to allow my husband the chance to be fully in charge.

When we were new parents, we had a therapist tell us once.“  Let your husband have one day a week by himself with your son.” It was the best advice we could have been given as new parents.  It really helped me to let go, and him to step up.  When I travel, I arrange A LOT, spreadsheets, sitters, rides to hockey games.  But my husband also has to do a LOT without me.  And that is a good thing.

I travel to be more grateful. 

When I’m away, I long for what I have.   I’m always SO EXCITED to come home.   I can’t wait to tackle my kids and fill their bodies with kisses.   I can’t wait to tackle my husband and fill him with kisses.   I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed and drive my car and take a steam shower.   I love my life and am even MORE grateful for it when I come home from any length trip.

Mainly I travel to come back a new ME.    A new and improved version of myself.   Whether it’s an overnight in the city with my girlfriends or 9 days in Kuala Lumpur to teach a program, I return anew.   How can I not?   New experiences = New reality.

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder.  I say distance makes me a more patient, tolerant and loving mom.  It helps me have more reverence for this life I’ve created.  Even my son’s bedwetting, even my daughter’s potty mouth, even my Mom’s judgmental comments about my travels.   I embrace life in a different way when I get home.   And that alone makes it all so worth it.

Stay tuned for next week’s blog with tips and tricks on how to prepare your family while you travel and to answer the question ….will my kids be ok while I’m away?

Now who wants to travel with me?

Loving this life and travel,

Steffani
Founder and Happiness Coach at www.myhappilife.com
steffani@myhappilife.com

 

How to recover from an EPIC mom fail …
steffani

How to recover from an EPIC mom fail …

Hello friends,

Recently I booked a special trip with my 8 year old son Jack.  We were going to Cancun, Mexico to meet up with friends of mine and help on a service trip.  We were spending 3 days helping to support a Dad with 3 boys and rebuild their house and their lives.

We were SO excited.  Jack was excited to finally join me on some of my favorite work.  And I was excited for Jack to meet some of the most inspiring people in my life and some of my favorite friends.  For him to be in that energy was a dream come true for me.

I woke up at 5 am, bags were packed, grabbed our passports and O! M! G!   My sons passport was expired!!!!!!

Holy SHIT!

Worst Mom EVER.
Worst day EVER.

Have you ever had one of those epic mom fails?  Probably not as big as this one.  This makes missing Zoe’s first recital because you got the day wrong look like peanuts.  Or leaving the hockey equipment at home when you arrive at an away game look like a slight oversight.  Totally forgivable.

This. THIS was a fail of EPIC proportion.

At first I was just going to stay home with him.  Forget the trip all together. How could I possibly go WITHOUT him?  This was planned for US, not just me.  But I was bringing important equipment down for the experience.  More people shouldn’t have to suffer from my fail.

As the reality of the situation hit me I started to shut down.  I went to the airport, found the nearest bathroom and wept.

Why is this happening?
Did I make the right decision?
How could I let this happen?
Will he ever forgive me?
Will my husband ever forgive me?
How can I recover from this?

I wiped my tears, settled down on my flight and made a plan.

Here’s how I chose to recover from this EPIC Mom Fail:

#1.  Stay in the present moment. 
Thinking about what SHOULD have been or could have been was not healthy.  I had to try and stay in the present moment.

#2. Close your eyes and forgive. 
Beating myself up about it wouldn’t help anyone.  It would only make me frustrated, upset and irritable.

#3. Let it go and TRUST the Universe has a bigger plan. 
Elsa is a genius.  When I let it go I started to see why this was meant to be.  As the days unfolded I realized how much more I could do with Jack not there.  It didn’t make up for the missed experience with him but it did profoundly impact these boys lives in a much bigger way than I could have with Jack along.

#4. Safeguard your happiness.
When I first arrived, even with this plan, I was sulking.  All I could do was look around and think about how much better it would be with Jack there.  How much fun he would have.  How it would impact him.  I had to shake it off and do things to bring myself joy.  A walk on the beach.  Morning yoga.  Laughing with friends.  A margarita the size of my head.  Whatever it takes.  Focus on your happiness because it’s your JOB and your job only.  No one else will.

#5.  Make a new plan. 
I talked with Jack and asked him “what can I do to make this up to you?”  We had an overnight in the city, he got a hamster (ewwww, major sacrifice) and there was a visit to Chuckie Cheese (even bigger sacrifice!!!!)  Jack forgave me.  And we’re excited to plan another trip to go on together.

I hope you don’t ever have a Mom fail of epic proportion.  But if you do follow these steps and you’ll hopefully get on the other side of it a little faster.

Share with me, what was YOUR epic Mom fail? Because we’re all in this together and I could use the camaraderie. 🙂

Loving this life, fails and all,
Steffani

Join the OPRF Mom Squad
steffani

Join the OPRF Mom Squad

Mommy friends,

Have you ever felt like the hustle is never ending?  (hello holidays)

Like you can’t keep up with life on so many levels?  (don’t even ask me about missing my daughters first ever recital)

Like your patience is just out of reach…. especially when its bedtime…….. and your kids are fighting……. and they refuse to brush their teeth?!   (um DAILY)

I’ve been there.  Believe me.  The struggle is REAL.

A few years ago I had enough.  I was bound and determined to improve my parenting.  To stop yelling, end the cycle of bad behavior with my kids and myself and finally get this parenting thing down.

Be careful what you wish for.

What transpired after launching that rocket of desire was a divine intervention from Oprah and Dr. Shefali Tsabary.  It was a great awakening that I REALLY needed.

Watch this video for that story…

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Now here I am, on the other side of it.  I’ve been asked to speak about Happiness, Conscious Parenting, how to master manifesting.  I’ve taught workshops for parents and kids to help them shift their limiting beliefs and find more daily happiness.

Believe me, there are still times when I think ‘how did I get here’?  ‘Aren’t I the unconscious parent’?

And yet I still hear the call to share what I have learned.

Recently, I spoke at the Oak Park Women’s Guild.  What an amazing and inspiring group of women!  I talked about Mom Mastery (not actually possible) and how to find more happiness amongst the hustle.  I went over 6 steps that I’ve used to create everything I’ve ever wanted along this Mom journey.  The workshop was well received.  So much so that some of the women asked me to create some on going coaching.

And then OPRF Mom Squad was born.  I’ve been leading masterminds and accountability groups for over 20 years.  They are the #1 thing that has helped me to create immeasurable success in so many areas of my life.  I’ve started 3 businesses, I’m in the best shape of my life, I live in my dream home, and LOVE every inch of it. My husband and I have the closest relationship we’ve ever had in our 20 years together. (Ok maybe not when we picked out our Christmas tree last week, but still…)

And I’m now, finally, really feeling great about my parenting.  A powerful underlying indicator to all the above is our emotional life.  At this point in my life I feel like I’ve found a way to control my reactions. (#momwin)  I now know what to do with my stressful thoughts and how to handle my biggest challenges.  (i.e.: public school and my son Jack) The chutes and ladders are much shorter these days.  They’ll never be gone.  I get that.  But they’re MUCH easier than before.  And that’s all I can hope for.  I love my life.  And I’m really grateful for every moment.  It took work.  But I got there.

I created OPRF Mom Squad to help you get there too.  If you’re interested in joining click here to fill out this form. Or email me with any questions steffani@mylifebook.com 

This powerful mastermind format will hold you accountable to be the Mom you’ve always wanted to be.

To be the Mom your kids need you to be.

It will help you to finally put your fearful thoughts and self doubt and limiting beliefs in place and move powerfully forward into a life you’re proud of.


What Mom Squad IS:

Community: surround yourself with other Moms who are sharing similar experiences raising kids in Oak Park and River Forest. Because you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with and we’re going to up that average.

Accountability: nourish new relationships with women who will hold you accountable to the best version of you that you can be.

Growth: monthly content working on the 6 key strategies to improve your life and happiness.  Because if you don’t, no one else will.

Support: a supportive Facebook community that’s always got your back.

Positive, hopefully and happiness focused:  Happiness is the art of allowing and what we’re all after.  When we focus on our happiness we can raise happiness.


What Mom Squad ISN’T:

Typical:  You will not find your average woman here.  We’re here to live extraordinary lives.  We didn’t come this far to only come this far.

Negative: This is not the place to come to vent and moan about your existing conditions or problems.  There’s a way to search for solutions without complaint.

Stagnant: we will all be taking ACTION to move our lives forward.  No more programs without progress.

Passive: You need to participate in order to make powerful positive change.  Thus the accountability piece. #soimportant

Pushy: You are the master of your own experience, the more you put into it the more you’ll get out of it. But we will not show up at your doorstep to make sure you make the calls.  Unless you want us to. 🙂


How does this awesome program work: 

This is a 6 month long commitment.  We will discuss 1 of the 6 key strategies each month.

January – Awareness The fast track to freedom.  Master your awareness and you will master life.

February – Prime Yourself How you prepare yourself for your day will determine if you’re set up for success in all areas of life.

March – Change Your Thoughts You create your thoughts.  Your thoughts create your intentions.  Your intentions create your reality.  What are your thoughts creating?

April – Take Action Now we’re ready to take downstream action and use the strategies we’ve learned to create new habits.

May – Safeguard Your Happiness This is the art of allowing all your desires in.  Just how happy can you be? Let’s find out!

June – Maintenance How to use all the new tools you have to create powerful LASTING change in your life.


How will this happen:

Through a dynamic Facebook group
Bi weekly Uber conference accountability calls

  • Week 1 Deep dive call into the monthly content with Q and A
  • Week 3 Hot seat coaching with Q and A and accountability

And through your own open, vulnerable willingness to contribute and take action.

Plus monthly IN PERSON get togethers to love on each other face to face.


Cost:

Only $49/month for 6 months. You can cancel at any time if you’re “too busy” (warning limiting belief surfacing) or you’re just not vibing it.

Let’s support each other while we raise our kids and ourselves.

And make this Mom thing even better, together.

Please email Steffani@myhappilife.com to join or for more info.  I’d love to hear where you’re at and see if this mastermind will suit your needs.

Sending you happiness, health, love and positivity,

Steffani