Where’s my TRIBE?!
steffani

Where’s my TRIBE?!

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family.  Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” Jane Howard

We know we need a tribe right?  This is not a new concept.  Jim Rohn taught us that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.  Then why don’t we consciously put effort into our own tribe?  How can we find this clan, network, family?  I’m here to share with you 4 steps that will help you start beating that drum with your new tribe. 

I remember the day I realized that I needed to find my tribe.  Years ago I read The Harvard Grant Study.  It’s a study that spanned over 75 years studying the physical and emotional habits and experiences of 268 Harvard college men. It basically explained that the connections you have with the people closest to you will not only determine how happy you are, but will also determine your level of wealth and success, the longevity and quality of your marriage, your level of health and wellness and how happy and fulfilled you live your life.  That’s pretty much everything.  And it all comes down to the quality of your relationships.  That hit me hard.  I looked around at my closest relationships and realized that 90% of them were not chosen they were convenient.  They consisted of co-workers, neighbors, teammates, gym friends, family members.  And they were fine, even somewhat fulfilling, but were they taking me everywhere I wanted to go in life?  Bottom line was no.  Could they be better?  Hell yes.  So I set out to find my tribe and see how that might enhance my life.  It didn’t take long to find them, and WOW was it a game changer.  I am now determined to create more tribes for women who like myself refuse to settle.  Here are the steps I took that lead me to my tribe. 

Step 1:  Set the right intention

No one finds what they want by setting an intention on what they don’t want.  So first things first, I set out to meet transformational leaders.  I wanted to surround myself with game changers.  People moving humanity forward in some way.  People dreaming big and living big.  If you set an intention to meet nice people, you’ll meet nice people.  Be specific. If you want to meet other parents who love hockey and are into philanthropy, set that intention.  Get clear on who you want to surround yourself with to enhance your life and the Universe will conspire to make it happen.  When I set that intention in February of 2012, I almost immediately heard about a conference called Afest.  I looked it up and WOW, that was my dream tribe.  They met every criteria I set in my intention.  This tribe was made up of dream big entrepreneurs, transformational leaders in every way, game changers and badass visionaries.  These people were living extraordinary lives in all areas.  I wanted IN.  And the Universe responded.  Later that year I attended my first Afest.  I’ve now been to 5 Afests in beautiful, tropical locations all over the world, and I have to say what keeps me going back is not the experience, it’s the tribe. Since knowing this tribe I created accountability groups and masterminds with some of these amazing people and because of those I’ve started 2 new businesses.  I’ve had more epic experiences and raised my quality of life more than I ever thought possible.  And most importantly I know that no matter where I am in the world I can find an Afester who’s got my back.  All of this started with a clear intention. 

Step 2: Look near and far

We tend to look for like minded people in our own backyard and that’s very possible, but thanks to social media and the internet we can find our tribe anywhere on the planet.  Stay open to how your tribe might show up and don’t be surprised if you meet a tribe member on the beach in Mykonos or at your local grocery store.  You have to stay open and search near and far.  Consider joining a Facebook group focused on your interests, look at your local bookstore, church or library for events that light you up inside.  Also try www.grouponlive.com, www.dabble.com   and www.meetup.com great recourses for local events covering a variety of interests. 

I recently attended a documentary film event at my local movie theater.  The documentary was about different school systems.  I arrived late and it was already dark.  The movie was very moving and really spoke to me.  When it ended I stood up applauding and when the lights came on I saw about 60 other people standing and clapping.  I looked around with a big smile and thought “ahhhh, here’s my local tribe”.  You never know where you might find them.

Step 3: Put yourself out there

How is anyone supposed to know that you’re into healing with essential oils if you never tell anyone?  We have to find a way to go deeper, be vulnerable and share our interests with others.  Sure it’s easy to attend an essential oils party and share with them but how can you find others when not in that environment?  My husband and I went on a cruise down the Rhine River with his work and we didn’t know anyone else on the trip.  Instead of just keeping to ourselves, which was our first instinct, I set an intention to meet some like minded people.  I found myself sitting next to the same women a few times, we had polite conversation and then something whispered to me to go deeper.  So I asked her what she was passionate about.  And that simple question opened the floodgates.  We started talking about life, love and happiness.  We talked about books we loved. We had a lot in common and we practically had an identical library at home.  It enhanced our trip in immeasurable ways to connect with someone on a deeper level.  Someone who speaks a similar language.  And thanks to social media we’re still in touch to this day.  So be vulnerable, go deeper, put yourself out there and you’ll meet more of your own. 

Step 4: Focus on what you believe

As I mentioned earlier this idea of a tribe sparked interest in creating my own tribe.  And thus, OPRF Mom Squad was born.

This Mom Mastermind is  a call to action for Mom’s who are ready to live a life they love again.  But it’s not based solely on things we have in common.  It’s based on what we BELIEVE.   If you look for people who have similar beliefs you’ll find an even deeper connection than if you look for those with similar interests.  You’ll find multiple ways to move your lives forward together.

Here’s a few of the basics that we believe in our OPRF Mom Squad: 

We believe that with the right mindset anything (and everything) is possible

We believe that we are 100% responsible for your reality

We believe in radical self love and self care

We believe a tribe of like-minded women is essential to extraordinary living

We believe it’s our job to safeguard our happiness

We believe in taking daily ACTION to be the best Mom we can be

We believe in finding as much joy along the journey as possible

We believe everything you need exists WITHIN you…it just needs the right supportive squad to bring it out

If you’d like to join this tribe of unstoppable Moms fill out this form and let’s get started….. We officially start Jan 4th and space is limited.

If you’re ready to meet your tribe and you follow these 4 steps be sure to buckle your seat belt.  And be prepared if you set out on this journey to leave what no longer serves you behind.  With a solid tribe on your side you’ll make a lot of powerful positive changes in your life.  Your current life might be unrecognizable in just a few months.  And you’ll see what the Harvard Grant Study proves, that life is better with a tribe. 

What I am MOST grateful for…..you’ll be surprised by the answer
steffani

What I am MOST grateful for…..you’ll be surprised by the answer

Hi my friend,

With Thanksgiving around the corner we’ve been talking a lot about what we’re grateful for. We have a big chalk board in our kitchen above our sink and we’ve been writing daily what we’re thankful for.

I know I’m supposed to say I’m most grateful for my family. And believe me I am. I’m not THAT person.

But there’s something I’m even more grateful for. No, not my husband, (sorry honey) or my Mom (please don’t ground me).

It’s actually accountability.

Ok hear me out. I’ve been in masterminds and accountability groups for over 20 years. Most of them I’ve been running. Accountability has been ESSENTIAL in my success. It’s honestly made me who I am as a woman, and as a parent.

Sure my Mom helped with that too. But with that alone and no accountability I’d be a totally different Mom. And my husband is ABSOLUTELY responsible for the love and abundance I have in my life. But without the accountability and the groups and the people in them I don’t know that I would have been ready to be the person I am and therefore marry him and have kids.

So you see I LITERALLY have accountability to thank for EVERYTHING.

 

My first accountability group was an actors group that I started right after college. I majored in Theater and didn’t know any other actors in Chicago. So I started a group. This was before the internet. Wow, how is that possible.?! So I put up a sign at a local acting school and asked people to join my group. We met monthly and held each other accountable for things we wanted to accomplish in the business. It was a HUGE success. The biggest one had 30 people attending for a few months. And it’s still an active group now, over 20 years later. I don’t run it anymore. Or even attend. But it’s still a group, now on meetup.com, that I started in my living room. I still stay in touch with a lot of people who I met in that group. Many of who are still working actors. I started another mastermind group after I attended Afest in 2012. The group was made up of 12 of my favorite entrepreneurs. We had 3 things in common. We’d all been to Afest. We had all attended a program called Lifebook. And we all had an abundant mentality. That group was 100% responsible for me starting my coaching business. If it wasn’t for them I would still be saying “I should start my own thing..”

Through more accountability groups I’ve now started 3 businesses, I’m in the best shape of my life, I signed a big commercial deal, I completed a ½ ironman, landed my dream job, landed my next dream job, booked dream speaking gigs at conferences and retreats, filled my private client base, bought my dream home, and I can say I finally after 8 years and after massive accountability understand my kids and feel really solid in my parenting. What what?!

Needless to say ACCOUNTABILITY can completely change your life for the better.

Do you have one?!

You NEED one.

Now that you’re hopefully convinced let me share some simple steps you can take to

starting your own mastermind group.

Step 1. Find 3 or more people with a common goal or similar interests
2 people does not make a mastermind. You can have 1 person hold you accountable but trust me, it doesn’t create a mastermind dynamic. 3 or more is ideal. 20 is usually max.

Step 2. Choose the date and time
Will you meet weekly or monthly? I found weekly is ideal if you’re trying to create the most impact.

Step 3. Create an agenda
This is key. You need a productive agenda for the whole group to follow. Happy to suggest a few. Email me if you’re interested in hearing more.

Step 4. STICK TO THE AGENDA
Can you tell by the all caps that this one is important? 

Step 5. Celebrate your success.
Continue to encourage each other. Celebrating every little win along the way. Showing up for weekly meets is a win in my book. So CELEBRATE.

It’s really that simple. And it can create the most powerful positive change in your life that you’ve ever imagined.

I have a new OPRF Mom Squad accountability group starting in January. If you’d like to join us please email me and I’ll send you more details. This group will be all about community, accountability (of course), growth, support and happiness. You WILL come out on the other side of this group with more daily happiness than you ever thought possible. Hope to hear from you.

Holding you accountable,

Steffani

I Cry Everyday
steffani

I Cry Everyday

I cry every day….

People who know me will not be surprised to read this. 

But I honestly cry EVERY DAY. 

I don’t cry out of sadness or anger or upset.  Sure I have as many challenges as anyone else in this life.  I have stresses and frustrations and family members who are ill.  But still, that’s not why I cry.

Every day I cry for a different reason. 

I used to feel ashamed of my tears.  My deep emotions.  I wanted to be less emotional.  I used to work at controlling my emotions and tried hard for years to keep my tears in check. 

Until one day a woman in a workshop who sat along side me took my face in her hands when my eyes filled with tears and said “I wish I could FEEL like you do”.

It hit me, that some people don’t get to FEEL all this. 

And I shifted. 

I felt grateful.

And I cried. 

I then decided to let it all out.  To live loud and proud in my tears.  And to share with people why I cry.  I’m sure I still look over emotional.  It might make people uncomfortable.  But at this point in my life, I don’t care. 

I still cry. 

I cry every day.  And here’s why…

I cry because this life is pure magic.

I cry out of gratitude for every breath.

I cry for beauty.

I cry at art.

I cry when I see moments of kindness.

I cry when I hear beautiful music.

I cry when I sing.

I cry when I reflect on life in the shower.

I cry when I say goodbye to a friend.

I cried eating a blueberry muffin at Starbucks once.  That was really really good. 

I cry at commercials.

I cry watching my kids sleep.

I cry when I travel.  When I fly through the air and look out the window. 

I cry when I walk into a church.

My husband jokes that I cry at mall openings.  I have never cried at a mall opening. 

But I have cried at the opening of the Olympics.  And the closing ceremonies. 

And my sons soccer game yesterday.

Basically I cry when I feel connected.  I cry when I FEEL this life.  When I feel alive. 

Unapologetically I cry.  And I look forward to the moments in my day, those vulnerable, beautiful, tear-filled moments where my heart feels so full I can hardly breath. 

When I sip air in through my nose and my eyes well up with tears.  Only to be sucked back in moments later when I compose myself.  It was a moment of sheer bliss.  A moment of REAL life.  To feel alive.  And grateful.  And connected. 

I’ve never counted how many times I’ve cried in a day.  But I might start now.  And I invite you to start with me.  Can we FEEL alive and connected 2 times, 5 times, 10 times a day?  I’m willing to try.

This is LIFE.  This is really living. 

Cry with me.