How to Create A New Path that Leads to Your Vision of Life
steffani

How to Create A New Path that Leads to Your Vision of Life

How do you shift your thinking when it falls out of alignment? That is bound to happen now and then.

Up until now, we’ve been operating in our lives by following our habits.  Those habits have created a path in the forest that is our mind.

I’ve created a path for myself through that forest. It takes me to a clearing which had a certain level of contentment and happiness.  It included some frustration and dissatisfaction in my relationships.

The same can be said about my health and fitness.  The path had taken me to where I was and I wasn’t satisfied.

If I want to get to a new clearing, to the beautiful new meadow over there, I have no choice but to create a new path.  I have to blaze a new trail.

The same path that I’ve already worn, that’s already been created and the one I’ve always followed, is not going to get me to the beautiful meadow.  I desperately want to reach the clearing in the forest that holds all the lovely flowers of my relationship, the beautiful trees of my parenting and the babbling brook of my health and fitness along with the pretty butterflies for my business.

What do you really want?

I want to show up as the best mom that I can be.

A really epic love relationship is something I desire. I want to be so connected to my husband and have great sex. I want to fall in love with him over and over again, every day.

I want to be in the best shape of my life and be in a bikini all the time and be rocking my body at 48 years old.

My mission is to help and to serve more women.  I want to show women that life’s not all suffering. I want to help them live the life of their dreams and I want to do that in a big way. I want to help young girls know that they can be, do and have anything they want in their life.  I want to help more women step out of their feelings of overwhelm and step into more daily lasting happiness.

I want to create a community of women around me that are so badass and so amazing that they support every huge dream we share and celebrate every win – both massive and minuscule.

I want to be close with my family, close with my friends and community that live locally and connected to friends and community that live all around the world.

I want to travel and have epic experiences.

Those awesome and amazing elements are all features of the meadow in the forest that I have to get to.

What does your meadow look like?

Everyone’s is a little different.

Stephanie two point zero wants to go down the path to the new clearing. But here’s the thing, new tools are necessary to dig through the forest to get to that clearing. There’s not a worn-down easy path from here to there.

There’s a worn-down easy path that got me to the place in my life that I’ve always lived in.  It’s an old and familiar clearing.  That clearing wasn’t so pretty.  It held the weeds of frustration and the dying tree stumps of overwhelm and yelling. I was yelling at my kids all the time.  I was on the path of least resistance, one where I felt I wasn’t enough and where I was willing to settle for a crummy relationship.

That path has already well-worn and dug out and easy to follow because I’ve thought those thoughts over and over and over again.

So now I want to get to a new place.  The beautiful meadow that I know is there because I planned out the new clearing. I can see it through the trees because I’ve been doing a little bit of work and I’ve been getting clear about what I really want.

How do I get to the new place?

I need tools to start chopping down the trees and the overgrowth.  I need to break a new trail and clear the way.

Those exact tools are the ones I’ll be sharing with you in Badass Life Intensive. We’re going to talk about canceled processes and gratitude and your state and getting into the feeling place and how to best use all these new tools.

Your Tool-Belt Will Be Full

You’ll be picking up this ax and that sledgehammer and you’ll be chopping through the underbrush and cutting away the trees on your way to your beautiful meadow.

Here’s what I’ve found as I’ve begun to blaze a trail through the forest to the new meadow:  There are a lot of trees that need to be cleared and another big tree up there that takes a LOT of work and energy and then just when I think I’m through, Holy Shit, there’s a path over here that’s a lot easier to follow and I tend to jump back onto the worn down path that’s already cleared and easy to follow.

We have to remember that the simple path will not get us to that clearing.

The things that you’ve done in the past, the thoughts that occupied your mind and the feelings you felt are not going to get you to the big desired end result.

The beautiful meadow is over there.  We’ve got to think new thoughts. We’ve got to do different things and that might mean getting out your journal and writing about what you really want.  It might mean joining this program and inviting a friend to come along for the journey.  It will mean doing the homework, writing new affirmations and stating them every morning.  It will mean utilizing all these new tools in your tool-belt that I’m going to teach you.

But Guess What?  It’ll be worth it.

It will all work beautifully because new patterns and habits will be formed and a new path through the forest to the pristine meadow will be forged.

Once you create your new path, it gets easier to follow.

Meanwhile, the old path becomes so overgrown that it’s impossible to follow that one.  You don’t want to go down that path anymore.

Setbacks may still occur and you may just find yourself slugging it out on the old path, but you won’t stay there long.  It’s harder to keep digging yourself out.  You’ll find your way back to the new path even quicker next time.  You’ll use your new tools and clear a new way forward.

Learn more about the Badass Life Intensive here. 

I’ll see you there.

 

Here’s the Secret to Living Your Dream
steffani

Here’s the Secret to Living Your Dream

If you think that there’s no place for your dream in the world…

If you believe that there’s no way that you can DO what you want…

If you feel you can’t HAVE the career you ultimately want…

If you’ve ever thought that there’s no way you can do what you love…

Then I want to introduce you to Hector.

Hector loved hawks.  He had a connection with birds as a young boy but when he was old enough to enter the work force, there were no jobs out there where he could work with birds.

What do you think Hector did?

Exactly.  He created one.

Hector started training hawks and falcons.  And then, he took it a step further.  Hector started a business where he brought his trained birds to luxury resorts for the purposes of keeping other aggressive birds away from the guests.

Yep…that simple. Hector saw a need. And he filled it. By doing what he loved.

Hector is living his dream.  Since he followed his passion, he has a large staff of  his own, a whole aviary filled with trained hawks and falcons and his operation has gone international.  It serves luxury resorts in both Mexico and Spain.

Hector stands in the sun. With his hawk, Jason on his arm.  He talks to him. Feeds him. Hector works with Jason every day.  Jason even accompanies Hector home and stays in his house every night.

Hector does what he loves. And it’s so incredibly unique.

Don’t tell Hector you can’t ______(insert that career you’ve been dying to do but don’t believe is possible).  Hector knows it’s possible.

And guess what?  Anything is possible! You just have to believe it, align with it and take action towards it.

What’s your dream?

 

You truly deserve the life of your dreams AND to be a Badass Mom, too! You CAN have it ALL. I’m living proof. The Badass Mom Mindset Mini Retreat is going on NOW! But you can still get in! Join Here

How to Have Awareness.  Radical Acceptance. Gratitude. in your Life
steffani

How to Have Awareness.  Radical Acceptance. Gratitude. in your Life

I feel like I’m showing up as a completely different person so I want to share with you a big confession that is something that I realized on this trip to Mexico for New Year’s.

I’ve realized that the limiting beliefs that we have can be sneaky.  They can even show up as things that are good for us.  While I’ve been here, I’ve been exploring my thoughts and beliefs and thinking about what’s been holding me back.  I’ve been contemplating:   What is your predominant thought right now?

What are you thinking about? Our thoughts create. Our thoughts or words are what we give our energy and attention to, what we focus on.

I’m constantly monitoring my thinking.  Do any thoughts of lack, worry or fear sneak into my mind?  Do thoughts of struggle, stress or strife enter to hold me back?

What I didn’t realize is that I’m constantly thinking about food, what I ate, and about my weight and it’s possibly even disguised as something that’s good for me.  I’m planning that I want to eat healthy meals and that I want to optimize my health and fitness and those thoughts are on my mind all the time.

  • Was it healthy enough?
  • What will I eat next?
  • What if I gain some weight?

It’s totally insane.

Since I’ve been exploring my thoughts, making myself consciously aware of them, I couldn’t help but wonder why I’m feeling bad about my food choices, even though I make healthy ones about 80% of the time.

I’m still fretting about the 20%

That’s where the limiting belief comes into play – the one that’s holding me back so massively.  I’m focusing on what’s not healthy and creating more stress in my body.  I’m creating more weight around my belly. I’m creating more body image issues.

Instead of loving my 48-year-old body and strutting around in a bikini with confidence, I’m thinking “I want to lose two more pounds to lose two more pounds to lose two more pounds.”

Amazingly, I’ve never even put words to these thoughts because it sounds so extreme. If I’m honest about it though, I’m operating in a total state of lack and completely obsessed with it.

I realized how completely unhealthy and limiting these thoughts were that I even had a conversation with my husband about it.  I expressed that I have a confession and revealed to him that I’m thinking about my weight and what I’m eating all the time.  He’s was in complete disbelief.

Of course, these realizations don’t mean that I should stop thinking about optimizing health, choosing superfoods and eating healthy, or about how I can get into great shape.  I must stop focusing on the lack.

Here’s a rule I thought I was applying but was clearly failing at: 

Don’t eat it or don’t beat yourself up about it, but never do both.

I mean, eating the ice cream at the pool on vacation with the kids is great.  That’s a decision I made.  I bought the treat, consumed it and rather than following the rule, I let myself feel like shit about it, second guessing my choice.  I even caught myself trying to figure out the other things I wouldn’t eat to make up for it, counting the calories and imagining where the indulgence will land on my body.

Just don’t eat it if you’re going to do that, don’t eat it.

What am I going to do here with this awareness?

I think recognizing the problem and bringing it to the forefront, talking with my husband about it and sharing this confession with you guys is a beautiful beginning.

First, there’s the awareness of the conflict.

Second, is the radical acceptance around it – understanding that there’s a discrepancy and trying to figure out how I got here.

I landed exactly where I am from wanting to optimize my health and fitness and to be in the best shape of my life.  I get that it’s limiting me because the more I think about the problem of all that’s not the way I want it to be, I think about how my health is not optimized and focus on what’s lacking.

Finally, I figure the third thing is a level of gratitude and forgiveness, gratitude for my body.

I came to these revelations a few days ago and knew I’d share them with you but I just sat yesterday in my bikini at the pool and then on the beach in a different way than I have recently because I just had more radical acceptance and more gratitude for my body.

I’ll even reveal that when I look at other women, yes, I see their stretch marks or their curves and then love every bit. I never judge.  It’s amazing that I think other women’s bodies are more beautiful when they’re imperfect, yet I think my imperfections need to change.

And it’s so funny.  Ladies, I hope you can relate to this. It’s exactly why I’m sharing in such great detail here…it’s two fricken pounds that I’m obsessing about!  2 Pounds.

Last year I did a body fat test with my doctor, where they calculate your fat mass and your muscle mass.  I did it again just recently and I actually weighed two pounds less and I STILL wanted to lose two more pounds even though I’d lost four pounds of fat and gained two pounds of muscle mass between the two tests.  AND I’M STILL OBSESSING OVER 2 POUNDS.

Nobody sees those 2 pounds on me but I feel like people do.  Our thoughts can be so insane.

Awareness.  Radical Acceptance. Gratitude.

The last element to shift is the negative thought.

Becoming conscious of the thoughts:

  • What am I going to eat today?
  • What am I going to achieve today?
  • What did I eat last night? Did I indulge?
  • I shouldn’t have had that drink…
  • I shouldn’t have eaten that _________.

And then shifting those thoughts into the next step.   

Here’s what I started doing over the last 48 hours after finally digging up this sneaky limiting belief that was disguised as something healthy and good. (NOT)   I began considering how I can serve more women because of these revelations and how I am enough.

So my immediate shift is to ask “How may I serve?”

Instead, I began planning and picturing all the ways I could do that: other books to write, programs to create, speaking and serving and retreats and my mind just took flight.  Suddenly, there’s a more fun and positive place to go with my thoughts. Yes… I’m going to shift to a Happi Place.

The simple and most beautiful way to shift is with the belief that I am enough.

I am enough.  And isn’t it as true that I am enough?  Yes.  Is it as true that everything I’ve been eating and everything I’m doing and all the workouts are enough? Yes, that is so true.  I just haven’t been acknowledging that truth.

Instead, I’ve been focusing on what’s missing, on what could be better. Could it be better?  Yes.

 Is it enough?  The answer is again, ‘Yes.’

So I am going to consciously choose to focus on being enough.  I am enough.  Every workout I have is enough. Even my thoughts around it are enough.  I’m going to have radical acceptance around it and find the enoughness.

So those are my two ideas of how I can shift the negative, limiting beliefs and I promise you these things are going to help me to show up with so much more confidence and certainty.  And guess what?  Certainty and confidence are sexy.  Once I’d made these decisions, I was walking around yesterday in my bikini on the beach and by the pool with total acceptance of my body, too extra pounds and all of my beloved imperfections and I guarantee, I looked like a different person.

Ladies, when you show up with that kind of energy, you’re unstoppable.  

So that was my confession today and I’m wondering if you can relate to it at all.

I’d love to hear if you can find any sneaky hidden limiting beliefs.  What is the constant little voice in the background saying to you?  Does it have something to say about your body?  Maybe it has to do with your relationship instead?  Are you entirely secure there?  Your finances, maybe?  Is it around your parenting? Sometimes they show up, but in disguise.

I encourage you to keep digging them up.  Uncovering those limiting beliefs, revealing them for what they are.

This has been an awesome experience for me. I’m so grateful for this vacation and for the opportunity to come to this realization because I know that I can turn it around and I’ll let you know how it’s going if you’ll let me know how I can support you.

I hope you have a great day. Love to you from paradise.

 

http://badassmommindset.com/If you’d like some more tools to help you with this particular dilemma, I have a 21-Day Bad Ass Mom Mindset program starting on January 21st.  It’s only $11 to get registered and you’ll get 21 days worth of awesome tools plus more powerful, positive belief mindset talks.