Overcoming the Challenges of being Mom with a Morning Routine
steffani

Overcoming the Challenges of being Mom with a Morning Routine

I get it. I so get it.  Life can be hard.

Life can be tough at any time, but as a mom it’s especially so.  We have these whole other layers of guilt, fear, shame busyness and overwhelm simply because we’re a mom.

Being fully and completely responsible for so much more than just ourselves takes a toll on us.

Thankfully, I have a great morning routine.  Each morning, I have a process that I follow to get myself into an awesome state first so I can handle the challenges that’ll come my way every day as a busy mom.

I’ll share what happened to me the other morning:

An introductory call was set up and on my schedule with a gentleman in Bali.  I knew he was considering involving me in his upcoming project as a Law of Attraction Coach and I was very excited to learn more about it.

30 minutes before the call, I made the mistake of deciding to wash and brush my daughter’s hair.  She has super curly hair and hates to brush it out so it’s always a big task.  As I was doing her hair, I was thinking to myself, “Oh, my gosh, what am I thinking?”

Just as I finished up, the call comes in and I had to rush my daughter out of the room.  Of course, she didn’t think we were finished and took to banging on the other side of the door for my attention.  All she wanted was for me to braid a lock of her hair but her timing was way off.

I had to retreat into my Morning Routine

Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Stay Calm.

It turned out to be a wonderful call.  At the end of it, I won the result I was after:  the man from Bali invited me to be a coach on his amazing documentary that’ll teach women how to manifest their ideal life vision.  How perfect is that?  Can you feel how excited I am about it?

As soon as we finished up the call, I went to check on my daughter and ask if she was OK. By that time though, she’d completely forgotten what she was upset about.  When I asked her if she wanted a piece of her hair braided, she came back with “Oh yeah, no big deal.”

Just to amp up the stress factor, we also had an overflowing toilet this morning.

Plus our stolen car that went missing a couple of weeks ago, was just found last night.

Sometimes I feel like if it’s going to happen, it’ll happen to me.

So I get it. That all happened.  So much stress.

I have just as many challenges as any Mom out there.

What I wanted to share with you today is that I’ve found a way to move through those challenges with as much peace and joy as possible.

I know that you totally get it and I totally get you.

You are not alone!  That’s what the Badass Mom Society is all about. I would love to hear from you there!

 

How To Shift Your Shit
steffani

How To Shift Your Shit

I Get Triggered.

OFTEN.

I have as many challenges as anyone I know.  Sometimes, it feels like more.

Even though I do this “work” that I love and I’m constantly working on myself, my inner peace and happiness, I still get angry.  Mistakes are still made.  My temper still gets lost.  The result:  I show up as a wounded version of myself.

As much as I try to be that monk on the hill and let all things roll off my back, to be completely honest, it doesn’t always happen. I try to channel my inner Nelson Mandela but sometimes I just can’t.

What I Do Know

There’s one thing I DO know how to do in those situations.

I know how to Course Correct.

For starters, I’m aware of the situation.  I’m not blindly raging, thinking it’s everyone else’s fault.  I know it’s my own challenge.  I know it’s about me and no-one else but ME.  I Own It! 

That is to say that I can identify when I’m triggered and I know that it’s entirely my responsibility NOT to get triggered.   It’s certainly not the world’s responsibility not to trigger me.

Above all, I know that I’m in control of my reactions. No one makes me mad.  I chose to get mad.  No one hurts me, I allow myself to be hurt or feel pain.

I’m either taking things personally or I’m in my own lane. I’m in my business or their business. What they do or say has nothing to do with me. Unless I let it.

So I find peace in my Course Corrections.  I am in complete control.

Every Day

I try to course correct as quickly as possible. So that my moments of peace are long and luscious and my moments of despair are fewer and far between.

The faster I can course correct, the quicker I can return to the true essence of who I am.

HOW exactly do I course correct?

I do the work on my thoughts and follow these steps:

  • Consciously shift into a state of gratitude to recognize all of the goodness surrounding me
  • Cancel the negative thought and reach for a better-feeling one
  • Move into an appreciation for my life and even for the situation because there is always something to learn

My happiness depends on it.

One more thing I know for sure: This life is worth it. It’s too important.  Walking around wounded and resentful only wastes my time.  Drinking poison and thinking other people will die, I know better.  And DO better, as soon as I can get there.

Course correcting now,

Steff

Dealing with loss…
steffani

Dealing with loss…

Jan 19th, 1982 was the worst day of my life. It will probably always be.

My sister who was 18 at the time died in a car accident.

Looking back on that day I realized her death rocked our family to the core.  It tore up our foundation.  We didn’t know how to operate without her in our lives.  The grief was so heavy and dark, I didn’t know if we would ever survive it.

I was 11 years old when she died, my young innocent heart was crushed.  It’s amazing how 1 day can change your life forever.  I prayed so hard when she got hurt.  I promised God EVERYTHING if he left my sister here.  I remember pleading with him and begging him to help her, to help us and to keep her here.  When she died I felt cheated. I felt robbed. And I was mad.

I remember crying so hard every night that I could feel my tears soak through the other side of the pillow.

My parents were divorced, my oldest sister was dead. I felt lost and invisible.  My family was shattered.  Mom was suffering, literally drowning in grief.  What else could she do? A single mom dealing with the sudden loss of her oldest child.  Now with kids of my own, I can only imagine.

It was a dark night of the soul for our family.  I can’t remember how long it took us to breath again.  But we did.  We did breath again.  We even danced.

When you lose a sibling.  Your life is forever changed.  In the obvious negative ways.  A lot of heartache.  Learning about loss so young.  Longing and aching for that life with your sibling back.  Rebelling because life was unfair and God didn’t do as you asked and spare your sister.

But it’s also forever changed in positive ways.  You feel love from friends and family and even strangers that you’ve never felt before.  That you never imagined possible.  People come out of the woodwork to help you and your family overcome this grief.  They feel closer to you because you’re so raw and vulnerable.  New friendships emerge.  You get to experience things you may never have experienced.  You can forever help other people with loss and heartbreak because you dealt with it first hand.

And most importantly you learn to keep your family close.  It can bring you closer together instead of shattering your foundation.

Every Jan 19th we get together, to celebrate the family that’s still here, and to celebrate Traci and the time we had with her.

It’s never an easy day.  But it does help me reflect on how we got through our grief.

If you’re going through a dark night of the soul, keep going.   You will breath again.

Here’s a few tips I feel helped me when going through that tunnel.

#1. Feel all your feelings.

Treat them as gently as possible.  Feel them. Honor that feeling.  And then move on.  Try and climb up the emotional guidance scale.  Don’t try to feel ‘HAPPY’ instantly, just try to feel 1 degree better.

#2. Focus on what you DO want.

Think of the end result.  Think of your life in a few years and play it out in a positive way.  Think of what would be IDEAL.  The peace, the comfort, the love and support. Even the normalcy back again.  Think about THAT and let it pull you there.

#3. Give it away to a higher power.

My favorite prayer.  “Dear God, I release this situation to you, and I know it won’t result in pain, I give it away for you to create the greatest good for everyone involved”. Letting a higher power take over can feel really good.  Sometimes we forget there’s more help out there than we’re tapping into.

#4. Do what makes you feel GOOD.

It’s more important than ever to feel good.  A walk on the beach.  That coffee you love.  Laughing with a friend.  Getting a mani pedi.  Putting on your favorite song. DANCING.  Yes dancing.  Do things that make you feel good.  It will help pull you forward.  It’s sometimes the last thing you want to do but it’s the most important. Remember no amount of pain and suffering changes the past.  So feel GOOD as much as possible.  And the other side of the tunnel will be here before you know it.

And lastly, if you need any support through your loss I’m here for you.

You’re not alone. You will get through this. It does get easier.

Focusing on the good,
Steffani

Founder and Happiness Coach at www.myhappilife.com
steffani@myhappilife.com