How I Apply the Magic Formula of Determination + Accountability
steffani

How I Apply the Magic Formula of Determination + Accountability

Today’s situation… I had workout clothes on since 7 am, trying desperately to squeeze in a workout ALL day. I reached out to 15-20 (literally) babysitters to watch the kids so John and I could go out to dinner. I juggled work, play, kids, dog, lunch, parks, cousins, sugar highs, tired kids, etc. At one point I couldn’t  remember the last time I ate.  This is a VERY typical Saturday. Or any day. 

One thing I’ve learned in my journey of personal growth and expansion is… 

Determination + Accountability = Magic formula 

With determination I can get my workouts in. I am ALWAYS ALWAYS finding ways to hold myself accountable or have others hold me accountable. In this case I have an accountability group that I told I would workout hard 5 times this week. So now I HAVE to workout today. I already missed one day. Tomorrow is no guarantee. I need the drive and I need the accountability. So I squeezed in a workout: 25 minutes of running, jump squats and push-ups while running an errand. Perfection. 

AND….

I found a sitter on attempt number 21 about an hour before our dinner reservation. 

I. Was. Determined. And I was held accountable by that same group. I told them I would plan a fun date night by the end of the week.  I feel Iike these 2 things in combination are highly underrated.  I could have given up on sitter request number 8 or when dinner plans were only 2 hours away but I didn’t.  I kept texting John and our friends that I was “getting closer”. 

Listen, I want to be held accountable for things that will move my life forward. I’ve danced around going on weekly date nights for years. I said I wanted to but didn’t do it. I tried for a while but then let stuff with the kids get in the way. But I know all too well how much it enhances our relationship. 

So excuses be gone.  I want YOU to hold me accountable for a weekly date night. And we can all witness as my relationship improves. Who’s with me? Want in?

Determination + Accountability = Magic

I Broke Down In Tears
steffani

I Broke Down In Tears

Yesterday I broke down in tears. It was a long day with the kids. Zoe got mad and threw something that hit me in the face. That’s what triggered it but not why I cried. I cried because I fell into an old pattern. An old story that used to creep up on me all the time. That story is…”it’s really hard to parent my kids.” 

And here’s all the evidence I’ve built up behind that story:

They’re explosive. 

They fight a lot. 

They have a hard time in school. 

They never stop moving. Or taking. Or whining. 

They are very needy. 

And just exhausting. 

That story took over as I cried in my room. With a lot of self defeating thoughts. 

“This is too hard.”

“I’m not good at this.”

“They’re so hard to parent.”

“Why can’t this be easier?” 

“I’m a terrible mom!”

These feelings swept over me. But not for long. I’ve been doing this work for too long to let this old pattern reemerge. I know not to believe and buy into the thoughts that don’t serve me. I can use them as fuel to make positive change. In this instance to create some boundaries with Zoe around how she treats people. But I can’t let stressful thoughts spiral out of control. Or they’ll start to define me. They’ll define us. 

“It’s the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

Aristotle was right. When we know how to let the thoughts that don’t serve us pass us by we can find more peace and love the people closest to us. 

This is powerful work we’re up to. Feel it. Honor it. But then don’t believe it. Choose the thoughts that empower you and support your growth. They’re always available. 

Believe in yourself, but not in your thoughts.  I believe in you,

 

How You Can Get Through These Hard Times With More Stability And Strength.
steffani

How You Can Get Through These Hard Times With More Stability And Strength.

It’s not easy to ride this roller coaster of emotions. Sharing a few tips here how you can get through these hard times with more stability and strength. Plus a suggestion… check in with your friends. Especially your extrovert friends. This is hard on us all and it might be harder on your strong friends then you think. Go easy on yourself and others.

I also wanted to share a process I’ve been using to boost my mornings. I call these 8 Power Questions. I write them in my journal every morning or in the notes on my phone after gratitude and meditation. Here are the questions: 

Morning

  1. A ‘big message’ I need to remind myself of and keep uppermost in my mind today is…
  1. The 3 goals/objectives I am most committed to completing today are… 
  1. Today I’m most committed to experiencing myself as… 
  1. What is most likely to get in the way/pull me off track from accomplishing my goals and feeling how I want to feel is…
  1. My plan for when that ☝☝☝☝ happens is…
  1. ONE action I could take today to stretch myself and get a LITTLE uncomfortable is…
  1. ONE action I can take to get outside and/or find some joy today is…
  1. I will know that today had been a successful day because…

(What would you have had to have done, experienced or felt?)

Try these out in the morning and see if it sets your day up for success and stay tuned for an evening process… 

Please let me know if there’s anything I can do, from my home to yours, to support you on this journey.

Come from love. Stay safe. Stay healthy. Stay positive. This too shall pass. #wevegotthis

 

Finding joy,

Steffani