The 5 Biggest Regrets People Have Before They Die
steffani

The 5 Biggest Regrets People Have Before They Die

This last week I’ve been doing a lot of small group coaching.  And a common theme has been creeping in…. regrets.

It’s something we often don’t reflect on until it’s too late.

 

And while reflecting I came across this article by John-Paul Iwuoha.

The 5 Biggest Regrets People Have Before They Die

 

What he shared in the article was…

Bronnie Ware – an Australian nurse and counselor – took care of terminally ill people, most of whom had less than 12 weeks to live.   As part of therapy, Bronnie would ask about any regrets they had about their lives, and anything they would do differently.  Of all the responses she got from her patients, she noticed there were 5 regrets that stood out.

 

These were the most common regrets her patients wished they hadn’t made:

 

1) I wish I pursued my dreams and aspirations, and not the life others expected of me

I think the biggest lesson from this regret is, if you know what really makes you happy, do it!  (Follow your bliss…)

 

2) I wish I didn’t work so hard

No surprise here.  We don’t often wish at the end of our lives that we had spent more time at work.  People often wish they had put more focus on other things including their relationships, their health and their spirituality.  In short…DO….IT….NOW!

 
3) I wish I had the courage to express my feelings and speak my mind

Emotional intelligence….wow.  Game changer.  This to me means also “I wish I had taken more time to work on ME.”  Because when we do the work, we get stronger.  Period.  We have firmer boundaries, and we can express our needs.

 
4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

Social life = HUGE!  More proof that the Harvard Grant study was right.  Having close friendships can be SO IMPORTANT.   Make it that way.

 
5) I wish I had let myself be happier

When we realize that happiness is a choice and we put conscious effort into it that can lead to an incredibly fulfilling life.   Safeguard your happiness like it’s a precious treasure!

 

You know I’m a happiness coach right?! (cough cough) #shamelessplug

 

So I ask you…are there any REGRETS that you don’t want to die with?  

Are you spending too much time working?

Putting work in front of family, friends, relationships?

Are you making money your priority?  

Are there adjustments you can make in your life to change any of that?

 

I think these findings prove that living the most rewarding fulfilling life possible is not only necessary, it’s crucial to your happiness.

If you need help, you still have time to join my Happi Mom Squad.  We’ll be working at squelching any and all of our regrets.

Email me…Steffani@myhappilife.com

#noregrets

Steffani

Founder and Happiness Coach at My Happi Life
www.myhappilife.com


Tips for Easy Travel with Kids
steffani

Tips for Easy Travel with Kids

Hahahaha.  Ok so it’s not actually possible to travel with kids peacefully and easily.  (But I do have a great tip to get you closer to it…)

When you travel with a 5 year old and an 8 year old or any age kids for that matter, there can and will be a LOT of ups and downs.

I tend to have temporary amnesia every time we travel.  I forget any of the chaos and mayhem and only remember the beauty and bliss.  Sort of like childbirth.  You forget how painful it is until you have another child.  It’s a love-to-travel coping mechanism.

I enter into every vacation thinking it will be amazing.  Lots of quality time with the kids.  A beautiful romantic connection with my husband.  More fun than you can ever imagine.  Perfect weather.  Sunny beach days.  Great food.  Interesting new friends.  I could go on and on.  I’m very optimistic.  I always set some positive intentions.  (A powerful practice, the alternative does not end well, trust me…)

We just returned from Mexico and this trip was no different.  Booked a beautiful room at our favorite hotel, warm sunny weather.  What could go wrong?!

Well as you know when you’re traveling with kids anything and everything can go wrong.  The kids might whine and fight.  A LOT.  The taxi might take FOREVER.  You might get booked into the wrong room and have to move.  Your son could get sick and you could spend 3 hours in the ER on day 2.  Only to see him suffering for the next 4 days until you leave.

Yea.  We’ve all been there.  Being away from home, and traveling always sounds more glamorous than it is.  And we as humans tend to focus on the negative.  It’s somehow written in our DNA.  The first thing we do is tell the dramatic tale of how Jack got sick and it ruined our vacation.  We feel more comfortable sharing the hardships than the highlights.

Well I’m not buying into the bullshit rule that says that you have to share the drama.  Or even the reality.  I will find a way to highlight what went WELL.  I’ll share the triumphs, the laughter, the sweet moments we shared.  All the amazing memories we created.

We had the best New Year’s Eve we’ve ever had as a family.
Stumbled upon a fun show and beach dance party.
My daughter and I had a late night fun adventure on the beach.
When the kids went to sleep we got to ring in the New Year, just the 2 of us.  Watched some fireworks over the ocean. Romance – check.

On New Year’s day we had a late night beach fire ceremony.  As a family we wrote down things that no longer served us, that we’d like to leave in 2016.  Jack being sick was on all our lists.  And things we wanted to create in 2017.  I loved reading their lists.  What beautiful intentions these kids can set.  Lighting the list on fire in a homemade fire pit and then shouting our intentions to the wind and ending with a family Hakka ceremony.  Now how can I let that get overshadowed by a few bumps in the road.

It’s all about where you put your focus.  Do you focus on what went wrong, the fighting, the sickness, the delays.  Or what went right, the morning breakfast buffet with food we all loved, the quiet time by the pool, the Zoomba water aerobics, the jogs on the beach with my love.  Backflips in the pool.  The kindness of strangers.  New friends from England.  Feeding the fish in the pond and counting 16 turtles, the swim up bar where the kids ordered hourly chocolate smoothies.  The grilled lobster tail for dinner.  Reading a full book cover to cover.  Jet skiing, beach walking, swimming in every pool on the grounds.

Honestly when you focus on what went RIGHT, on all the GOOD.  What is there to complain about?  Life happens.  How do you choose to respond to it?

As we got in the taxi to the airport I asked my kids to tell me their 3 favorite moments of the vacation.  We came up with 25, at least.

We can sit and reflect on the stress and the problems.  And create a story of a nightmare vacation, where things went wrong and we may never go back.

OR we can focus on all the moments of beauty and connection.  The quality time that wouldn’t have happened at home.  The new experiences that expanded our horizons.  The growth and the laughter.  The smiles and the joy we shared.  The swimming and the dancing and falling asleep in each other’s arms.  That’s what I’ll focus on.  And soon we’ll forget that Jack got sick.  I might remember how nice the doctors were and how taken care of we felt.  It won’t be a bad memory.  But a good one.  More of that please.

So here’s how to travel easily and peacefully with your kids.  Focus only on the easy parts.  Focus only on the peace not the stress.  There are as many moments of those when you look for them.  And the more you look for them the more you’ll create them.  And you’ll head into blissful amnesia before your next trip.

Oh the places you will go… Where will you go next?

Loving this life and travel,
Steffani

PS:   My new Happi Mom Squad started YESTERDAY.  There is 1 space still available for this 6 month long mastermind.  If you’re ready, really ready to focus on your happiness so you can raise happiness, email me and join us!

Where’s my TRIBE?!
steffani

Where’s my TRIBE?!

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family.  Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” Jane Howard

We know we need a tribe right?  This is not a new concept.  Jim Rohn taught us that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.  Then why don’t we consciously put effort into our own tribe?  How can we find this clan, network, family?  I’m here to share with you 4 steps that will help you start beating that drum with your new tribe. 

I remember the day I realized that I needed to find my tribe.  Years ago I read The Harvard Grant Study.  It’s a study that spanned over 75 years studying the physical and emotional habits and experiences of 268 Harvard college men. It basically explained that the connections you have with the people closest to you will not only determine how happy you are, but will also determine your level of wealth and success, the longevity and quality of your marriage, your level of health and wellness and how happy and fulfilled you live your life.  That’s pretty much everything.  And it all comes down to the quality of your relationships.  That hit me hard.  I looked around at my closest relationships and realized that 90% of them were not chosen they were convenient.  They consisted of co-workers, neighbors, teammates, gym friends, family members.  And they were fine, even somewhat fulfilling, but were they taking me everywhere I wanted to go in life?  Bottom line was no.  Could they be better?  Hell yes.  So I set out to find my tribe and see how that might enhance my life.  It didn’t take long to find them, and WOW was it a game changer.  I am now determined to create more tribes for women who like myself refuse to settle.  Here are the steps I took that lead me to my tribe. 

Step 1:  Set the right intention

No one finds what they want by setting an intention on what they don’t want.  So first things first, I set out to meet transformational leaders.  I wanted to surround myself with game changers.  People moving humanity forward in some way.  People dreaming big and living big.  If you set an intention to meet nice people, you’ll meet nice people.  Be specific. If you want to meet other parents who love hockey and are into philanthropy, set that intention.  Get clear on who you want to surround yourself with to enhance your life and the Universe will conspire to make it happen.  When I set that intention in February of 2012, I almost immediately heard about a conference called Afest.  I looked it up and WOW, that was my dream tribe.  They met every criteria I set in my intention.  This tribe was made up of dream big entrepreneurs, transformational leaders in every way, game changers and badass visionaries.  These people were living extraordinary lives in all areas.  I wanted IN.  And the Universe responded.  Later that year I attended my first Afest.  I’ve now been to 5 Afests in beautiful, tropical locations all over the world, and I have to say what keeps me going back is not the experience, it’s the tribe. Since knowing this tribe I created accountability groups and masterminds with some of these amazing people and because of those I’ve started 2 new businesses.  I’ve had more epic experiences and raised my quality of life more than I ever thought possible.  And most importantly I know that no matter where I am in the world I can find an Afester who’s got my back.  All of this started with a clear intention. 

Step 2: Look near and far

We tend to look for like minded people in our own backyard and that’s very possible, but thanks to social media and the internet we can find our tribe anywhere on the planet.  Stay open to how your tribe might show up and don’t be surprised if you meet a tribe member on the beach in Mykonos or at your local grocery store.  You have to stay open and search near and far.  Consider joining a Facebook group focused on your interests, look at your local bookstore, church or library for events that light you up inside.  Also try www.grouponlive.com, www.dabble.com   and www.meetup.com great recourses for local events covering a variety of interests. 

I recently attended a documentary film event at my local movie theater.  The documentary was about different school systems.  I arrived late and it was already dark.  The movie was very moving and really spoke to me.  When it ended I stood up applauding and when the lights came on I saw about 60 other people standing and clapping.  I looked around with a big smile and thought “ahhhh, here’s my local tribe”.  You never know where you might find them.

Step 3: Put yourself out there

How is anyone supposed to know that you’re into healing with essential oils if you never tell anyone?  We have to find a way to go deeper, be vulnerable and share our interests with others.  Sure it’s easy to attend an essential oils party and share with them but how can you find others when not in that environment?  My husband and I went on a cruise down the Rhine River with his work and we didn’t know anyone else on the trip.  Instead of just keeping to ourselves, which was our first instinct, I set an intention to meet some like minded people.  I found myself sitting next to the same women a few times, we had polite conversation and then something whispered to me to go deeper.  So I asked her what she was passionate about.  And that simple question opened the floodgates.  We started talking about life, love and happiness.  We talked about books we loved. We had a lot in common and we practically had an identical library at home.  It enhanced our trip in immeasurable ways to connect with someone on a deeper level.  Someone who speaks a similar language.  And thanks to social media we’re still in touch to this day.  So be vulnerable, go deeper, put yourself out there and you’ll meet more of your own. 

Step 4: Focus on what you believe

As I mentioned earlier this idea of a tribe sparked interest in creating my own tribe.  And thus, OPRF Mom Squad was born.

This Mom Mastermind is  a call to action for Mom’s who are ready to live a life they love again.  But it’s not based solely on things we have in common.  It’s based on what we BELIEVE.   If you look for people who have similar beliefs you’ll find an even deeper connection than if you look for those with similar interests.  You’ll find multiple ways to move your lives forward together.

Here’s a few of the basics that we believe in our OPRF Mom Squad: 

We believe that with the right mindset anything (and everything) is possible

We believe that we are 100% responsible for your reality

We believe in radical self love and self care

We believe a tribe of like-minded women is essential to extraordinary living

We believe it’s our job to safeguard our happiness

We believe in taking daily ACTION to be the best Mom we can be

We believe in finding as much joy along the journey as possible

We believe everything you need exists WITHIN you…it just needs the right supportive squad to bring it out

If you’d like to join this tribe of unstoppable Moms fill out this form and let’s get started….. We officially start Jan 4th and space is limited.

If you’re ready to meet your tribe and you follow these 4 steps be sure to buckle your seat belt.  And be prepared if you set out on this journey to leave what no longer serves you behind.  With a solid tribe on your side you’ll make a lot of powerful positive changes in your life.  Your current life might be unrecognizable in just a few months.  And you’ll see what the Harvard Grant Study proves, that life is better with a tribe.