4 Tips to Find Your Tribe
steffani

4 Tips to Find Your Tribe

I have always craved sisterhood. It fuels me and sets my soul on fire. I feel like it might be my deepest purpose in life, to create and facilitate a strong tribe of like-minded Badass women.

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” ~Jane Howard

I remember the day I realized that I needed to find my tribe. Years ago I heard about The Harvard Grant Study from Jon Butcher at Lifebook. It’s a study that spanned over 75 years studying the physical and emotional habits and experiences of 268 Harvard college men.

It basically explained that the connections you have with the people closest to you will not only determine how happy you are but will also determine your level of wealth and success, the longevity and quality of your marriage, your level of health and wellness and how happy and fulfilled you live your life. That’s pretty much everything. And it all comes down to the quality of your relationships. That hit me hard.

I looked around at my closest relationships and realized that 90% of them were not chosen they were simply convenient. They consisted of co-workers, neighbors, teammates, gym friends, family members. And they were fine, even somewhat fulfilling, but were they taking me everywhere I wanted to go in life? Bottom line was no. Could they be better? Hell yes.

So I set out to find my tribe and to see how that might enhance my life. It didn’t take long to find them, and WOW was it a game changer. I am now determined to create more tribes for women who like myself refuse to settle.

Here are the steps I took that lead me down a beautiful path to find my tribe.

Step 1:  Set the right intention

No one finds what they want by setting an intention on what they don’t want. So first things first, I set out to meet transformational leaders. I wanted to surround myself with game changers. People moving humanity forward in some way. People dreaming big and living big.

If you set an intention to meet nice people, you’ll meet nice people. Be specific. If you want to meet other parents who love hockey and are into philanthropy, set that intention. Get clear on who you want to surround yourself with to enhance your life and the Universe will conspire to make it happen.

When I set that intention in February of 2012, I almost immediately heard about a conference called Afest ( www.afest.com)I looked it up and WOW, that was my dream tribe. They met every criterion I set in my intention. This tribe was made up of dream big entrepreneurs, transformational leaders in every way, game changers and badass visionaries. These people were living extraordinary lives in all areas. I wanted IN. And the Universe responded.

Later that year I attended my first Afest. I’ve now been to 8 Afests in beautiful, tropical locations all over the world, and I have to say what keeps me going back is not the experience, it’s the tribe.

Since knowing this tribe I created accountability groups and masterminds with some of these amazing people and because of those I’ve started 2 new businesses.  I’ve had more epic experiences and raised my quality of life more than I ever thought possible. And most importantly I know that no matter where I am in the world I can find an Afester who’s got my back. All of this started with a clear intention.

Step 2: Look near and far

We tend to look for like-minded people in our own backyard and that’s very possible, but thanks to social media and the internet we can find our tribe anywhere on the planet.

Stay open to how your tribe might show up and don’t be surprised if you meet a tribe member on the beach in Mykonos or at your local grocery store. You have to stay open and search near and far.

Consider joining a Facebook group focused on your interests, look at your local bookstore, church or library for events that light you up inside. Also try www.grouponlive.com,  www.dabble.com and www.meetup.com great recourses for local events covering a variety of interests.

I recently attended a documentary film event at my local movie theater about different school systems. I arrived late and it was already dark. The movie was very moving and really spoke to me. When it ended I stood up applauding and when the lights came on I saw 60 other parents standing and clapping. I looked around with a big smile and realized here’s my local tribe. I found them in a dark movie theater at 4 pm on a Saturday and I fell in love. You never know where you might find them.

Step 3: Put yourself out there

How is anyone supposed to know that you’re into healing with essential oils if you never tell anyone? We have to find a way to go deeper, be vulnerable and share our interests with others. Sure it’s easy to attend an essential oils party and share with them but how can you find others when not in that environment?

My husband and I went on a cruise down the Rhine River with his work and we didn’t know anyone else on the trip. Instead of just keeping to ourselves, which was our first instinct, I set an intention to meet some like-minded people.

I found myself sitting next to the same women a few times, we had polite conversation and then something whispered to me to go deeper. So I asked her what she was passionate about. And that simple question opened the floodgates.

We started talking about life, love, and happiness. We talked about books we loved. We had a lot in common and we practically had an identical library at home. It enhanced our trip in immeasurable ways to connect with someone on a deeper level.  Someone who speaks a similar language. And thanks to social media we’re still in touch to this day.

So be vulnerable, go deeper, put yourself out there and you’ll meet more of your own.

Step 4: Focus on what you believe

This idea of a strong solid tribe sparked my interest in creating my own tribe. If being a part of a tribe could enhance my life so much what would creating my own tribe designed specifically to turn up the dial in my own life do?

So my business partner Allie and I set out to create a movement of unapologetic, unstoppable women who refuse to settle for a life they don’t love. And we started with what we believe.

If you look for people who have similar beliefs you’ll find an even deeper connection than if you look for those with similar interests. You’ll find multiple ways to move your lives forward together.

Here’s what we believe and what the Badass Mom Society is based on: 

We believe a tribe of like-minded women is the secret code to extraordinary living
We believe that with the right mindset anything (and everything) is possible
We believe in radical, unapologetic self-care
We believe that when we nourish our relationships it nourishes our lives
We believe it’s our right to live well (and prosper)
We believe that you should never settle for anything less than what you deserve
We believe that you should wildly embrace exactly who you are
We believe every inch of your life should feel extraordinary
We believe that fun and play are essential to an incredible existence.
We believe that you are FULLY responsible for the outcome of your life
We believe in adventure. In pushing your edges.
We believe in higher living and a higher power.
We believe everything you need exists WITHIN you…it just needs the right supportive sisterhood to bring it out, shine it up, and set it free.

If you believe the same you can join us here.

If you’re ready to meet your tribe and you follow some of these suggestions and then buckle your seat belt. It’s sure to enhance your life. With a solid tribe on your side, you’ll make a lot of powerful positive changes in your life and you’ll leave what no longer serves you behind. Your current life might be unrecognizable in just a few months. And you’ll see what the Harvard Grant Study proves, that life is better with a tribe.

Xxx,

How to Create A New Path that Leads to Your Vision of Life
steffani

How to Create A New Path that Leads to Your Vision of Life

How do you shift your thinking when it falls out of alignment? That is bound to happen now and then.

Up until now, we’ve been operating in our lives by following our habits.  Those habits have created a path in the forest that is our mind.

I’ve created a path for myself through that forest. It takes me to a clearing which had a certain level of contentment and happiness.  It included some frustration and dissatisfaction in my relationships.

The same can be said about my health and fitness.  The path had taken me to where I was and I wasn’t satisfied.

If I want to get to a new clearing, to the beautiful new meadow over there, I have no choice but to create a new path.  I have to blaze a new trail.

The same path that I’ve already worn, that’s already been created and the one I’ve always followed, is not going to get me to the beautiful meadow.  I desperately want to reach the clearing in the forest that holds all the lovely flowers of my relationship, the beautiful trees of my parenting and the babbling brook of my health and fitness along with the pretty butterflies for my business.

What do you really want?

I want to show up as the best mom that I can be.

A really epic love relationship is something I desire. I want to be so connected to my husband and have great sex. I want to fall in love with him over and over again, every day.

I want to be in the best shape of my life and be in a bikini all the time and be rocking my body at 48 years old.

My mission is to help and to serve more women.  I want to show women that life’s not all suffering. I want to help them live the life of their dreams and I want to do that in a big way. I want to help young girls know that they can be, do and have anything they want in their life.  I want to help more women step out of their feelings of overwhelm and step into more daily lasting happiness.

I want to create a community of women around me that are so badass and so amazing that they support every huge dream we share and celebrate every win – both massive and minuscule.

I want to be close with my family, close with my friends and community that live locally and connected to friends and community that live all around the world.

I want to travel and have epic experiences.

Those awesome and amazing elements are all features of the meadow in the forest that I have to get to.

What does your meadow look like?

Everyone’s is a little different.

Stephanie two point zero wants to go down the path to the new clearing. But here’s the thing, new tools are necessary to dig through the forest to get to that clearing. There’s not a worn-down easy path from here to there.

There’s a worn-down easy path that got me to the place in my life that I’ve always lived in.  It’s an old and familiar clearing.  That clearing wasn’t so pretty.  It held the weeds of frustration and the dying tree stumps of overwhelm and yelling. I was yelling at my kids all the time.  I was on the path of least resistance, one where I felt I wasn’t enough and where I was willing to settle for a crummy relationship.

That path has already well-worn and dug out and easy to follow because I’ve thought those thoughts over and over and over again.

So now I want to get to a new place.  The beautiful meadow that I know is there because I planned out the new clearing. I can see it through the trees because I’ve been doing a little bit of work and I’ve been getting clear about what I really want.

How do I get to the new place?

I need tools to start chopping down the trees and the overgrowth.  I need to break a new trail and clear the way.

Those exact tools are the ones I’ll be sharing with you in Badass Life Intensive. We’re going to talk about canceled processes and gratitude and your state and getting into the feeling place and how to best use all these new tools.

Your Tool-Belt Will Be Full

You’ll be picking up this ax and that sledgehammer and you’ll be chopping through the underbrush and cutting away the trees on your way to your beautiful meadow.

Here’s what I’ve found as I’ve begun to blaze a trail through the forest to the new meadow:  There are a lot of trees that need to be cleared and another big tree up there that takes a LOT of work and energy and then just when I think I’m through, Holy Shit, there’s a path over here that’s a lot easier to follow and I tend to jump back onto the worn down path that’s already cleared and easy to follow.

We have to remember that the simple path will not get us to that clearing.

The things that you’ve done in the past, the thoughts that occupied your mind and the feelings you felt are not going to get you to the big desired end result.

The beautiful meadow is over there.  We’ve got to think new thoughts. We’ve got to do different things and that might mean getting out your journal and writing about what you really want.  It might mean joining this program and inviting a friend to come along for the journey.  It will mean doing the homework, writing new affirmations and stating them every morning.  It will mean utilizing all these new tools in your tool-belt that I’m going to teach you.

But Guess What?  It’ll be worth it.

It will all work beautifully because new patterns and habits will be formed and a new path through the forest to the pristine meadow will be forged.

Once you create your new path, it gets easier to follow.

Meanwhile, the old path becomes so overgrown that it’s impossible to follow that one.  You don’t want to go down that path anymore.

Setbacks may still occur and you may just find yourself slugging it out on the old path, but you won’t stay there long.  It’s harder to keep digging yourself out.  You’ll find your way back to the new path even quicker next time.  You’ll use your new tools and clear a new way forward.

Learn more about the Badass Life Intensive here. 

I’ll see you there.

 

Overcoming the Challenges of being Mom with a Morning Routine
steffani

Overcoming the Challenges of being Mom with a Morning Routine

I get it. I so get it.  Life can be hard.

Life can be tough at any time, but as a mom it’s especially so.  We have these whole other layers of guilt, fear, shame busyness and overwhelm simply because we’re a mom.

Being fully and completely responsible for so much more than just ourselves takes a toll on us.

Thankfully, I have a great morning routine.  Each morning, I have a process that I follow to get myself into an awesome state first so I can handle the challenges that’ll come my way every day as a busy mom.

I’ll share what happened to me the other morning:

An introductory call was set up and on my schedule with a gentleman in Bali.  I knew he was considering involving me in his upcoming project as a Law of Attraction Coach and I was very excited to learn more about it.

30 minutes before the call, I made the mistake of deciding to wash and brush my daughter’s hair.  She has super curly hair and hates to brush it out so it’s always a big task.  As I was doing her hair, I was thinking to myself, “Oh, my gosh, what am I thinking?”

Just as I finished up, the call comes in and I had to rush my daughter out of the room.  Of course, she didn’t think we were finished and took to banging on the other side of the door for my attention.  All she wanted was for me to braid a lock of her hair but her timing was way off.

I had to retreat into my Morning Routine

Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Stay Calm.

It turned out to be a wonderful call.  At the end of it, I won the result I was after:  the man from Bali invited me to be a coach on his amazing documentary that’ll teach women how to manifest their ideal life vision.  How perfect is that?  Can you feel how excited I am about it?

As soon as we finished up the call, I went to check on my daughter and ask if she was OK. By that time though, she’d completely forgotten what she was upset about.  When I asked her if she wanted a piece of her hair braided, she came back with “Oh yeah, no big deal.”

Just to amp up the stress factor, we also had an overflowing toilet this morning.

Plus our stolen car that went missing a couple of weeks ago, was just found last night.

Sometimes I feel like if it’s going to happen, it’ll happen to me.

So I get it. That all happened.  So much stress.

I have just as many challenges as any Mom out there.

What I wanted to share with you today is that I’ve found a way to move through those challenges with as much peace and joy as possible.

I know that you totally get it and I totally get you.

You are not alone!  That’s what the Badass Mom Society is all about. I would love to hear from you there!