Living with No Regrets and Leaving a Legacy
steffani

Living with No Regrets and Leaving a Legacy

This last week I’ve been doing a lot of small group coaching.  And a common theme has been creeping in…. regrets.

It’s a word we often don’t reflect on until it’s too late.  I came across an article by John-Paul Iwuoha. The 5 Biggest Regrets People Have Before They Die. What he shared in the article was…

Bronnie Ware – an Australian nurse and counselor – took care of terminally ill people, most of whom had less than 12 weeks to live.  As part of therapy, Bronnie would ask about any regrets they had about their lives and anything they would do differently. Of all the responses she got from her patients, she noticed there were 5 regrets that stood out.

These were the most common regrets of her patients:

1) I wish I pursued my dreams and aspirations, and not the life others expected of me

Ouch.  That hurts.  This is a classic case of our head getting in the way of our heart.  The biggest take away from this #1 regret is…If you know what really makes you happy…do it! And if you don’t know what really makes you happy, what your dreams and aspirations are…FIND OUT.  Don’t wait until tomorrow. Heck, don’t wait another minute.  Do. It. Now! Joseph Campbell said it best.  “Follow your bliss.” Stop doing everything else.  And get out there and set the world on fire with your passion and purpose.  It’s never too late. Actually, it is. So do it now.

2) I wish I didn’t work so hard

No surprise here.  We don’t often wish at the end of our lives that we had spent more time at work.  People often wish they had put more focus on other things including their relationships, their health, and their spirituality.  Yep. All those really important things that we put on the back burner. Those things that matter most that we reserve for weekends and holiday breaks.  What is WRONG with this picture? We have our priorities backwards. Let’s turn them around. And start focusing on who we love.  What we love to do.  When we love doing it.  And how often.  That’s a great start.  

3) I wish I had the courage to express my feelings and speak my mind

Emotional intelligence….wow.  Game changer. This to me means also “I wish I had taken more time to work on ME.” Because when we do the work, we get stronger.  Period. We have firmer boundaries, and we can express our needs. It’s only through our vulnerability that we can truly reach out greatness.  But we don’t explore our edge a lot. We don’t fully trust ourselves or others. There’s a whole other layer to this life that I see most women leaving left unexplored.  It’s our shame. It’s the real, raw, vulnerable truth of how we feel. And that, when exposed can lead be miraculous. It can create doors where there were once walls. Greatness here we come!  

4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.  But we often don’t work on it. This is more proof that the Harvard Grant study, the longest lasting study in history was right.  Having close friendships and intimate connections can quite literally determine our success in life.  Not just in life but in every area of our life.  Our relationship, our health, our wealth, our impact.  All of that is affected positively or negatively by our intimate friendships.  Our connections make life better. We need to treat them that way and consciously work on them.  #sisterhood

5) I wish I had let myself be happier

When we realize that happiness is a choice and we put conscious effort into it, that can lead to an incredibly fulfilling life. I also believe happiness is the art of allowing.  There’s a lot more at play here than just joy. When we focus on our happiness we tune in to our deeper desires. But again its something we take for granted. We think it should just happen.  So we don’t work at it. We hustle and work hard and think that will make us happy. If there’s one thing I could shout from the rooftops it would be this… “Master your happiness and you will master your life.”   

So I ask you…are there any REGRETS that you don’t want to die with?

Are you spending too much time working?

Putting work in front of family, friends, relationships?

Are you making money your top priority?  

Are there adjustments you can make in your life to change any of that?  

I think this study proves that living the most rewarding fulfilling life possible is not only necessary, it’s crucial.

Let’s continue the conversation. And see how we can not just live with no regrets but also leave a legacy.

Download my FREE pdf on the 5 Worst Practices High Achieving Women Implement While Trying To Up-Level Their Lives. So you can avoid these common mistakes and take action that really will move you radically forward.   

If you want MORE I totally get it…
steffani

If you want MORE I totally get it…

First of all…it’s OK.

It’s OK to want MORE.  Even as a mom with amazing kids it’s OK to WANT MORE. Now that that’s out of the way… (step aside mom guilt) I have MORE to say.

You also don’t need to settle for LESS.
Yep.  I said it.  STOP SETTLING.

Stop settling for less joy
Stop settling for overwhelm
Stop settling for a relationship that’s not as romantic as you want it to be
Stop settling in a space where you yell every damn day
Stop settling for a job you don’t love
Stop living in a  house you don’t love
Stop eating food you don’t love
Stop living a life where you’re settling for less than you DESERVE

Ut oh, now we’re opening up a whole new can of worms…here come the unworthy thoughts and feelings. I get it. You are not alone!

But deep down inside I WANT MORE.  And even deeper down I KNOW I DESERVE MORE. If you know that too.  Then it’s time.

It’s time to expect MORE!  

MORE out of life!
MORE from your health.   
MORE from your relationships.
MORE from your parenting.
MORE from yourself.
MORE LOVE.
MORE laughter.
MORE balance.

See, we KNOW we are in control. But this Mom journey sometimes has us feeling WAY out of control.

And its time to take back control.

Because WE create our THOUGHTS.
Our THOUGHTS create our INTENTIONS.
And our INTENTIONS create our REALITY.

It’s that simple. Not easy. But that simple. In my Next Level Life Mastermind, we take back control.

Of our THOUGHTS Of our EXCUSES
Of our WORDS
Of our negative SELF-TALK
Of our REACTIONS
Of our LIMITING BELIEFS
Of our STATE
Of our FEELINGS
Of our LIVES Of our HAPPINESS!

Because THIS is the type of Mom that we want to BE.
THIS is the type of Mom our kids deserve.
THIS is the type of mom who’s living a life we’re all striving for.
THIS is the type of Mom the world needs more of.

In the Next Level Life Mastermind sisterhood, together, we commit to fulfilling our giant, soul-driven missions, and we firmly hold a vision for each other that  EXCEEDS our wildest dreams in every area of our life.

Not only do we believe we can have it all.  We believe we can have it all… and MORE.

Apply Here

4 Tips to Find Your Tribe
steffani

4 Tips to Find Your Tribe

I have always craved sisterhood. It fuels me and sets my soul on fire. I feel like it might be my deepest purpose in life, to create and facilitate a strong tribe of like-minded Badass women.

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” ~Jane Howard

I remember the day I realized that I needed to find my tribe. Years ago I heard about The Harvard Grant Study from Jon Butcher at Lifebook. It’s a study that spanned over 75 years studying the physical and emotional habits and experiences of 268 Harvard college men.

It basically explained that the connections you have with the people closest to you will not only determine how happy you are but will also determine your level of wealth and success, the longevity and quality of your marriage, your level of health and wellness and how happy and fulfilled you live your life. That’s pretty much everything. And it all comes down to the quality of your relationships. That hit me hard.

I looked around at my closest relationships and realized that 90% of them were not chosen they were simply convenient. They consisted of co-workers, neighbors, teammates, gym friends, family members. And they were fine, even somewhat fulfilling, but were they taking me everywhere I wanted to go in life? Bottom line was no. Could they be better? Hell yes.

So I set out to find my tribe and to see how that might enhance my life. It didn’t take long to find them, and WOW was it a game changer. I am now determined to create more tribes for women who like myself refuse to settle.

Here are the steps I took that lead me down a beautiful path to find my tribe.

Step 1:  Set the right intention

No one finds what they want by setting an intention on what they don’t want. So first things first, I set out to meet transformational leaders. I wanted to surround myself with game changers. People moving humanity forward in some way. People dreaming big and living big.

If you set an intention to meet nice people, you’ll meet nice people. Be specific. If you want to meet other parents who love hockey and are into philanthropy, set that intention. Get clear on who you want to surround yourself with to enhance your life and the Universe will conspire to make it happen.

When I set that intention in February of 2012, I almost immediately heard about a conference called Afest ( www.afest.com)I looked it up and WOW, that was my dream tribe. They met every criterion I set in my intention. This tribe was made up of dream big entrepreneurs, transformational leaders in every way, game changers and badass visionaries. These people were living extraordinary lives in all areas. I wanted IN. And the Universe responded.

Later that year I attended my first Afest. I’ve now been to 8 Afests in beautiful, tropical locations all over the world, and I have to say what keeps me going back is not the experience, it’s the tribe.

Since knowing this tribe I created accountability groups and masterminds with some of these amazing people and because of those I’ve started 2 new businesses.  I’ve had more epic experiences and raised my quality of life more than I ever thought possible. And most importantly I know that no matter where I am in the world I can find an Afester who’s got my back. All of this started with a clear intention.

Step 2: Look near and far

We tend to look for like-minded people in our own backyard and that’s very possible, but thanks to social media and the internet we can find our tribe anywhere on the planet.

Stay open to how your tribe might show up and don’t be surprised if you meet a tribe member on the beach in Mykonos or at your local grocery store. You have to stay open and search near and far.

Consider joining a Facebook group focused on your interests, look at your local bookstore, church or library for events that light you up inside. Also try www.grouponlive.com,  www.dabble.com and www.meetup.com great recourses for local events covering a variety of interests.

I recently attended a documentary film event at my local movie theater about different school systems. I arrived late and it was already dark. The movie was very moving and really spoke to me. When it ended I stood up applauding and when the lights came on I saw 60 other parents standing and clapping. I looked around with a big smile and realized here’s my local tribe. I found them in a dark movie theater at 4 pm on a Saturday and I fell in love. You never know where you might find them.

Step 3: Put yourself out there

How is anyone supposed to know that you’re into healing with essential oils if you never tell anyone? We have to find a way to go deeper, be vulnerable and share our interests with others. Sure it’s easy to attend an essential oils party and share with them but how can you find others when not in that environment?

My husband and I went on a cruise down the Rhine River with his work and we didn’t know anyone else on the trip. Instead of just keeping to ourselves, which was our first instinct, I set an intention to meet some like-minded people.

I found myself sitting next to the same women a few times, we had polite conversation and then something whispered to me to go deeper. So I asked her what she was passionate about. And that simple question opened the floodgates.

We started talking about life, love, and happiness. We talked about books we loved. We had a lot in common and we practically had an identical library at home. It enhanced our trip in immeasurable ways to connect with someone on a deeper level.  Someone who speaks a similar language. And thanks to social media we’re still in touch to this day.

So be vulnerable, go deeper, put yourself out there and you’ll meet more of your own.

Step 4: Focus on what you believe

This idea of a strong solid tribe sparked my interest in creating my own tribe. If being a part of a tribe could enhance my life so much what would creating my own tribe designed specifically to turn up the dial in my own life do?

So my business partner Allie and I set out to create a movement of unapologetic, unstoppable women who refuse to settle for a life they don’t love. And we started with what we believe.

If you look for people who have similar beliefs you’ll find an even deeper connection than if you look for those with similar interests. You’ll find multiple ways to move your lives forward together.

Here’s what we believe and what the Badass Mom Society is based on: 

We believe a tribe of like-minded women is the secret code to extraordinary living
We believe that with the right mindset anything (and everything) is possible
We believe in radical, unapologetic self-care
We believe that when we nourish our relationships it nourishes our lives
We believe it’s our right to live well (and prosper)
We believe that you should never settle for anything less than what you deserve
We believe that you should wildly embrace exactly who you are
We believe every inch of your life should feel extraordinary
We believe that fun and play are essential to an incredible existence.
We believe that you are FULLY responsible for the outcome of your life
We believe in adventure. In pushing your edges.
We believe in higher living and a higher power.
We believe everything you need exists WITHIN you…it just needs the right supportive sisterhood to bring it out, shine it up, and set it free.

If you believe the same you can join us here.

If you’re ready to meet your tribe and you follow some of these suggestions and then buckle your seat belt. It’s sure to enhance your life. With a solid tribe on your side, you’ll make a lot of powerful positive changes in your life and you’ll leave what no longer serves you behind. Your current life might be unrecognizable in just a few months. And you’ll see what the Harvard Grant Study proves, that life is better with a tribe.

Xxx,