What are you tolerating?
steffani

What are you tolerating?

Are your date nights kind of lame?  Or non-existent?
Are you yelling at your kids?
Are you feeling overwhelmed at times and disorganized in your head and heart?
Do you feel like there’s a deeper purpose to life that you haven’t tapped into yet?
Are you ‘happy’ but not fulfilled?
Are you content but not set on fire?
Are you settling (oh that dreaded S word) for a life that is good but not GREAT?  Actually, it’s great but not EXTRAORDINARY?
Are you playing small?

Let’s face it.  I know you are.  And YOU know you are.

You’re settling for and tolerating a life that’s beneath you. Sure it might be more than most women have.   And I know you feel bad feeling all this.  But I’m here to remind you there’s MORE.  More you can BE, more you can DO and more you can HAVE. 

Listen we only have one shot at this life thing. We can’t afford to play small? No day is guaranteed. So we can’t hold back. We need to hit the gas. Settling. Tolerating. Playing small. None of that will get us the juicy delicious totally fulfilling life we’re after.

You need to stand up for YOU. No one else will.

You need to stop tolerating poor treatment. From yourself and others.

You need to step up and ask for what you want. Heck give yourself what you want.

You need to stop settling for less than you deserve.

And when do you think you need to do that? Yup!! Right f’ing now.

Earlier this year I created a new boundary in our family. My kids are getting older and there’s a lot more “sass” going on in our house. Mocking and eye rolling and telling someone to “shut up” (and a whole lot worse) started to be second nature. And it hit me. I was overly tolerant and creating a culture that was becoming unbearable. I was creating an environment where we were not thriving. To say the least.

Well, alleluia and praise the Lord for this awareness. Because now I can do something about it. I can change it!

So we’re changing our family culture. I’m doing it and you can too.

We are the matriarchs of our families. It’s our job to lead the way. Whether it’s changing our family culture from one of disrespect to loving kindness. Or from entitlement to compassion. Or if it’s improving our health. Enhancing our marriage or changing our money story. This is all possible when we realize we need it. When we stop tolerating so much. When we set a new higher standard then everyone can rise up to meet it.

For me this took accountability. It took a community. It took coaching. I tapped into all the tools I could find because I was committed to this change.

If you have the desire. But don’t have the tools. I’ve got your back. 

Download my FREE PDF, The 5 Worst Practices High Achieving Women Implement While Trying to Up Level Their Lives.  

Take your life, your relationship, your career, your parenting, your health, all to the next level. It starts with the desire. Then with saying YES.

How To Find What You Do Want
steffani

How To Find What You Do Want

One of the biggest questions I get from my clients is this…

“But what if I don’t know what I want.” 

I’m sure you get that too.  In one or more area of your life, you haven’t deeply explored EXACTLY what you want.  You don’t know what your ideal reality in that area looks like.

Follow along with this video and I’ll show you a simple process to find out what you really want.

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Ready to discover what you want and how to achieve it?

Download my FREE pdf, The 5 Worst Practices of High Achieving Women While Trying to Up-Level Their Lives,here.

The Problem With Your Marriage
steffani

The Problem With Your Marriage

I know you already have an amazing life.  I know you’re “happy” most of the time. And that you’re grateful, really grateful for your kids and your life and all you’ve created, so far.  

I also know that you still struggle in your marriage. You feel disconnected at times.  You bicker and fight too much. And you definitely don’t have sex as often as you used to.   

How do I know?  Because I’ve been there.  And because 8 out of 10 women who I coach experience this too.

Your relationship might look okay on the outside.  People think you’re an awesome couple. It might be “OK”, even good, but its not amazing.  You might still love each other, and respect each other but you don’t feel fully connected and as IN LOVE as you want to be.  And basically, even though you have a lot to be grateful for your relationship is not something you’re crazy proud of, not at this point in your life.  

Here’s the problem….

You’re not putting enough energy, attention and focus into your relationship.

You know it.  I know it. And your husband knows it too.  

Sure we can talk about how he’s not romantic anymore and how he should plan date nights and how he comes home after work and just shuts down and watches TV or scrolls through social media.  That’s all real. I get it. But it’s also out of our control. We can’t change anyone else. (Believe me…I’ve tried). Especially our spouses.

What we CAN do is put energy, attention and focus on what we DO want.  On the connection. On the romance. On the love, the kindness, the support, the adoration, whatever it is, we WANT. We can focus on THAT.  And when we do, we create more of it.

Here’s how…..  

We need to build a stronger foundation.  

See after two people have been together a long time we stop meeting each other’s needs.  It’s not intentional. It’s just what happens. We stop showing up for them intimately, sexually, sensually and playfully.  Like we used to. And they stop showing up for us emotionally. Again, we can’t change them. What we CAN do is change our behavior.  We can start showing up, really showing up, giving them their love language daily. (Please tell me you know what your love language is and what his love language is… if not, start there) And filling their bucket with what they need.  That’s how you establish a stronger foundation. And from that strong solid foundation, you can keep building.

Most women come to my programs thinking that they just need to share their frustrations with their husband.  They want to tell him all the ways he is not meeting their needs. And that will change things.

Nope.  That will backfire.  Trust me. Been there.  Done that.

When we work on the foundation.  The daily connection. Giving them their love language.  DAILY. Setting up weekly date nights. Hosting weekly marriage meetings.  Lining up quarterly overnights. (Yes even those) All of that leads to the romance, the intimacy, the love and adoration that you’re longing for.  

It starts with US.  And that’s ok. We were made for this.  Relationships define us. We often feel more genuinely fulfilled when our relationships are flourishing.  

Men are different. They’re from Mars and we’re from Venus. They define their success through their success.  Usually in their jobs and through their financial freedom. But not us. Sure we might like both. And we can have both.  But if there was ONE thing we defined our life by, it would be our intimate relationships. When we do that right. We know we’ve won at life.  

So let’s make them a priority.  Let’s take this relationship, this marriage, and make it the best relationship possible.  Let’s not settle for good, let’s make it GREAT and then ExTRAORDINARY.

Who’s with me?  Are you ready for MORE?

 If you want to discover more ways to up-level your life and relationship, check out this FREE download with lots of tips and tools how you can make powerful positive changes.  It’s called The 5 Worst Strategies High Achieving Women Implement While Trying To Up-Level Their Lives. I won’t just share what doesn’t work (and I promise you’ll relate, you’re probably trying all of them right now) But I’ll also share what DOES work.  And give you suggestions you can use TODAY to move your life forward.

Download the FREE pdf here.

Our relationships are precious.  Let’s treat them that way. And take our whole lives up a notch.  

Loving what is,
Steffani