Core Values #3: Happiness – The fun one!
steffani

Core Values #3: Happiness – The fun one!

I’m sharing my Core Values this week. I hope you’re enjoying these posts and that it’s sparking some core value exploration within you.  (If you missed the others start  here.) You won’t be surprised by the next core value of mine…. as a happiness coach I’m sure you’ll expect it. 🙂

 

core valuesCore Values #3…. Happiness. 

 

I didn’t have to force this core value into place.  It’s really something that has always been ingrained in my DNA.  But not because I’ve always been a ‘happy’ person. I haven’t. When my parents got divorced when I was 8, I wasn’t happy.  I didn’t think I could ever be ‘happy’ again. When my sister died when I was 11, happiness was a concept that I just couldn’t grasp.  I thought it was reserved for other people. People who had a happy childhood and that was definitely not me. 

 

Happiness became a core value of mine because it was something I had to work for.  It was something I had to fight for and something that eluded me but it was something I valued.  So I worked my ass off to make it a big part of my life. So much so that I now teach people how to fight for their own happiness and how to take it on like it’s their full-time job.  Because guess what? It’s no one else’s job. It’s all on you.

I believe happiness is the meaning of life.  That we all deserve to be happy and that, in a nutshell, it’s what we’re all after.  We want some form of joy, happiness, contentment, inner peace, or bliss. Call it whatever resonates with you but it’s all essentially the same thing.  We all want to feel good. I call that happiness. 

How does happiness show up for me?  It shows up through my positivity, when I focus on solutions over problems and when I am grateful, joyful and have reverence for life.  That’s how happiness shows up – not through ‘being’ happy but through embodying happiness.  It shows up when I’m more positive than negative, when I don’t gossip, when I don’t judge and when I expect the best.  It shows up when I set a powerful intention and when I COMMIT to being my best and happiest self. All good things. And speaking of good, I embody happiness when I FEEL GOOD. So feeling good becomes a huge priority. 

Are you safeguarding your happiness?  Do you know what makes you happy?  Start by creating a happy list.  Write down all the things that bring you joy and light you up inside.  Even that one simple act can spark more joy.

Stay tuned tomorrow for the next core value that has a lot to do with YOU. 

5 Powerful Core Values
steffani

5 Powerful Core Values

Many of you know I’ve been on this personal growth journey for almost 30 years now.  It’s been a beast at times, for sure. And the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. 

 

Years ago, probably 20+ years ago, I did a program (I forget the name) and they introduced Core Values to me.  It was the first time I really thought about my core values and how I wanted to really show up in my life. I was in my 20’s so my core values were NOT what they are now.  If I could find the workbook I’m sure my core values had a lot to do with partying and friendship because those were definitely my core values back then. Or so I thought. 

 

Over the last 10 years, well out of my 20’s and 30’s, I’ve been deeply exploring my core values.  And I teach this core value work to all of my clients. It’s part of the first module in my online course for a reason.  Because when we really understand and start to embody our core values we live our lives with more intention and purpose. And who doesn’t want that? 

 

I’ve found more and more that women (especially women) haven’t put any thought into their core values and when they do, their lives take off in a new direction. So…. over the next 5 days I’ll be sharing one of my core values with all of you in hopes that it might inspire you to uncover some of your own.  This is deep and beautiful work. I’m happy to share it with you. 

 

Core Values #1…. Radical Acceptance. 

 

I was talking to my coach the other day about radical acceptance and how important it is in my life and he woke me up to something.  He said, “You do get that people don’t understand what that means right?” “Um…. They don’t?” I stammered. Radical acceptance has become such a big part of my life and my vocabulary that I feel like it’s something everyone gets.  It’s a ‘yea duh’ to me and I forget sometimes that it’s not a ‘yea duh’ to everyone. 

 

What I’ve learned in my 30 years of personal growth exploration can all be boiled down to radical acceptance.  Meaning it’s important to me to not only radically accept who I am and love and honor ME, my life, my body, and my choices along this journey, but ALSO to radically accept everyone else around me.  To radically accept every soul whose life I come in contact with exactly as they are even the people who may trigger me, even the ones who have hurt me, even my Mom in her passive-aggressiveness – especially my Mom in her passive-aggressiveness. I need to radically accept my son’s teacher who treats him poorly,  our president and even my husband when he’s enraged. Everyone. Radically accepting people for exactly who they are, brings me peace. It’s a core value of mine because I believe it’s important and critical to our soul’s progression. 

 

But that’s just ME.  I find peace and freedom in radical acceptance.  I’m sure not everyone does. It’s a big concept to grasp.  I have women who have been working with me for years who still ask me…. “Ok how can I radically accept THIS guy.”  And we work through it. 

 

Radical acceptance brings me out of this very HUMAN experience I’m having and up and into the soul experience I’m really having.  It helps me see all as ONE. It helps me accept everyone as a soul having a human experience and everyone as having the perfect and right experience that they’re meant to have for their soul’s progression. Too deep for you?  Maybe. And that’s ok because I radically accept you for exactly where you are. 🙂 LOL 

 

Have you explored your core values?  I’d love to know and to hear what they are if you have.  Reply to this post I’m listening. 

 

Stay tuned for my second Core Value and how I really live these values and show up with them in life.

Stay Sane Over the Holidays
steffani

Stay Sane Over the Holidays

I hope you’re finding a LOT of peace and ease these days especially with the holidays approaching.  Here in the U.S., we have Thanksgiving SOON and that can always bring up some sticky, heightened drama, high anxiety, and a lot of other negative emotions and experiences.  Not exactly what you want to experience during the holidays. This should be a time to celebrate life and be present with your family, right? Well, it doesn’t always go that way.  

Check out this FB Live I did recently where I share 3 key shifts that will help you have a better holiday experience.  

If you want the cliff notes version here it is: (but there are a lot of great questions and some gems in the video, check it out if you have time.) 

With these heightened emotions and lots of expectations, we can feel personally injured during the holidays.  We tend to ‘should’ all over people. They ‘should’ want to be here. My Mom ‘should’ be more organized. My sister in law ‘should’ have told me in advance.  Etc. Etc.  

I had a major adjustment to our Thanksgiving plans just 2 days ago.  And through that experience, I realized I had to use all my personal growth tools to help me out of it.  Here’s what I came up with.  

#1.  Don’t take anything personally and don’t let any negative stories about yourself or others spiral out of control.  

#2.  Release your unreasonable expectations around what the holidays should look like and the MEANING you choose to place on them.  

#3.  Have radical acceptance for what IS showing up. 

It’s not the circumstance that brings you stress it’s your thoughts that the circumstances should be different then they are.  

Most importantly what we really need to do is come from a place of love.  Love all those around us. And show up as our best selves. When you allow all this in, you’ll be present, you’ll be more patient and you’ll find a lot more joy.  

For practical ways how you can do this watch this video training.  I have a lot to share on the ‘meaning’ we chose to place on things and how we can change the meaning.  

You are ridiculously in charge of your inner peace.  You are ridiculously in charge of your emotional well being.  You are ridiculously in charge of your holidays. Take charge now. 

Keep your eye out for my first ever Black Friday sale for your soul. 🙂 

Grateful for you!