The Key to Body Confidence
steffani

The Key to Body Confidence

I’ll just get right to it.

Don’t compare your 47 with other people’s 27. 
Don’t compare your 47 to your 27 either.

What I mean by that is, the key to having body confidence is loving and accepting your body AS IT IS, RIGHT NOW. In all its’ glory and imperfection. With all its’ lumps and bumps and wrinkles.

I think we get down on our bodies because we’re in constant comparison. With others AND ourselves.

What used to work for me 20 years ago doesn’t work for me anymore. What I could do 20 years ago I can’t do anymore.

And that’s OK. It sure should be ok, it’s been 20 years. And a 47-year-old body that’s had 2 kids should look different than a 27-year-old body. It’s just a fact.

Now I need to be careful with that. I don’t need to accept my body looking worse than I want it to. I don’t need to listen to the bullshit rules out there, like that we gain weight as we get older or that we get weaker or lose flexibility. I don’t need to buy into all that. I just need to fully accept the body that I have in this moment.

At OTF today we ran a PR 1 mile. When I heard we were doing that I got a little nervous. I had flashbacks to my days running races and working with a running coach. I’ve never been a ‘runner’ or very fast, but I used to work at it and now I don’t. It hurts. For me running a fast mile feels like a near-death experience.

But I ran one today. 20 years ago my fastest mile was a 6.40. And wow. I was so proud of that. Holy shit. That was REALLY fast for ME.

Today I thought I’d push myself and try and run as fast as possible. Could I run a 7.30? Maybe an 8:30? All I knew was that I would run as fast for 1 mile as my legs and heart could carry me.

I ran an 8.05. And wow. I was SO proud of that. Holy shit. That was really fast for 47 year old me.

No judgment. No comparison. Just radical acceptance. I have no idea what other people ran it in. I really don’t care. I never even think to look.

Because for me the key to body acceptance is not comparing myself to anyone else or to a younger version of myself.

This is what my body can do NOW. This is how hard I work to constantly improve it. This is why I’m so proud of THIS body.

Now here come the Big Questions/ Bold Answers ladies…..

Do you wish you had more body confidence?
What contributes to your body confidence?
And can you teach me how to take a better selfie? 😆

 

Suffering in silence…
steffani

Suffering in silence…

We’ve been going through a hard time as a family lately. (Public school issues mainly.)

I know my blog posts are normally only rainbows and butterflies. But I also know we all experience the highs and lows in life. We can never escape it. It’s gonna happen. We’ll lose loved ones. Fight with friends. Get kicked off a team. Have something lost or stolen. Break a bone. Or worse, have our heart broken. Especially as parents, we see injustice in the world. Far too often.

This. Is. Life. It’s bound to happen.

When I experience these things, which I do, ALL THE TIME. I tend to pull away from sharing. Not because I’m afraid or ashamed to share the shit and the trials and tribulations. But because I turn inward. And I have a habit of suffering in silence. Thinking no one will get it. Thinking that I may come off as negative or weak. Fearing that it will only make things worse if I speak of my troubles and stresses.

So today I put my coaching hat on and told myself what I would tell one of my clients.

Don't suffer in silence
Zoe and I

DO NOT SUFFER IN SILENCE. Ask for the help you need.

Speak to your fears. Name and claim your stressful thoughts. And find someone to help you THROUGH them.

Don’t suffer in silence. Do the work it takes to get you on the other side of this tunnel. Ask for the help you need to see the light. Use all your tools and lean on your tribe so you can find your way and make it to the other side.

We don’t need to suffer in silence. And in my opinion that never works. If anything it only causes us to stuff it down and experience it again tenfold.

There are so many practices we can use to move THROUGH our suffering.

The Byron Katie Work (one of my faves that I do with all my clients but have a hard time doing for myself when I’m really in the soup.)

EFT or Tapping (simple and easy, search it on Youtube. but then you still have to DO IT)

Therapy, counseling, coaching (Duh)

Talk to a friend (Not just any friend. Not a friend who will just agree and say “wow yea that SUCKS” but a TRUTH friend who will show you how you can do better, help you turn your thoughts around and hold your hand until you’re on the other side.)

A 3 part solution I share with my clients in times like these:

(reminding myself of them now so I’ll use them)

Step 1. Focus on the END RESULT of what you DO want. Stop dwelling on and thinking about what you don’t want.

Step 2. Give it away to a higher power. We’re not alone here. Stop acting like it.

Step 3. Safeguard your happiness. Do everything and anything that brings you JOY. Laugh, make love, dance, have FUN because no amount of suffering ever got us on the other side of the tunnel.

Have you ever found yourself suffering in silence? What do you do to get through it?

Xxxx,

How to Step into your Next Level Life NOW
steffani

How to Step into your Next Level Life NOW

If you want a blissed out, crazy fulfilling, ‘Holy Shit I Never Imagined It This Good’ kind of life, then you have to change something to get there.

Because guess what?!  The same thing you’ve BEEN doing WON’T get you there.  Yep, you already knew that, didn’t you?  But you’re also still doing the SAME THING.

Here’s the shift.

You have to change your DAILY HABITS.

Our life is defined by our daily habits. Whether they are consciously created or not. Conscious is really the keyword. Because we can create a lot of unconscious daily habits.  Easily.

Feeding your fear with food or TV or social media is an unconscious daily habit.
Comparison and jealousy are too.
Putting ourselves last.
Focusing on lack.
Negative thoughts.

Our triggers, our judgments, our self-sabotage are all unconscious, negative habits that hold us back from living that juicy delicious life we’re after. Look at anyone’s life and you will know what daily habits got them where they are.

A healthy, happy woman has a lot of healthy daily habits. 

She has a solid morning routine.
A self-care practice.
A gratitude practice.
She probably meditates.
Eats clean.
Has a strong community of women around her.
She knows what to do with her fears and shame.
She knows how to manage her triggers.

These are all powerful daily conscious habits.

So yes, the key to your next level life lies in your daily habits. 

Now how can we change them and replace the unconscious, negative habits with new powerful positive ones? I have a few strategies that have helped me.

1. Track and measure what you’re trying to create
2. Remove the obstacles standing in the way
3. Have someone hold you accountable

These three steps have worked for me and hundreds of my clients.  They have helped me create powerful positive habits from a daily green drink and vitamin supplements, new gratitude practices, giving my husband his love language to telling my kids every night that they’re meant for greatness.  They can work for you too in any area of your life for any new habit you want to create.

Check out my 5 Worst Practices High Achieving Women Implement When Trying To Up-Level Their Lives so you can avoid these practices and use powerful positive practices that work.

You won’t believe #5! (Actually, you will, because I’m sure you’re doing it.)

Your next level life is waiting… and oh is it worth it.