5 Powerful Core Values
steffani

5 Powerful Core Values

Many of you know I’ve been on this personal growth journey for almost 30 years now.  It’s been a beast at times, for sure. And the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. 

 

Years ago, probably 20+ years ago, I did a program (I forget the name) and they introduced Core Values to me.  It was the first time I really thought about my core values and how I wanted to really show up in my life. I was in my 20’s so my core values were NOT what they are now.  If I could find the workbook I’m sure my core values had a lot to do with partying and friendship because those were definitely my core values back then. Or so I thought. 

 

Over the last 10 years, well out of my 20’s and 30’s, I’ve been deeply exploring my core values.  And I teach this core value work to all of my clients. It’s part of the first module in my online course for a reason.  Because when we really understand and start to embody our core values we live our lives with more intention and purpose. And who doesn’t want that? 

 

I’ve found more and more that women (especially women) haven’t put any thought into their core values and when they do, their lives take off in a new direction. So…. over the next 5 days I’ll be sharing one of my core values with all of you in hopes that it might inspire you to uncover some of your own.  This is deep and beautiful work. I’m happy to share it with you. 

 

Core Values #1…. Radical Acceptance. 

 

I was talking to my coach the other day about radical acceptance and how important it is in my life and he woke me up to something.  He said, “You do get that people don’t understand what that means right?” “Um…. They don’t?” I stammered. Radical acceptance has become such a big part of my life and my vocabulary that I feel like it’s something everyone gets.  It’s a ‘yea duh’ to me and I forget sometimes that it’s not a ‘yea duh’ to everyone. 

 

What I’ve learned in my 30 years of personal growth exploration can all be boiled down to radical acceptance.  Meaning it’s important to me to not only radically accept who I am and love and honor ME, my life, my body, and my choices along this journey, but ALSO to radically accept everyone else around me.  To radically accept every soul whose life I come in contact with exactly as they are even the people who may trigger me, even the ones who have hurt me, even my Mom in her passive-aggressiveness – especially my Mom in her passive-aggressiveness. I need to radically accept my son’s teacher who treats him poorly,  our president and even my husband when he’s enraged. Everyone. Radically accepting people for exactly who they are, brings me peace. It’s a core value of mine because I believe it’s important and critical to our soul’s progression. 

 

But that’s just ME.  I find peace and freedom in radical acceptance.  I’m sure not everyone does. It’s a big concept to grasp.  I have women who have been working with me for years who still ask me…. “Ok how can I radically accept THIS guy.”  And we work through it. 

 

Radical acceptance brings me out of this very HUMAN experience I’m having and up and into the soul experience I’m really having.  It helps me see all as ONE. It helps me accept everyone as a soul having a human experience and everyone as having the perfect and right experience that they’re meant to have for their soul’s progression. Too deep for you?  Maybe. And that’s ok because I radically accept you for exactly where you are. 🙂 LOL 

 

Have you explored your core values?  I’d love to know and to hear what they are if you have.  Reply to this post I’m listening. 

 

Stay tuned for my second Core Value and how I really live these values and show up with them in life.

steffani

Staying CALM in the Chaos

  • By steffani
  • March 13, 2020
  • Mindset

Wow.  These are crazy times.  Nothing like we’ve ever seen before.  I have to be honest, I didn’t think this coronavirus pandemic would get this serious.  Every day it’s something new that is shocking and scary.  It’s very real and we need to take it seriously.  I know it’s created a lot of panic and I want to share some of the tools I use to help me stay calm during the chaos.

We can be cautious, stay safe AND be positive AND find joy during these very difficult times.  Here’s a short video I did in the Badass Mom Society FB group last night where I share tools to help you stay sane.

If you don’t have time to watch…  (I get it) Here’s a very brief overview… 

  • Take every precaution that feels right.  Wash hands, cancel plans, boost your immune system.
  • Don’t watch the alarmist news.  Find a reliable source that you trust.
  • Focus on your STATE every day.  Make sure you prime yourself and fill yourself up with the good things you need to feel good.
  • Focus on the end result of what you DO want.
  • Focus on your JOY.  Social distance doesn’t mean you need spiritual and connection distance.  We can be creative and still find ways to fill our cup.
  • Remember, this too shall pass.  We have all been through hard things.  This is nothing we can’t handle.

Repeat after me… I am ok.  I will be ok.  We will all be ok.  We’ve got this.  

Let me know how I can be of service to you.  If you’re having a really hard time digesting this please reach out to me.  I would be happy to get on a call and help you process and make a plan for your emotional well being.

Stay healthy and stay joyful,
Steffani

Mom, You don’t have a behavior problem
steffani

Mom, You don’t have a behavior problem

You don’t have a behavior problem. Listen. I know it feels that way. I know it looks and sounds like the one thing you need is for your son or daughter to “behave”. But I promise you, you don’t have a behavior problem.

You don’t have a homework problem.

Or a sibling fighting too much problem.

Or even a backtalk problem.

Yea. From an outside point of view, I see how it can look that way. And how it might feel that way to you. But that’s not the problem. Your kid’s behavior actually has nothing to do with it. It can feel that way. Oh boy, can it feel that way.  It’s so frustrating. It’s so hard. It’s so messy. It can raise our stress level from 1-10 instantly. But I promise you. It’s not your kids’ behavior that’s the problem.

The problem is you. Bottom line is… you haven’t done the work.

I know that sounds harsh but hear me out. When we don’t work on our foundation, on feeling mentally, emotionally and physically strong and when we don’t have our thoughts mastered, our feelings on point and our triggers in check, then we haven’t done all we can do to show up in the world as the best parent we can be.

It’s not their fault. It’s ours. Our kids respond to our behavior and their behavior is a language.  Am I saying that when our kids explode and are whiny and needy and talkback that it’s our fault? Yes. I’m saying that and MORE. The women that I work with prove one major thing to be true:

When we do the inner work and build a strong, solid foundation, we find the inner peace. The presence. The JOY.

And guess what? No one else changed. Just us.

When we do the work on US, we change our perspective and therefore our reality. When we do the work we can then build anything we want on that solid foundation. We get strong. And aware. And proactive. We start consciously creating a life we really truly wholeheartedly love.

It’s not pretty. It takes work. It’s ugly at first. It’s messy in the middle. But it’s gorgeous at the end. And in the end, we see our kid’s behavior in a completely different light. It’s just a language. Telling us what we need to work on.

Are you ready to do the work? Message me