People Think I Have An “Easy” Life
steffani

People Think I Have An “Easy” Life

People think I have an “easy” life. Someone actually said to me recently…

“Sure it’s easy for you, you’re married and your husband has money.”

What they didn’t know is: I met John when he had a broken arm and a broken leg and wasn’t working.

What they don’t know is: He struggled battling drugs and alcohol for the first 8 years of our relationship.

What they don’t know is: He got sober at 28 and through it all, I never left his side.

What they don’t know is: I saw in him what he lost for many years, the man who could have this life. The man who deserved this life.

What they don’t know is: We both had big dreams. And we both went after them.

What they don’t know is: We’re both self-made We’ve earned every penny we have.

What they don’t know is: We still struggle sometimes, we’re both explosive and we fight a lot.

What they don’t know is: We agreed a long time ago, lifetimes ago, to have this life together. And that overrides everything.

What they don’t know is: We’ve earned this life we have. We’ve earned this love. We’ve earned this abundance. We’ve earned it all.

Things can appear so easy. We never know what someone went through to get all they have or what they’re going through now.

The important thing to remember is we create our lives. Every moment of them. We chose who we’re with. We choose our experiences. We create our abundance or lack of it. There is nothing in our lives that is beyond our control.

If you want something. Go after it. Earn it. And it can be yours.

Masterminds Work and Here’s Why
steffani

Masterminds Work and Here’s Why

I started running my first accountability/mastermind group over 25 years ago. Right out of college, as a theater arts major, I started an actors group. I wanted to surround myself with more actors, successful actors and help even newer actors. We met monthly and held each other accountable for auditions and agent submissions. We shared the latest classes and monologues and read lines together. We celebrated wins and cheered each other on. It was powerful to say the least. I was running that group for a few years. And during that time I landed my dream agent. Booked my first commercial. Got a film gig. And much more. It helped me achieve all my dreams in acting at that time.

Accountability became my new drug. I saw the power in it and used it in MANY other areas of my life. Because it works. Many of us have trouble being self-motivated. And holding ourselves accountable for daily tasks or big things we want to achieve. Here’s one thing I know for sure after running groups for over 25 years.

We’ll do more for another than we’ll do for ourselves.

It’s true. Because if I start showing up with nothing done, I give everyone else permission to slack off. It’s true. When I don’t achieve my goals then it’s ok for you not to. But when I want you to have your dream as much or more than I want mine, then I’m gonna show up. For YOU and for ME.

Alone we can go fast. But together we can go farther.

You see it all the time. Your gurus are participating in Masterminds. The most successful people in the world are attending the most successful masterminds in the world. Why? Because they work!

When like-minded people get together to support each other, everyone wins. There’s support. There’s accountability. There’s a level of friendly competition. And most importantly, there are other people who have done what you want to do. They’ve been there. Gone through it. Experienced it. And have come out on the other side. They’re happy to show you how it’s done. They’re also THERE FOR YOU. And they BELIEVE IN YOU.

All the masterminds that I’ve been a part of have believed in me before I believed in myself. They saw my greatness. They KNEW I could achieve my dreams. It was me that needed to catch up.

After that actor’s group, I started accountability/mastermind groups around Health and Fitness, My Relationship, Career, Writing, Motherhood. I can’t even count all of the groups I’ve run and attended. I’ve run some that were 2 weeks long and 2 years long. They’re all EFFECTIVE.

Here’s what I’ve learned over 25 years regarding what a great accountability/mastermind group needs:

  1. The right curated people who have shared interests and shared beliefs. (The belief piece is key here. And the random groups are not as effective as the curated ones.)
  2. Awesome content. Something to keep everyone engaged for the long haul.
  3. Collaboration. Everyone needs to share their talents and expertise.
  4. Commitment. People have to understand the power of commitment and fully commit mind body and soul to the group.
  5. Consistency. Weekly is best and definitely most effective but the group can agree on the consistency. They just all need to show up EVERY time.

When these 5 pieces are put together… MAGIC happens. People do things they’ve always dreamed of doing. They create new daily habits. They think outside of the box. The love and support is overwhelming. Suddenly everything seems possible.

Masterminds work! I can personally guarantee it.

XXX,

Next Level Live Mastermind

Steff

PS If you’re ready for a life-changing mastermind my Next Level Life Mastermind is starting in June. A small group of women, 6 months of coaching, community, and accountability, and 2 LUXURY retreats. Click Here to apply. And make this the year of your dreams!

Why Workshops DON’T Work and What Does
steffani

Why Workshops DON’T Work and What Does

I’m a personal growth JUNKIE. 

If I could actually add up all the workshops, conferences, speakers and retreats I’ve been to over the course of my life, you’d be concerned.  And you should be.

There’s no end to the madness.  I just attended what feels like my 800th  workshop this past weekend.

I sat, in a hotel banquet room, with 33 other participants for fourteen hours a day for five straight days.

We got very little sleep.  No sunlight.  Only hotel food.  And little to no exercise.

This event was a struggle for me.

I couldn’t sit still.  I found myself constantly planning my next brief escape.  Looking for any excuse to get out of the room.  To go the bathroom.  To refill my water.  To get some coffee.  (I don’t even drink coffee) To scour the hotel for dark chocolate.

I’ve been attending events like this for the last 25 years.  MANY per year.  All over the world. 

And I’m setting a declaration right now that this will be my LAST.    

Sure these events serve a purpose.  And 25 years ago I LOVED every minute of them.  I was happy to sit in that banquet room.  To meet other like-minded people.  To soak up the wisdom of some guru or follow some format and structure to help me in some area of my life.

Do they work?  Yes….
Is there a better way?  HELL YES!

What I realized at this event is that I now crave something different.

Of course, I’ll always be learning.  I’ll never stay stagnant and stop growing.  So there will be events I attend in the future.

But the events I’ll go to have to be different.

Here are some things they MUST have:

A beautiful atmosphere.
Excellent people.
Healthy food.
Time for exercise.
Time for reflection.
Unique processes.
Tons of value.
Teachers I admire.  And who are living a truly inspiring life.
An element of giving back.
Continued engagement.
Accountability.
Epic experiences.
And dark chocolate. 

Honestly, if an event doesn’t have all of these things I’m not going.

And I vow to you now that any events I host going forward will contain all of this and more.

Life is too short to spend more than a few hours in a hotel banquet room.

Our time here is SO precious.

When I look back over all the workshops I attended over the years, the most memorable ones were NOT spent in hotel banquet room all day long.  It’s just not conducive.

Who learns that way?

I know I don’t.  I learn from experience.  From connection.  From conversation. 

Not from a multitude of information being thrown at me under forced air vents and fluorescent lighting, all while I struggle to stay awake.

When I did attend events like that the magic of the event usually happened in the hallway.  Or over dinner.  Or from the friendships that were formed along the way.

I think it’s time we raised our standards.  And appealed to ALL learning types.  Why not portray the life we’re actually promising?

And another ‘problem’ with these events is they don’t create change.

A one-time event whether it’s a few hours or 5 days doesn’t create change if there aren’t elements in place to create that change.  For me, that element has to be continued engagement and accountability.  If there’s no one to check in with me to see if I’m doing all that was taught to me, will I actually do it?  Most likely not.

I’ll get back home and life will happen and I won’t have time to implement it all. 

I can tell you from decades of experience as an attendee and from hosting dozens of my own events.

There’s a better way. 

I encourage you to set some of your own guidelines for events you’ll attend in the future.  What are some of your MUST haves?

A great atmosphere?
Speakers of high integrity?
Quality food?
Uplifting people?
A beautiful atmosphere?
An element of freedom?
Accountability?
Dark chocolate?

Define what it is for YOU.  Because YOU are what matters.  No amount of suffering through an experience that’s not custom designed for you will serve you. 

next level life mastermindIf you ARE looking for a quality experience that has all the elements that I mentioned above and more then I invite you to apply for my Next Level Life Mastermind.

This is not a one-off event. (Because those don’t work) It’s a 6-month long accountability program that has 2 luxury retreats and more transformation than would ever imagine possible.  It’s the coaching, the community and the accountability you’ll need to take your life to the next level.  If it feels like a hell yes… apply here.

To your BEST life,
Steffani