Do You Allow Others to Determine Your Mood?
steffani

Do You Allow Others to Determine Your Mood?

When you allow the insignificant actions of other people to determine your mood, you lose.  You give your power away.  I hear from my clients on a daily basis that “someone” threw their day off.

 

“My Mom is so passive aggressive.” 

“My husband is so negative.” 

“My kids’ words are so hurtful.” 

“My sister is so judgmental.” 


And then we shrink.  We forget our power and we fall back into old patterns and behavior.  And guess what……??? We do exactly what we’re shaming them for doing.  We act passive aggressively. We get negative and judgmental.  We’re hurtful with our words about them. We’re being a smaller version of ourselves. And we’re also feeling superior and kind of like a victim and the hero all at once.  Our ego is in heaven.  But it’s not enough just to have this insight and hope we’ll do better next time.  Hope is not a plan.

We need to create new patterns and behaviors. 

We need to create a new personality. One that won’t get rattled by the insignificant words or actions from someone else.  That new personality can be unshakeable.  Only then can we design a new reality.  One that will lead to our dream life.

We think it’s easy, but it’s not.  It takes work.  It takes new tools.  It takes accountability.  These new patterns and behaviors don’t make themselves.  We are continuously tested and pushed. But listen, isn’t this life worth it?  

The work pays off when we find more inner peace.  When we have more joy-filled days.  When we don’t get triggered, we control our reactions and all of that leads to more happy moments and special memories.  

If we don’t do the work we’re missing out.  Life is too short to live it in judgment of other people.  There’s a better way.  

Where are YOU giving away your power? 

How Your Mindset Determines Your Success
steffani

How Your Mindset Determines Your Success

  • By steffani
  • November 18, 2020
  • Mindset

Mastering your MINDSET is the most overlooked aspect of health, fitness, relationships, abundance, AND happiness.  And, it’s the most important if you want SUSTAINABLE success in any of these areas. Most experts fly right past mindset and start with ACTION. (You know, the “how to” strategies, tips and tactics.) They push action and try and force results.  

That’s all well and good, but… It doesn’t work.  Here’s why… 

You have to put your STATE and your STORY (or mindset) first. 

Here’s an example.  You can have the perfect seed, and have the best strategies and follow all the best advice and instructions to grow that seed.  You can water it and get it out in the sun  taking all the ACTION necessary to grow that seed.  BUT, if you plant that seed in the wrong foundation, if you plant it in cement, or in clay, it doesn’t matter what you DO it will never grow and flourish.  So, we have to ensure the soil (or mindset) is a fertile environment for the seed to grow and flourish.

 

This principle gets missed too often, and that’s why success is short-lived at best. To change our habits and behaviors, we’re constantly told to:

Do more 

Force change 

Hustle 

Push past our fears 

Overcome obstacles 

Move outside our comfort zone 

 

These are all ACTIONS we’re instructed to take.

 

But, here’s what happens:

If you don’t address your underlying perceptions, beliefs, and expectations about those (or any) behaviors…

… simply performing the action will NOT lead to sustained success.

 

A few EXAMPLES will help illustrate this point. (These all represent actions, behaviors, and habits that you’re probably familiar with):

– Health: You lose weight by exercising and eating healthy (action). You don’t sustain the weight loss (because you haven’t addressed the beliefs you have around your self worth.  

 

– Career, Finances: You make a lot of money by working, saving, and investing (action). You don’t sustain it, and lose it because you haven’t changed your abundance mindset.  

 

– Relationships: People get out of a toxic relationship, then jump right back into another one. They haven’t changed their unconscious limiting beliefs. 

 

You try to modify behaviors, but ultimately, it’s not changing the end result. You MIGHT see short-term improvement… but not sustainable long-term health, wealth, happiness, or success.  The TAKE-HOME POINT? 

 

You, me, and everyone has old patterns and habits, unconscious stories, narratives, limiting beliefs and thoughts that DRIVE our conscious actions, habits, and behaviors. 

 

We think we’re creating behavior changes through conscious action… BUT, the UNCONSCIOUS DRIVES THE ACTION. Our beliefs whether positive or negative will always create our reality.  

 

We will continue falling back into our old behaviors and habits unless we change and upgrade these unconscious beliefs.  

 

Sustainable change in your health and life means fixing the driver of the action and behavior.

 

Now, how can you do that? See the P.S. below…

 

PS If you’re ready for a NEXT LEVEL mastermind I’m starting a very small intimate group soon with the most access to me of any of my programs or masterminds. If this sounds like something you need, apply here.

Your Next Level/NEW Normal….
steffani

Your Next Level/NEW Normal….

Two Years ago I taught a course at Mindvalley University in Barcelona, Spain.  It was an incredible experience.  But there was one problem. I had my own coaching business but I was teaching someone else’s program.  And I was good at it.  I was great at it.  AND I was traveling around the world teaching it WHILE doing my own coaching.  Win.  Win.  Right? 

No.  Not right. 

I was teaching someone else’s program.  Not my own. 

I felt it.  And kept feeling it.  That pull that comes from your heart when you’re ready for more, when your soul is whispering.  Will you listen? 

I’ve heard this before…. over and over I’ve heard it.  Sometimes I listened.  Sometimes I didn’t. I only regretted the times I didn’t listen. 

And so I leapt. 

The next time I was asked to teach that program….I said no.  Even though it was good money.  Even though it was an amazing opportunity.  Even though it was a very enticing destination. 

Because here’s the thing, I didn’t want to be known for teaching THAT program.  I wanted to be known for teaching my own. 

So I had to leap.  It really wasn’t an option.  The cocoon was breaking apart.  It couldn’t hold me back any longer. 

The transformation isn’t easy.  It’s definitely a metamorphosis.  And there’s lots to learn.  But I’m happy to report that just 2 years later all my dreams are now my new normal. 

The programs I wanted to run.  The courses I wanted to design.  The masterminds.  The luxury retreats.  The team.  The platform.  The list.  The book.  The speaking gigs.  All of it. 

And then I got the call…. I was asked to speak at Mindvalley University again.  But this time doing my own thing.  Teaching my own workshop. 

And let me tell you…. It.  Was.  Spectacular!  It was everything I dreamed of and more. 

I stood at the front of the room at the end of my talk, with people applauding and a standing ovation.  They came up to meet me and give me a hug and asked me to sign my book.  It was a dream.  It was surreal.  And it was everything I had pictured and more.  

And… it felt so normal.  It was easy.  Almost effortless.  It felt right.  I felt like I belonged up there.  The praise and accolades felt normal.  The book signing felt normal.  The standing O felt normal. 

This quickly became my new normal. 

And it can for you too.  When you get sick and tired of doing for others and you’re ready, really ready to step up and do for yourself.  It can be your new normal when you’re finally ready to leap.  It might not mean to quit your job and start your own thing but you know what the leap is.  It might be a leap into your health and fitness, a leap into your relationship or a leap into investing in yourself and your self care.  But there’s a leap.  How do I know?  Because it’s life.  And we’re made for this. 

Are you ready to leap?  Are you ready for your new normal? 

I’d love to hear what it is. 

Take the first step and post your leap here. This tribe knows how to support the caterpillars. 

Soon to be butterflies, 

Steffani