Stay Sane Over the Holidays
steffani

Stay Sane Over the Holidays

I hope you’re finding a LOT of peace and ease these days especially with the holidays approaching.  Here in the U.S., we have Thanksgiving SOON and that can always bring up some sticky, heightened drama, high anxiety, and a lot of other negative emotions and experiences.  Not exactly what you want to experience during the holidays. This should be a time to celebrate life and be present with your family, right? Well, it doesn’t always go that way.  

Check out this FB Live I did recently where I share 3 key shifts that will help you have a better holiday experience.  

If you want the cliff notes version here it is: (but there are a lot of great questions and some gems in the video, check it out if you have time.) 

With these heightened emotions and lots of expectations, we can feel personally injured during the holidays.  We tend to ‘should’ all over people. They ‘should’ want to be here. My Mom ‘should’ be more organized. My sister in law ‘should’ have told me in advance.  Etc. Etc.  

I had a major adjustment to our Thanksgiving plans just 2 days ago.  And through that experience, I realized I had to use all my personal growth tools to help me out of it.  Here’s what I came up with.  

#1.  Don’t take anything personally and don’t let any negative stories about yourself or others spiral out of control.  

#2.  Release your unreasonable expectations around what the holidays should look like and the MEANING you choose to place on them.  

#3.  Have radical acceptance for what IS showing up. 

It’s not the circumstance that brings you stress it’s your thoughts that the circumstances should be different then they are.  

Most importantly what we really need to do is come from a place of love.  Love all those around us. And show up as our best selves. When you allow all this in, you’ll be present, you’ll be more patient and you’ll find a lot more joy.  

For practical ways how you can do this watch this video training.  I have a lot to share on the ‘meaning’ we chose to place on things and how we can change the meaning.  

You are ridiculously in charge of your inner peace.  You are ridiculously in charge of your emotional well being.  You are ridiculously in charge of your holidays. Take charge now. 

Keep your eye out for my first ever Black Friday sale for your soul. 🙂 

Grateful for you!

The #1 Skill You Need In Parenting
steffani

The #1 Skill You Need In Parenting

Have you ever thought about PROJECTION?  How you may project your ideas, opinions, feelings or unreasonable expectations onto others.  Especially our kids?!  

Well you might not have thought about it that way. Or maybe you have. But either way, we do it.  

We use our past experience and our childhood to ‘predict’ how our kids are FEELING. And we try and manipulate their reality to shape the story we have of what it should be.  

Sounds crazy I know. But we do it… ALL THE TIME.  

Check out this video where I share the #1 most important skill you need in parenting.  And how we PROJECT all over the place. 

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If you’re not ‘into’ video.  Here are the cliff notes…  

When we project our values, opinions, feelings, and expectations onto our kids we always come out disappointed. The key to changing this is to PAUSE. Stop and reflect on what you’re doing and how that’s affecting your child’s experience. And your own. I share a few examples of how I used the pause approach in my own life to help you see where it can be highly effective.  

Similar to the PAUSE is the #1 most important skill you need in parenting. And that is to learn how to STOP. To stop yourself in your tracks and respond instead of reacting.  

I know it sounds hard or damn near impossible to do that at the moment when your kid just told you to ‘go F yourself”. But it is possible. It’s not only possible it’s necessary. For us to stay sane and for them to stay alive.  

More stories about how this is possible and some great questions from some awesome Mamas in the training video. 

I’d love to hear what comes up for you.  Have you been projecting?  Do you need to pause more?  Have you learned the amazing magic of STOPPING in your tracks and responding versus reacting?  Leave me a comment. I’d love to connect with you. 

It’s ok to cry.
steffani

It’s ok to cry.

I hope you know, it’s ok to cry.  Actually, I think it’s crucial. We often hold back our tears and see them as a weakness.  I learned years ago when I first started out on this personal growth journey that it’s a strength.  

 

I’ll never forget the women sitting next to me in a circle who looked at my tears and said: “I wish I could feel like you do,”  That’s when it hit me that it’s ok to cry. It’s ok to feel. It’s not just ok it’s necessary for us to move through our feelings and get to the other side of them.  

 

Now, I’m not ashamed to cry.  

 

I cry every day….

 

I don’t cry every day out of sadness or anger or upset.  Sure I have as many challenges as anyone else in this life.  I have stresses and frustrations and family members who are ill.  But still, that’s not why I cry.

 

Every day I cry for a different reason. 

 

I cry because this life is pure magic.

I cry out of gratitude for every breath.

I cry for beauty.

I cry at art.

I cry when I see moments of kindness.

I cry when I hear beautiful music.

I cry when I sing.

I cry when I reflect on life in the shower.

I cry when I say goodbye to a friend.

I cried eating a blueberry muffin at Starbucks once.  It was a really really good muffin! 

I cry at commercials.

I cry watching my kids sleep.

I cry when I travel – when I fly through the air and look out the window. 

I cry when I walk into a church.

 

My husband jokes that I cry at mall openings.  I have never cried at a mall opening. But I have cried at the opening of the Olympics.  And the closing ceremonies. And my son’s soccer game yesterday.

 

Basically, I cry when I feel connected.  I cry when I FEEL this life. When I feel alive. 

 

Unapologetically I cry.  And I look forward to the moments in my day, those vulnerable, beautiful, tear-filled moments where my heart feels so full I can hardly breathe. When I sip air in through my nose and my eyes well up with tears only to be sucked back in moments later when I compose myself, it is a moment of sheer bliss.  A moment of REAL life. To feel alive. And grateful. And connected. 

 

I’ve never counted how many times I’ve cried in a day.  But I might start now. And I invite you to start with me.  Can we FEEL alive and connected 2 times, 5 times,10 times a day?  I’m willing to try.

 

This is LIFE.  This is really living. 

 

My wish for you is that you feel all your feelings today.  All the joy and all the sorrow. All the beauty and the pain.  I hope you feel it and move through it. If I can support you in any way, I’m here.  Let’s cry together. 

 

To join me on this journey start by taking this Best Life Quiz to discover what’s holding you back from living a life you wholeheartedly love and one you FEEL every day.